Ideas for Age Play

If you engage in age play, or want to try it, there are really no rules.

You can pretend to be any age you want. Partners of either gender can take turns playing the "little," or if one of you feels more comfortable always being the little and the other one feels more natural as a Mommy, Daddy, Auntie, or babysitter, you can stick to those rules for as long as they make you happy.

If you're interested in age play, try different ideas for your BDSM scenes, such as:

• pick one age you feel you are and stick with it
• don't pick any age, just "go with the flow"
• change your "age" from day to day for variety
• change your personality as a little (bratty, sweet, sleepy, needy, playful, hyper...)
• invest in some cute undies or adult diapers that make you feel your little's age
• make cookies and watch Disney movies or other movies that remind you of being younger!
• if your little is a teenager, experiment with makeup or hair styles like a real teen!
• drink chocolate milk and engage in fun, silly foods like green eggs and ham or mac n' cheese
• play with dolls, trucks, legos, or coloring books. These are relaxing and fun for adults, too!
• cuddle and feel free to act your most vulnerable

My Dom and I don't regularly do age play, but we have tried it out and liked it. Sometimes he will just be able to tell when I'm feeling small and will ask me, "How old do you feel?" Sometimes I'm not sure of an age, or I just know that I feel vulnerable and needy, but not necessarily younger.

Other times, I do feel younger. Sometimes we'll even do a scene where we pretend I'm two different ages: for age play to be effective for me, I need to feel under the age of puberty to be able to regain some of that lost innocence, so I'll pick 10 or 12, while my Dom feels creepy if he pictures me prepubescent and he'll picture me as 14 or 16. We both just keep those different images in our heads and the scene works fine (apparently what I think of as 12-year-old behavior seems fine to him as 16-year-old behavior as well!).

The great thing about age play is that it is very freeing. There are no "rules" for how children have to act. In this headspace, the little can feel free to vent anger, throw tantrums, be self-absorbed, cry without a good reason, and whine shamelessly. Children and teens have a certain innocence and raw self-absorption we lose or mask as adults, and it can be freeing to finally be able to crawl up and cry, or yell, or just play with G.I. Joes and trucks, and not worry about bills, children, relationships, jobs, money, and all the stresses and responsibilities that come with being an adult.

Bondage Rope and Shots Scenes

The other day, my Dom used our bondage rope for a wonderfully devious purpose--to force me to do his will during the scene. Instead of tying my wrists or ankles with the rope, he looped it around my neck in a gentle knot. I was stuck.

This extra control was great for him, because with just a slight tug or pull he could force my head and body to go wherever he wanted them. He forced me to kneel before him on a pillow, tugging at the rope whenever I was too hesitant or slow for his liking. Then he forced me to give him head, even with me saying no and protesting and turning my head away, by pulling on the cord around my neck until I had no choice but to take him in my mouth. (For those new to the blog, we have a relationship of consensual non-consent and I am always allowed to use my safeword.)

I can't lie, the control was hot. Not the things we were doing, but being forced to do them. With just a soft rope around my neck and him pulling it like a leash or lead, I was at his mercy. I think we both enjoyed it.

Later, we went to a hookah bar since I'd never tried the hookah bar. Some people we knew were there, so we stayed very late, and during that time I told him "no" several times, so afterwards for my punishment he took me to a seedy bar and made me take 2 double shots of whiskey, which I don't like. I pouted and whined and promises to be better next time, but he was completely firm, and no amount of pleading, cajoling, or rationalizing worked. Finally, I took my two shots worth of punishment and we headed on home, me feeling tipsy and even more at his control. We ended the night by cuddling up in bed and falling into an exhausted sleep, but it was a very fun night out.

Today has been rather unactive. My Dom found a kitten outside that was obviously alone and hungry so we've let her in and given her food and toys. Our two kitties are very unhappy with this; one is watching her every move like a hawk and the other is hiding in the back bedroom. I'd love to keep her, but we can't keep three kitties so I will eventually put her up for adoption. She's a cute cat and very young so we hope we'll find her a good home.

Well, that's all my news for the day. I think the scene from last night was very good, so if you like any of the ideas, feel free to use them as suggestions for your own scene ideas with your sub or Dom.

Oh, and I'm on Twitter now, so if you want to follow me, go to http://twitter.com/Sexperts_!

Asking Permission to Do Things

Today there was a discussion on Fetlife about what kinds of things slaves and subs must ask permission to do. While most D/s relationships have rules, the non-kinky domestic discipline groups like CDD or Taken in Hand tend to only have a few rules, and ones that are obviously helpful to the woman (to keep her safe, to make her a better person, to keep her healthy, etc.). On the other hand, in Master/slave and Dominant/sub relationships, some people prefer to have many rules for the sub.

What are some examples of things slaves and subs could be required to ask permission for?

1. Going to the bathroom.
2. Using furniture in the house (including beds, tables, and chairs).
3. Using the phone or internet.
4. Leaving the house.
5. Shopping or spending money.
6. Corresponding with new people on Fetlife or the internet.
7. Posting photos to Fetlife.
8. To talk to other Dom/mes or Masters/Mistresses.
9. To ask Doms and Masters permission to speak to their slaves or subs.
10. To begin eating.
11. To masturbate.
12. To orgasm.
13. To sexually pleasure the Dom or Master.
14. To leave the Master's presence.
15. To drink anything other than water.
16. To change a profile picture online.
17. To speak or ask a question.
18. To go out late with friends.
19. To open the mail.
20. To read or respond to messages online.
21. To smoke or drink.
22. To sleep in bed every night.
23. To post to online blogs or journals.
24. To visit friends or family.
25. To choose the clothing for the day.

Depending on how strict or laid back a Master wants to be, the rules can be very general ("You don't have to ask permission to do anything unless I am in the room with you") or very strict ("You can't use public or private toilets with the seat down"). It all depends on the couple!

Potty Play

Something my Dom and I have been talking a lot about lately is Potty Play.

This is, of course, my own term for it. You can find lots of sexual kinks that have to do with going to the bathroom (or the opposite--making someone hold it). There are lots of names for these kinks: golden showers, enemas, enema torture, scat, watersports, human toilet... I'm sure there are more.

First, what are these things?

(These definitions are mine and very unofficial!)

• golden showers: urinating on someone
• enemas: putting water or a liquid solution in the anus and bowels, resulting in a "cleansing" of the colon and solid waste removal
• enema torture: giving someone an enema and making them hold their bowel movement until they go crazy
• forced holding: making someone hold it to show your control over them
• diapers: having someone wear a diaper and/or dirty the diaper in public or during sex play
• scat: any sort of play with poop--pooping on someone, pooping during sex, etc.
• watersports: any play that involves urination
• human toilet: using a submissive or slave as your toilet; i.e. they drink your urine/eat your feces, or you use your tongue as toilet paper.

Second, are they dangerous?

Well, most kinks can be dangerous, and it just depends on how far you take it. For instance, eating someone else's feces, yes, can be dangerous. Water sports and scat can both be safe if you keep the contact to your skin and no mucus membranes. If you touch feces to mucus membranes (nose, eyes, mouth, vagina, penis, anus) the bacteria can get inside your body and make you very sick, but if you keep it to your skin and wash well afterward, it's safer.

Urine is generally safer to ingest than feces. This is because urine is sterile when it first leaves the body (unless your partner has some kind of kidney or urinary tract infection); it is only when urine touches the air that bacteria start to thrive. Of course, urine is body waste, and ingesting it could mess up your body's salt and chemical levels, but a little bit probably won't kill you. The more diluted the urine is (the more hydrated your partner is), the less dangerous it is.

Ingesting feces, on the other hand, can be dangerous. Bacteria that live in your intestines and bowels are not meant to be introduced to your stomach. Ingesting poop is a good way to transfer Hepatitis. Generally, if you want to try scat play, it's safer to try it with a partner you've known for a long time and who has no STDs. Also, if you live with someone your internal bacteria tend to grow more similar. This doesn't mean it's safe to ingest anyone's poop--even your own--but it does make it safer.

Enemas can be very safe, especially if you're using sterile water or a medically approved enema solution. There are others, however, that aren't good for your body and can irritate your colon and anus. I've heard of people who used alcohol or chili peppers to cause their partners pain, but this can actually irritate and cause tears in your colon's interior lining. Not a good idea!

Last, if I find this kind of stuff kinky or fun, what kind of stuff can I try?

Well, there's tons of gross-and-kinky stuff out there. I'm a little grossed out by body functions myself, so I can't give you any personal recommendations (yet?), but there are some websites that will give you ideas, list the potential dangers, and show you how to keep safe. They include:

• Pigmedia: Dangers of Scat
• Pigmedia: Dangers of Watersports
• Pigmedia: Enemas
• Wiki: Watersports
• BEST Slave Training: Enemas
• Informed Consent: Human Toilets

Blood Play

Blood play is a particular fetish that relates blood to sexual arousal. While it is considered edge play because it obviously carries the risk of diseases, with a monogamous partner this should not be a problem.

Humans seem fascinated with bodily fluids. I've heard of fetishes for blood, urine, feces, cum--basically everything except vomit. (Who knows? There may be a fetish for that, too!) Using cum or urine during BDSM scenes is the most common, but while wandering the online halls of the BDSM mansion you'll find some references to blood play.

Blood play is a fairly obvious fetish that doesn't need a lot of explaining. People get kicks out of incorporating blood into their scenes. Sometimes this has to do with the pain involved, so "pain sluts" (subs who enjoy pain) and their Tops will enjoy this. It isn't about the blood, but causing pain and leaving a mark. This can be as simple as a needle prick or a small cut. Making the victim bleed shows the Tops power and the sub's helplessness.

Blood play can get more intricate, of course. Some people get turned on by making love to a woman while she is on her period. Others taste or drink the blood of their victim, almost like playing at being vampires.

When I looked online for more info, most of the blood fetish sites had more to do with vampirism than with BDSM, but you can find some BDSMers into it as well.

If the idea of using a knife on your sub until there is a thin trickle of blood running down his back turns you on, you might be interested in blood play. If you think it would be sexy to frighten your slave with a needle and then lick the drop of blood, or if it turns you on to think about having sex with your wife when she's on her period, this fetish might be for you!

For more info, see:

• Wiki on blood fetishism
• Vampirism

In other news, I have a 10% off from Babeland's online toy store than I am offering to any reader who leaves a comment and gives me the most convincing reason why you need/deserve/want ten percent off from a sex toy store! You can buy sex toys, vibes, dildos, condoms, lube, handcuffs, paddles, and other bondage gear at Babeland, so whatever you're interested in, they'll probably have it! Tell me what you're lusting after and why you want the 10% off. The most convincing person (or, if only one person participates, that lucky poster!) will receive a code for 10% any Babeland online merchandise. I'll announce the winner in one week (August 18, 2009). Obviously, if you participate, you need to let me know how I can reach you to give you the code. If you don't want your contact info posted, feel free to send me a private email.

Also, I am super excited because I've just received clover nipple clamps! I can't wait to try them out! :) Look back here for a review later this week!

Adult Babies

Adult babies (commonly seen on fetish sites as AB) is a fetish involving age play.

You can also see AB called infantilism, age play, age regression, and diapering.

Of course, adult babies realize they are adults (hence the name "AB"). But they find it kinky or sexy to play the infant to their top's Mommy or Daddy.

Some adult babies enjoy wearing diapers. Others never wear a diaper for their play. Some just enjoy being taken care of so completely by another human being--as a "baby," you don't have to talk, worry, make decisions, or do anything but be cared for and cuddled.

While some partners do incorporate sex into the AB play, others feel it is too "scary" or "wrong" to initiate sex into a relationship that is even pretending to have one partner be so young. It's all up to you and what your partner are comfortable with!

When I first got into BDSM, I was more drawn to the control and dominance aspects of scene play (humiliation, spanking, rape fantasies, name calling, etc.). But the more I get involved in the online fetish community, the more I realize that adult babies are a large part of those same communities. Mommies, Daddies, and babies aren't nearly as common as, say, a submissive girl to a male Dom, but they're out there all the same.

If you are interested in reading more about this fetish from the AB perspective, I highly, highly, highly recommend the blog Pampered Penny. Pampered Penny is a KinkySexLink blog contributor, as am I, and I found her writings this way. At first, I was confused and a little repulsed by the idea of an adult baby, but I've grown to love her blog. Penny is usually an AB or ALG (adult little girl) with her partner/Daddy, but she also plays the Mommy and babysitter. She has an adult job and sells videos and photos from her life as an AB. Penny writes in a fun, unique, bouncy way, and her blogs are very articulate and intelligently written. Plus, some of her stories are just plain hilarious! This one about the time she bought a $300 baby suit to surprise her Daddy had me laughing out loud!

If you still doubt that these adult babies (and their mommies and daddies) are out there, just take a look at our friend the world wide web. You can find adult baby furniture stores, adult baby clothing stores, adult baby communities, adult baby dating sites, and online collections of everything AB. Of course, you need to be 18 or older to view all these sites.

If you're interested in exploring the baby/parent dynamic, talk it out with your partner, be open, and let me know how it goes! :)

Bondage for Beginners

The great thing about ropes is that they tend to be pretty tame.



Sure, you might flip your new boyfriend out if you say, "Put a leash on me and make me bark like a dog!" or "Slap me hard." But no one's going to get really bent out of shape if you want to indulge in a little light bondage. Ropes, handcuffs, ties, scarves, sheets, and all sorts of fun bondage devices can be found around the house for some light bondage.



I'm not a fan of fuzzy handcuffs because I don't see BDSM as being "fuzzy." If BDSM were a shape, I think it'd have all sorts of hard angles and rough, steel lines. It'd be sexy, hot, hard, intimidating, maybe even painful and cold, but not fuzzy. At least, not for me. :)



But fuzzy handcuffs can be a good way to introduce a lover to light BDSM. So can any cheap handcuffs you buy or receive as a gag gift. But I have to warn you: if you want a light, giggly scene the pink fuzzies will be fine, but if you want a more intense scene, stay away from the fuzz!

Other great ideas for casual, painless bondage:

• sheets (great for tying limbs to beds!)
• ties
• scarves
• duct tape (tie it sticky side out and be prepared to use scissors to remove it)
• bondage rope (softer than regular rope = no rope burns!)
• handcuffs
• computer cords (unexpectedly strong)
• bandanas
• old sheets torn into strips (great recycling!)

Honestly, I adore being tied up. I don't want to be tied hard, or in an uncomfortable position, or so my limbs fall asleep, but a little light bondage is a fast way to get me excited for whatever is coming next. It makes my body hyper-aware of whatever sensations are happening, and makes me feel totally at my Dom's control.

If you want to introduce your partner to some sexy fun, try bondage!

Puppy Food for your Puppy

Puppy play is a really common fetish among some BDSMers. What many people don't realize when they are training they puppy, however, is that human puppies shouldn't eat real dog food. First off, dry dog food is too hard for human teeth to chew, and can damage your pet's teeth and gums. Also, dogs have completely different nutritional needs than humans, so using real dog food can upset your pet's digestive system.

But there are a few tricks if you want to feed your puppy from a doggie bowl!

Here are some foods you might want to try...

Chocolate. For the puppy with a sweet tooth, crumbled bits of chocolate in a doggie bowl are a tasty but visually "doggish" food. But if you have real pets, be careful not to leave it out, since chocolate is toxic to both cats and dogs!

Beans. Beans are the color and consistency of much wet dog food, so these are great for humiliation. Pour some refried beans into a dog bowl, or use any variety of canned or fresh beans--chili beans, kidney beans, or any type of brown bean will work.

Chili. This food looks almost exactly like dog food when you leave out the peppers and onions. Make a simple chili dish with just tomato paste, ground beef, and chili beans, and you have a mushy food ready to be poured into a bowl!

Porridge. Anything soft and soupy, such as porridge, oatmeal, or even cereal can be poured into a dog bowl and enjoyed as a puppy treat.

Ground Beef. Try a dish with a ground-beef base for an authentic look. Some suggestions include Hamburger helper dishes, noodles and beef, chili, Sloppy Joes, taco meat, or cut-up hamburgers. All these foods are easily edible for humans, but look like dog food.

Ribs or Legs. Throw your human puppy a cooked chicken leg or a baked rib and let him get dirty licking and comping the meat without his paws. Later, you can enjoy watching him knaw on the bone!

Of course, basically any food poured into a bowl can substitute as dog food, so you are only limited by your imagination!

For more tips on how to train a human into a pet, click here.

Genitorture

Genitorture.

May not sound fun, right? Yet the fetish of genital torture is often used in scenes. Whether you want to incorporate it into an interrogation scene, be the "Mean Domme" for once, or just hear your slave scream, some genitorture may be right for you.

Generally, just the phrase "genital torture" is going to get your sub's blood pumping and fear spiking. Genital torture is so popular because it inflicts pain on one of our most intimate, vulnerable places. The psychological aspect is also huge, since you are attacking a place of vulnerability and sexuality.

My advice is to start slowly. You don't want to cause too much pain to your sub, or bring on the pain too quickly. The best idea is to mix pain and pleasure. Of course, play with a safeword.

If your sub is a woman, consider a pussy whip or other light, stingy instrument. You don't want to use anything hard or thuddy on tender breasts or vulvas. A speculum is a great idea, since you can insert this into the vagina or anus and then widen the hole slowly. This is great both for visual humiliation and to keep the orfice held open while you torture it.

As for actual torture, consider using many clamps and clips of various sizes and materials. Plastic, wood, and metal clamps are all available... my Dom simply uses brightly-colored plastic clothes pins. Sometimes he pretends to close them and laughs at my reaction, other times he clamps them and watches me arch and moan, other times he clamps them and then squeezes them tighter with his fingers (ouch!), and sometimes he just leaves them on while I endure the pain. I've found on my nipples, these clamps are highly painful and make my breasts sore for days afterward, but they also heighten sensations of pleasure. On my clit, the clips don't hurt at all, but give a wonderful pressure that has been known to make me ejaculate with no other stimulation! My Dom will flick the clit clamp back and forth to enhance the sensation. And as an added bonus, our cats love them and use them as toys!

For more advance pussy torture, try light slapping and pussy whipping. Insert dildos and vibrators that are just a little bit too big. If you have a clit suction cup, use it on the labia and clitoris. Some people even use needles to pin the lips open or temporarily pierce the labia. Others clamp forceps on the inner lips and tie the forceps to a table, effectively splaying the inner lips.

Of course, as the Dom, you don't want to only provide your hapless sub with physical stimulation! As you torture her, talk to her. Describe what you are doing or going to do, chuckle sadistically to yourself, and exclaim over what you see and the pain you are inflicting. "I'm going to spread you with this speculum, my sweet.... ahhh, that hurts doesn't it??? Just a little more.... there, there, don't cry.... you look so deliciously HOT with your pussy spread open! And now I am going to stick this big, bad dildo in you til you cry for me to stop" is going to make your sub a lot hotter than if you cause all this pain in silence.

What if your sub is a boy? This type of genital torture is called Cock and Ball Torture, or CBT for short. There are lots of toys you can buy to help with CBT, such as cock restraints or weights you hang from the testicles. But you can still have lots of fun at home with no fancy store-bought toys.

Just like with women, you don't want to use heavy canes or paddles for CBT. Stick to a light slapper or single-tailed whip. This will cause lots of pain but no actual damage. Some brave souls even use catheters and insert all sorts of terrible things into a male sub's urethra (ouch!). Others paddle, punch, or strike the testicles. Some men enjoy ball-busting, which basically means you kick, punch, and stomp on his testicles. I don't understand it myself, but I've read accounts from men who said a Domme had them knocked on the ground in the fetal position, kicking and stomping on their balls with high-heeled shoes, and that they loved it!

If you want to keep it a little lighter, you can squeeze, knead, push, pull, massage, and slap the genital area. The mixture of pleasure and pain is sure to drive him crazy! You can also tie his balls up and pull on the string, or simply hang something heavy from them and gradually add to the weight.

When playing with genital torture, be safe! Play with safewords, discuss your activities beforehand, and have fun.

Chastity Belts + Lock = Evil Fun!

Chastity belts--available online and in kink/bondage stores--are just another way evil Doms can have kinky fun with their hapless subs! Chastity belts (built on the old-fashioned idea of chastity but made with newer and better technology!) come anywhere from $19-350, are available for both men and women, can be locked or not, and can be used for control play for one short scene or for months at a time.

Intrigued? Read on.

If you want to play with chastity, there are some benefits. The first and main one is control. This is just another way for the Dom to control the sub--sort of like bondage for the genitals! Teasing and torturing goes that much farther when the sub can't reach his or her genitals! Chastity is also a great idea for long-distance relationships or even when one of you is away for the weekend; this way you KNOW he isn't playing with himself when you're not around! You and only you have control over when and how your sub receives sexual pleasure.

Have a new chastity belt but not sure how to incorporate it into your play? Here is a new Scene Idea to tickle your fancy:

Lock your sub up in a chastity belt with a key. Keep the key in a safe, locked in your car, or somewhere else locked with a key. Set a certain amount of time, like a month (more or less, if you like) that your sub must wear the chastity belt. Every month, play this devious little game with your sub (we'll pretend he's male, but of course this will work with either sex!):

Lock him in his chastity cage and tell him he can try once for his freedom every month (or whatever). Be sure to tease him lots in between so his sexual arousal is high! When the time has come for him to try his monthly bid at genital freedom, give him this task to complete:

• Handcuff his ankles together. Handcuff his wrists and lock them to his collar. This way, he can only crawl on his elbows and knees.
• Tell him where you have hidden three keys: the first for his ankle cuffs, the second for his wrists, and the third to the safe or wherever you've locked the key to his chastity cage.
• Freeze the keys in a block of ice or other liquid.
• Set the three keys in a place where he will have to strain to get them, but it's possible. For example, put the first one in a doggie dish on the main floor. Put the second one up or down stairs (so he has to get his ankle cuffs removed before he can get there).
• Set a timer and tell him to go. Watch him scramble to get the keys and unmelt them in time!
• If he gets all three keys before the timer goes off, he has won and can use the final key to unlock his chastity cage. If he does not, he can try again next month.

Helpful tips:

• if you have a safe with a locked timer, that's even better. Set the safe to lock in 6 minutes and let him scramble to get there before the safe locks itself.
• freeze the key into something other than water: you can make frozen ice from soda, Koolaid, fruit juices, or even cum.
• for a fun twist, don't freeze the keys in anything, but don't tell him where you've hidden them. Enjoy watching him crawl frantically around the house.
• Hold the last key yourself, and rather than having it frozen so he has to melt it, make the last "task" that he must bring you to orgasm before he receives the key. Adjust the timer accordingly so he has a sporting chance.
• Be fair with the amount of time you give him and how possible it is to find and unmelt the keys: it should be difficult, but not impossible, for him to succeed.
• for long-term forced chastity, be sure to get a chastity cage that allows for good hygiene and easy washing through the cage.

Abduction + Rape Play

If you want to be ready for a rape play + abduction scene (that is, any rape play that does not take place in your own home!), a good idea is to prepare beforehand. The more planning and preparation goes into this, the smoother your scene will go. You can even have a to-go kit for later. Some people believe having a "Rape Play To-Go Kit" ruins the spontaneity, but your partner never even has to know it's there... you can keep it hidden in the trunk of your car, for example.
Many people have fantasies about doing rape play with an abduction element. This is because a new background and props can make it seem more real. Being "raped" by my husband in the comfort of your own bedroom is perfectly fine for me (I like the mental aspects of rape), but many other subs and Doms who rely more heavily on the physical aspects of scene to get into their roles need the location, setting, props, and overall "feel" to be more realistic. If you feel that "playing rape" just feels hollow and fake in your own bedroom, try setting the mood somewhere else: a bar, an alley (it's illegal to have sex in public, so make it private!), a hotel room, your car, or a deserted park or forest can work wonders for making the scene feel more real!

To make rape play even more realistic, many people enjoy setting it all up with an "abduction scene." Doms can surprise their subs at work, out shopping, in a parking lot, at a bar or club, at a party, or even at home. Kidnap them (making sure worried bystanders don't see and accidentally call the police on you!), bind and gag them, and force them into a car. If they don't know when or how this is happening, it makes it feel all the more realistic for them---just make sure you get consent sometime before.

One idea is to surprise the sub and force them into a car. A (blunt) knife or just physical force can make this feel scary and real, even if they know it is you. Bind and gag them, throw them into the backseat and cover them with a blanket, and drive them to an undisclosed location. The stranger the surroundings are to your sub, the scarier and more realistic it will be, so try to find a place far from home or where the sub has never been and won't recognize her surroundings. (This may be the only time you want to try a seedy hotel!)

If you don't want your sub to know it's you, you can always wear a ski mask. You can even "rape" your sub in your own home this way--I've found that, when the smell and feel of my lover is off, I can't recognize him at all at first. Your sub is going to know the way you feel, smell, breathe, and speak. You can throw her off by changing these things. For instance, shower with a completely different soap and shampoo, wear clothes that are new or have been laundered in a different laundry soap, and wear gloves to mask the feel of your skin. Wear an aftershave, cologne, or mouthwash completely different from what you'd normally ever wear. Slouch and try to walk faster or heavier than you normally do. If your sub can't see you (e.g. if you come in through a window, walk up behind her, and grab her), it is going to take her a while to recognize you. Why? We subconsciously know our lovers by their height, build, touch, and smell. A high school boyfriend of mine once came up behind me and grabbed me in a tight hug. He was wearing his friend's cologne and mouthspray at the time, and I was terrified. It took me several seconds (until he spoke) to figure out who had grabbed me. Until that moment, I never realized how much we subconsciously rely on smell and the sound of voice to recognize people! If you change your smell and feel, and keep from talking or being seen, you can terrifying your sub into real submission for several moments. Of course, eventually you want her to realize it's you, so you don't scar her emotionally and so she can utilize her safeword if she needs to.

Another idea some people use to make abduction and rape seem more real is to pretend to use date-rape drugs. I say pretend, because actual date rape drugs are illegal and therefore not moderated by any governmental regulations and highly dangerous. (I'm serious--common effects of date rape drugs include permanent infertility, coma, dangerously heightened or lowered blood pressure, nausea, slowed heart rate, dizziness, inability to speak, seizure, heart failure, and death.) However, you can pretend to get this effect by using sugar water on a cloth (to mimic chloroform) to make your victim "pass out," using tic-tacs or other pill-shaped candies, or whatever the two of you decide to make it "pretending" but still hot. You could also waking her up from deep sleep to get that groggy, out-of-it feeling. I have heard of people using drugs--from NyQuil to muscle relaxers to Ecstasy to alcohol to prescription sleep-inducing drugs. I will say, though, that it is illegal to use legal drugs for this purpose and illegal to use illegal drugs, period. You could go to jail for rape because all these drugs take away a person's ability or desire to think clearly and say no. You could also be convicted of murder if something goes wrong and your sub dies, leaving you pleading with a judge that the drugs, rape, and murder were "consensual."

More practically, how can your sub use a safeword or tell you when something is really wrong if she is not fully conscious? Also, before you try anything, you must do research on side effects, allergies, etc. If you simply must try these methods, do your research, have both of you sign a consent form, and think. Have a phone and first-aid kit handy. Learn how to do CPR. Any drugs that inhibit circulation (like alcohol!) should never be used with bondage or uncomfortable positions. Find out if any substances will react with pre-existing conditions your sub has (low blood pressure, heart problems, diabetes, etc.) and how they will react with medications your sub takes (herbs, vitamins, prescription meds, birth control, everything!) Honestly, it is dangerous to play with BDSM when one person is not capable of giving full consent, but before you try anything, you must do your research! In all, it is less work and safer to stick with pretending...

...Back to ideas for rape and abduction! :)

If you really want to freak out your sub, another idea is to have friends or coworkers she doesn't know kidnap her for you. (Get consent before---several months or weeks before, so she's not expecting it!) Of course, for this you need to have some seriously dedicated buddies who are understanding of your kink lifestyle. Make it very clear they are not to hurt her or sexually touch her in any way, and watch from afar to make sure she is safe. You can even be in the car once she is blindfolded; as long as you don't talk and your friends do, she will never know you're there.

Note: if you don't have any friends this close, or she would recognize their voices and scents, you can try having local BDSMers help you out. Make sure you work with people you trust.

Once your friends get her to the hotel room or abandoned woods or whatever, have them threateningly tell her they are going to strip her off and fuck her mercilessly. Then have them leave you to your wicked ways! As long as you don't speak or give yourself away, you can savagely rip off her clothes and rape her, even leaving and pretending to be many people. If your sub is blindfolded and tied, it will feel incredibly real to her!

Of course, if you are going to have your friends abduct your sub, be smart about it. Get her consent first, and write out that you are her husband, what you are doing and why, and sign it so your friends don't get arrested by some cop who misunderstands the situation.

To remember this event later, you can secretly put up a video camera so you and your sub can watch the whole thing later. Another good idea is to play loud, unfamiliar music or have some other noise (a tv, your friends in the other room talking loudly, a tape of your friends pretending to egg you on as you rape her, etc.) so she is less likely to recognize your breathing. If you are playing multiple people, use different scents, different textured clothes, handle her differently (as though you were multiple people getting off on her misery in different ways), use a condom, use different toys, and do different things to her (maybe one is an anal fiend, the other obsessed with her breasts, and another wants to rub his dick all over her before he fucks her). Changing gloves, having shirts of very different textures with different scents (sweat in one, leave some in different people's houses for a few weeks, spray them with different colognes, etc.), and changing gum or mouthwash between "characters" will make it seem real.

Of course, before you traumatize your sub, make sure she wants to be raped and get her consent. Find out what makes her turned on, and if this isn't it, don't do it!





If you want to try abducting her--whether it's as simple as you meeting her at a bar and telling her to get her ass in your car or a complex scenario involving props and other people--it is also a good idea to have a to-go kit ready.

Some ideas for a to-go kit that will make your sub's life easier when she gets to return to real life are listed below. Of course, if you just want her to ride home, bound and gagged in the backseat of your car, that's okay, too!



Abduction/Rape To-Go Kit for the Hapless Sub:

• any lingerie or slutty clothes you want to force them to wear during the scene




• extra change of comfy clothes: shirt, bra, panties, jeans, socks, sneakers




• hair brush and ponytail holder




• deodorant




• makeup




• toothbrush and toothpaste




• any medications your sub takes




• contact solution, contact holders, and glasses
  

Abduction/Rape To-Go Kit for the Wicked Dom(me):

• condoms (in different textures and brands if you are playing more than one character)\




• lube




• sex toys, if desired




• paddles, whips, and floggers, if desired




• rope or handcuffs




• duct tape




• blindfold




• gag




• first aid kit




• emergency first-aid scissors




• hotel reservations, if needed




• ski mask




• blanket for backseat of your car




• map to wherever you're going

Also, if you are going to put this much work and planning into a rape scene to make your sub's fantasies come true (go you!), take some time to think about what you want out of these scene. Do you want her to know it's you or not? Will you find it sexier if she struggles, screams, and runs, or if she goes limp and does not resist? If she is honestly terrified for her life, crying and pleading, is that going to turn you on or make you feel guilty and be a huge turn-off? Would you rather have a sub who fights and screams the whole time, one who eventually stops struggling and goes limp, or one whose body betrays her by getting wet and sticky even as you rape her?

Whatever it is you want and need out of this scene, you need to communicate with your sub to get it. It is highly unlikely your sub will just magically happen to respond the way you're dreaming she will. Some women fight, some scream, some go limp, and others urge you to fuck them harder. Whichever one you want, have some conversations with your sub beforehand. Mention rape fantasies and tell her what you find sexy about these scenes. Share your dreams and what happens in your personal fantasies: what is happening? how does your victim react? what does she do? Does she say anything in particular? This way, both you and your sub leave happy and fulfilled from the experience.

*Note: you must get consent beforehand for all rape play activities.

**Note: rape play is a type of BDSM activity where consenting adult partners agree to pretend to rape/be raped. This is completely different from actual rape, which is a crime, a sin, and morally reprehensible.

How to Shave a Pussy

Ladies, ever tried to do a Brazilian bikini wax, only to find the bumps, rashes, and itchiness "down under" weren't worth the smooth look? Gents, are you curious to feel your lady silky smooth, making it easier to view and taste her?

Learning how to shave the mound and lips can be a seriously tricky business--believe me! That's why I'm sharing with you Babeland's awesome how-to guide, "How to Shave a Pussy." For this and more great how-to guides, browse Babeland's site!

To incorporate shaving into your BDSM play, consider the following: Doms, make your sub shave pubic hair in a way that pleases you (this works for men as well as women). Give your sub directions on how you want it shaved: all parts of it, or trimmed in a certain style and length, or dyed, or all but a strip gone, or maybe with a unique design or your initials shaved into the hair? This can be fun for a non-permanent body marking, humiliation play, or simply the thrill of having your sub's body exactly the way you decree. Also, try this sexy tip--have your sub sit still and shave her (or him) yourself. I know my Dom and I tried this once, and I was shuddering from the vulnerability of being shaved, literally stripped bare, by him: he had me sit in the shower, spread legged, and he carefully and slowly shaved me. I got so aroused by the intimacy and humiliation of it I almost came! It was a really beautiful moment for me...

And so, without further ado, here is Babeland's feature article for this week, "How to Shave Your Pussy."

For many lovers, the sensual explosion of encountering a shaved pussy is irresistible. Sex stars often feature little or no pubic hair. However, many of us are left raw, chafed and itchy when trying to achieve this hairless look. So here are my shaving secrets that will enable you to look like a porno princess in your own panties.

Make the time. You'll never want to do this when you're in a rush. I like to perform these rituals while sitting on the edge of my tub in a well lit bathroom.

Warm up your pubes. Run the water in the tub at its hottest temperature to create steam. Steam helps to soften and relax the pubic hair and skin.

Trim the hair to about 1⁄4" away from the skin. Make a hot water compress out of a washcloth and snuggle your whole pubic mound with the cloth for two minutes.

Study the pattern of your hair growth with your fingertips. First shave with, then against, the grain. Shaving against the grain may get you a closer shave, but it can also cause irritation for some folks. If shaving against the grain causes bumps, then just go with the grain.

Make it slippery. To do the actual shaving, use a brand new razor and a shaving creme such as Coochy Rash Free Shaving Creme or Sliquid Smooth Shave Creme.
Ready to shave? Here are some tips:

With a light hand, start with the lower lips. Rinse the razor after each swipe, cleaning any hair that may get stuck in the razor.

Do not go over the same patch of skin more than twice or use aggressive pressure.

Next, shave the sides, being mindful of the valley created by the groin muscle.

Finally, shave the hair directly on top of the mound. This hair tends to be the thickest and coarsest, so you may use a little more pressure here.
Swab your pussy with warm water and examine for any stray hairs that may have been missed.

Being now hairless, blot your crotch with a soft, dry towel. It feels wonderful, doesn't it? For the finishing touch, either rub down gently with Babeland Lickable Oil to moisturize sensitive skin and delight the tongue, or depending on your preference, dust lightly with cornstarch or Babeland Lickable Dust; this absorbs any lingering moisture and gives it a nice silky finish.

As time goes on, with a little practice, you'll develop speed in your technique. Also the skin will get used to the razor, and likely there will be less irritation.

Soon this habit will become second nature to your bathing routine and maintenance will require little effort. Remember to always wear panties with a cotton panel to keep things clean and comfortable. I think you'll discover many lovely rewards in your new hairlessness. Enjoy!

Doing an Interrogation Scene Right

Mirriam-Webster's Online Dictionary defines "interrogation" as to question formally and systematically. Wikipedia goes a step farther and says an interrogation scene is a form of BDSM roleplay in which the participants act out the parts of torturer and victim.

So if you want to do your own interrogation scene, how do you start?

First, costumes can be fun, but are optional. You can get fun police officer costumes, for both males and females, online or at many Halloween stores. Ditto for handcuffs and hot accessories like hats, belts, fake guns, holsters, and boots. Other cool ideas are CIA agent, Nazi soldier, or anonymous masked man (masked woman?). All these are available online, just make sure you can use them again or it might be a waste of money. If you want cheap ideas that you can do with stuff you just have lying around the house, consider a ski mask and gloves. You can also incorporate fun props: tape, rope, bright lights, desk and chair, video camera, belt or paddle, needles (sterilize them first!!!) and any other sex toys/implements of torture you can come up with (a wooden hairbrush is actually one of the most painful torture methods used, and everyone has one of those lying around). Of course, if you're not that into costumes, a perfectly hot scene can be done without them: my Dom and I don't really like costumes or too many fake props all that much; for me, it feels hokey and too fake--I don't know why he doesn't like it, you'd have to ask him.



If you're playing the Dom for this scene, decide exactly what information you want to get. Make sure it's something your Sub knows that you don't. This can be as simple as having your Sub look through your music collection and memorize the name and artist of one song, or having them Google some obscure bit of information. If your sub has a good imagination, give them time to come up with an awesome fictional story about what naughty things they've done wrong (sex, drug trafficking, stealing, selling top-secret information to other governments). Be sure to give them time to come up with all the specifics, such as who they know, what happened and when, and names, places, and dates. This will give you lots of fun information to slowly torture or cajole out of them!



Would you rather get real information out of them? Force them to tell you their deepest, darkest fantasies, most humiliating moment, or secret fears (this wouldn't work for me, as my Dom knows them all anyway). Slowly drag out some real imformation like their bank account number and password. Or, have them take an object they don't want you to have and hide it from you. You shouldn't know what the object is or where to find it. You can have a hot time dragging it out of them! You could even give them a $20 to hide, and if they don't give up its location, they get to keep it! For the exceptionally evil, have your sub hide the sex toy or torture implement they most fear and hate you using on them (paddles, needles, whips, dildos...) If you get it out of them, their punishment is that you get to use it on them mercilessly. This will make your scene seem really, really real as your sub will be honestly not wanting to give the information you are trying to torture or bully out of them!


If you're too nervous or new at this to try getting real information, you can always just torture them for info they don't really have. For many people, that makes it even more frightening and realistic: they are terrified and honestly don't know what the torturer wants out of them. They don't have the information to give if they wanted to! Of course, the con of this situation is you don't really know when to stop until you get tired or they say the safeword.

Other kinky ideas I found browsing online: "Kidnap" your victim from work or the store. Grab them when they don't expect it and throw them in your car. Tie them up and drive them to your house, an abandoned parking lot or park, or other deserted area. Once there, tie them to the bed, hang their tied arms from a tree, or blindfold and gag them and handcuff them to a bench. (Just make sure the police don't think you're *really* doing something!)

At the end of the interrogation, have a big finish, like a mock execution.

Wear a mask that covers your face and play a role other than yourself. Refuse to say who you are, but as you torture and tease your victim, refer to yourself as "your husband," "your girlfriend," (or whatever you really are), or by your first name. This makes the victim feel they are at the hands of a merciless stranger, even while they feel safe knowing it's you. :)

Tie them to a chair, shine bright lights in their eyes, or do anything else to up the intensity of the whole scene. Be somewhere safe you can yell, hit them, whip them, or sexually accost them. Alternate between periods of intense "cruelty" and sweet, cajoling words (your own personal version of Good Cop/Bad Cop!).

One kinkster had an awesome idea: Everybody has something they don't want to say. I just start working on them, asking "What are you holding back? What haven't you told me? I know there's something in that brain of yours, tell me!"
Eventually some little hint slips out, and I follow that.

If you know another language, use that. Many people are completely turned on and at the same time terrified by someone shouting at them and torturing them for information they can't even understand. A lot of people seem really into German, I guess because it is harsher and meaner sounding???, but any foreign language will do. Of course, you must also pretend you don't understand any English or what they're trying to say!

For a unique twist on interrogation scenes, pick something yourself that your sub doesn't know about. As you yell and torture, keep telling them that this will all end as soon as they do the right thing. They will be scrambling and begging to try to figure it out, and you get lots of cool favors as they desperately search to do what you want! Of course, when they try the wrong thing, that gives you the perfect opportunity to push them away, start yelling again, and "punish" them!

Ending Notes
Of course, your interrogation scene can be as mild or as hot and wild as you want it to be. You can start with a very simple, costume-and-prop-free session in the safety of your bedroom while you sexually tease your partner into telling you something minor. Or you can do a full-blown scene with costumes, props, bright lights, and lots of real pain and torture, hitting, screaming, and biting, to induce your sub to a sobbing, begging mess who goes limp with gratitude when you stop beating for a moment. Remember: for many people, it's not getting the information that counts, but getting your sub to that level where they are completely helpless, vulnerable, and an emotional wreck--allowing you the power to make or break them!