12/19/2008

Begging

Begging is probably a pretty common fetish, although I don't have the numbers to prove it. Even vanilla people do it. In BDSM, begging can add some flavor to an already-hot scene. Many Doms and Dommes find real pleasure in being begged or pleaded with by their sub or slave. It is up to you to decide what type of begging you most enjoy, and how to get your sub to do it.

Begging can have many uses. For the Dom, it is a power trip. It gives him more control over his sub. It can also be highly erotic. For the sub, it can be a lesson: teaching her humility, showing her that her body is not hers and only her Dom has control over how much pleasure and pain she receives, or as a punishment. It can also be a very effective type of humiliation play and emotional humiliation. Of course, it can also be a turn-on.

Do you want your sub to beg? Decide what would turn you on the most. Is her body posture important to you, or just the words? Would you rather her be kneeling before you, lying on the floor with her head down prostrate before you, kneeling between your legs and kissing your feet or your balls, or standing in front of you with her hands crossed demurely and her eyes lowered? Do you want her to be handcuffed? Would you prefer if she is tied to an object or chained to your ankle or wrist?

As for the words, what do you want? Will you be satisfied if she begs once, or are you going to make her repeat the same humiliating phrase 20 times perfectly before she is released? What specifically do you want her to beg for (to orgasm, for sex, to stop hurting her, to spank her again please)? Do you want her to use curse words and vulgarity for added humiliation ("Please fuck my dirty cunt harder, Master. Please let your dirty cumslut cum, Sir.")? Do you want her to call you something specific (Daddy, Sir, Mr. [insert your last name here], Master, Sergeant, My Owner)? Also, do you want lots of pleases and thank yous, or will a simple request be enough?

Your sub can't just guess what you want. Ordering her, "Beg," is not going to tell her what you want. Be specific! "I want you to kneel before me, lick my boot, and repeat 'Please whip your servant, Sir' fifteen times before I will forgive you" is clear and specific; "Beg for me" is not. Read this article, think about what behaviors you want your sub to perform for your pleasure, and communicate that to her clearly. You may want to have different requirements for different situations, so be specific so she knows what you desire.

Do you want to show her that you have control over her body and decisions? Make her beg before she can do something she wants, like have sex, get oral sex, perform a blow job, or receive a spanking. You can require her to ask permission before speaking or moving: "Please, Sir, may I touch your cock? Sir, may I please jack you off? Master, may your servant get up to get you a condom?"

Do you want to teach a proud, headstrong sub humility? Then you have to humilate her! Make her use vulgar language or refer to herself as a dirty name every time she talks. Make her say please and thank you before and after every activity: whether she is receiving pain, performing something on you, or receiving pleasure. Make her assume a humiliating position, such as kneeling in front of you, kissing your foot, lying on the floor in front of you, spreading her legs for you, or kneeling beside you and licking your balls (or ass). Require her to do something for you every time she talks: (Licks your balls/boot/ass), Please don't hit me, Master. (Licks your balls/boot/ass), please, don't hit your dirty cum recepticle, Master. (Licks your balls/boot/ass), I'm a dirty, bad girl, Master; please forgive me."

If your sub is too headstrong to do this, you are probably going to have to fight her on this and train her gradually. You can seriously tell some subs what you want and they will do it. Others will sit back and say, "Ummm...hell no." For these, you have to break their will. Do something they hate, like leaving them tied up (don't leave them unattended, but check in on them regularly, just don't speak to them), ignoring them, beating them, hurting them, or shutting them in a closet. It depends on the sub and what is going to work for them. For example, I don't mind being shut in dark spaces, but I would hate to be tied in a painful position and left until I agreed to beg.

Do you want to use begging as a punishment? Make your sub beg for something she doesn't want. For example, if you are whipping her as a punishment, force her to ask for the spank before each one and thank you for the spank before each one. "Thank you, Mr. Jones. May I have another, please?" You can use many things as a punishment: make her beg to be spanked or hurt, beg to do something you know she doesn't like or finds humiliating (anally fingering you, giving you a blow job, spreading her legs), or beg to be punished and spanked. Even when she hates something, such as a spanking, and is already screaming and crying for you to stop, it can be a powerful mindfuck to force her to beg for the next stroke anyway. It is a wicked mind game, but it is fun for you and will break the sub!

Of course, you can combine these, as well. A fun combination of "punishment" and "humiliation" would be, "Please spank your dirty whore, Mr. Jones. Thank you, sir. Please punish your cumrag, Mr. Jones. Thank you. Please fucking hurt this dumb fuck, Mr. Jones. Thank you." And, to be really evil, you can add in a physical humiliation as well: make her kneel to say it, or make her lie down prostrate, or force her to do some humiliating action like crawling on her hands and knees. She will be crying and miserable by the end!

Some things you can make her beg for: permission to orgasm, to touch you, to service you, to please you, for a collar, for a sex toy, for a favorite activity, for a scene, for more play time, for rougher play, for you to cum, for attention, for the next strike, for the next spank, for you to mark her, for your cock, for you to use her pussy/mouth/ass, to be let out of punishment, to play longer, for forgiveness, for a rape scene, to hurt her, to let her use the restroom, to take off painful clamps, to stop genital torture, the list goes on...

Just in case inspiration still hasn't struck you, here are some good phrases to get those creative juices flowing!
  • "Please, Daddy, please let your bad little girl play with the whips."
  • "Mistress, will you allow your slave to lick your cum?"
  • "Please let me suck your dick, Master. Your slave needs to feel your hard dick in her mouth."
  • "May I speak freely, Ma'am?"
  • "Please spank me, Daddy. Thank you so much, Daddy."
  • "Please let your cuntwhore cum, please, please Master!" "Do you deserve it?" "No, Master, no, I don't deserve it! I'm a bad, bad slut!" "That's right, bitch."
  • "Master, may your girl cum for you, please?"
  • "Please hit me harder, Sir. Thank you. Please hit me again, sir. Thank you."
  • "What do you want right now?" "I need to cum!" "Beg for it."
  • "Kneel in front of me, kiss my dick, and beg for forgiveness until I tell you to stop."
  • "For every second of my time that you have wasted, you will lie on the floor in front of me, chained to the door, and beg me to take you back. That's 120 seconds. And you'd better call me Mommy every time you do it!"

Resources:

http://fetlife.com

http://www.leathernroses.com/generalbdsm/ravenbegging

2 comments:

sabinatgurl said...

This is a wonderful posting and I should remind your readers that begging is an important part of a lot of tran-gender, trans-sexual, gender-blurring erotic activity. While I am more often the submissive girl (a 'girl by choice,' as I like to say) in a relationship, I also have quite a few relationships where the man wants to be humiliated to the point where he begs.

What often works is progressive public humiliation of the wannabe submissive, my fave is a kind of progressive sissification by way of a shopping trip. We start out walking through lingerie stores where I casually - and loudly - suggest this or that would look wonderful with one of his party dresses or stopping by the makeup counter where I ask the salesgirl to help me figure out some new shades for his 'glamour' look. As the day progresses and he is forced to wear things from breast forms to not-quite-androgynous blouses and slacks - the lewdness of my comments (and the deepness of his blushing) increase. By the end of the day, there's LOTS of begging.

Anonymous said...

I found this site using [url=http://google.com]google.com[/url] And i want to thank you for your work. You have done really very good site. Great work, great site! Thank you!

Sorry for offtopic