Subspace and Subdrop--Warning! May Increase Pleasure!

We have written on this topic before, but only from a very distant, theoretical approach. I am writing now from a personal point of view.

I was just in and out of sub space less than an hour ago. My Dom had to leave to go to work, so I am left now, thinking dreamily about him. Luckily he was able to provide sufficient aftercare before he left that I am feeling fine. While I can get out of hardcore subspace in a few minutes, I'm finding it takes minutes and hours to completely come back to reality. It is like I have been asleep, and it takes me several hours to completely lose the groggy feeling.

Since I am pretty new to subspace, I thought I might help out fellow subs by describing how it feels for us newbies. I've heard there is a different type of subspace, brought on by an endorphin high after pain, and I've never tried that; this subspace is completely emotional.

Experienced BDSMers talk about subspace as though the rest of us should know what it is. But how do we newbies know? Honestly, the first few times I was in subspace, I didn't realize what it was. I just knew I felt very obedient for a while. I can best describe it now as an altered state of consciousness, similar to what you get from other altered states of consciousness: being drunk, doing pot, sleeping, dreaming, undergoing hypnosis.

How do you know when you are in subspace? For me, it feels very dreamy. My Dom describes me as saying I seem "zombie-like," although I prefer "dreamy"--much better image, no? :) As a sub, you will go from feeling quite normal and maybe even rather bratty and having a lot of fight in you, to suddenly very quiet, docile, and obedient. I'm a very mouthy, opinionated, independent, strong woman normally---but when my Dom puts me in subspace (usually by yelling at me or speaking sternly to me, like I'm a small child), I change completely. Suddenly I am obedient to everything he says. It doesn't occur to me to fight with him or argue with him. I am incredibly sensitive during this time. Things that usually turn me on, like insulting me or calling me names, will utterly devastate me in this mood. I feel like a dreamy, obedient slave, doing everything he says without question (or at least with minimal whining!). He is suddenly my entire focus of being, and without him to give me a command I would probably just sit dumbly and wait. Things that in "normal space" I would not do or find gross/embarrassing, I do without question now because he wants it. I feel needy and sensitive, and want 100% to please him, which is why any insults, harsh words, dirty talk, or hint of being angry at me or disappointed in me will send me into a spiral of depression.

I love being in subspace! It is a welcome relief from the stresses of the world. I am normally so busy being my Dom's equal, worrying about life and family and friends and maintaining a relationship, being a good worker and Christian and maintaining healthy balances and hobbies and interests. I am a go-getter, an achiever, and driven. Suddenly that all goes away, and I feel numb and dreamy, and nothing exists in the world but my Dom. It is all so wonderfully simple. I want to please him, and I am 100% in touch with my base instincts at that moment---stripped bare of society and pretenses, I am a needy, clingy little girl and at the same time a completely sexual, horny, bottomless pit of sexual desire I want him to fill. All the facades have been stripped away, and I am stripped to the core of my being for those moments: serving him and getting sex.

It is a highly addictive feeling! I find I crave it more the more I experience it.

Of course, what is not fun is coming out of subspace. This is called subdrop. Once I orgasm, or when he quietly says, "Okay, Pretty Girl, come back out soon," I know to start heading back toward reality. Once he says that, he just needs to wait quietly for me to drift out on my own. But then I sort of crash. I am overwhelmed with an entirely irrational paranoia that I do not please him. I get sensitive, sad, clingy, needy, and whiny. I ask him again and again if he is happy, if I annoy him, does he mind I'm being needy?, etc, etc, etc. No matter how many times he reassures me, I still keep asking. Luckily for me my Dom is incredibly patient and has never once gotten annoyed at this irrational and somewhat infuriating behavior. He normally just laughs and enjoys it, seeing it as one more way he has power over me. He will reassure me endlessly, answering and re-answering the same questions as long as I need him to. This is our version of aftercare.

Every sub is different during subspace and subdrop, and I can only speak for myself. The closest feeling to being in subspace is the feeling of doing pot, and the closest analogy for subdrop is having a really depressed, needy day. Subspace is fantastic; subdrop is not.

Even though I'm enough out of subspace to function normally after only a few seconds or minutes, the feeling drifts with me for several more minutes or hours. I've heard of other subs during this time who wrote incredibly personal, needy emails to their Doms, only to regret it hours later when they felt normal! Suddenly I understand that, as in this mood I find myself wanting to express my undying adoration of him, but most of the time, in our regular lives as a Christian couple, I just want to smack him for not being more perfect! LOL.

If you happen to find yourself feeling numb and wanting nothing more than serve your Dom, congratulations.... you're in subspace. If you're a Dom who has the pleasure of a sub who is ready and willing to serve your every whim, enjoy the pampering and power you receive during this time. And if you're not there yet, keep playing BDSM, and eventually it will just happen. Trust me. It did for me.