There are few things as raw and powerful as him taking you firmly by the hips and saying, "I own you" as he penetrates you.
The rush of emotion is divine. Subspace pulls me in. I feel like weeping. I am conquered, controlled, loved, and captivated.
The words are powerful. "I own you."
And so I feel owned.
Showing posts with label Dirty Talk. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dirty Talk. Show all posts
2/16/2015
12/19/2008
Begging
Begging is probably a pretty common fetish, although I don't have the numbers to prove it. Even vanilla people do it. In BDSM, begging can add some flavor to an already-hot scene. Many Doms and Dommes find real pleasure in being begged or pleaded with by their sub or slave. It is up to you to decide what type of begging you most enjoy, and how to get your sub to do it.
Begging can have many uses. For the Dom, it is a power trip. It gives him more control over his sub. It can also be highly erotic. For the sub, it can be a lesson: teaching her humility, showing her that her body is not hers and only her Dom has control over how much pleasure and pain she receives, or as a punishment. It can also be a very effective type of humiliation play and emotional humiliation. Of course, it can also be a turn-on.
Do you want your sub to beg? Decide what would turn you on the most. Is her body posture important to you, or just the words? Would you rather her be kneeling before you, lying on the floor with her head down prostrate before you, kneeling between your legs and kissing your feet or your balls, or standing in front of you with her hands crossed demurely and her eyes lowered? Do you want her to be handcuffed? Would you prefer if she is tied to an object or chained to your ankle or wrist?
As for the words, what do you want? Will you be satisfied if she begs once, or are you going to make her repeat the same humiliating phrase 20 times perfectly before she is released? What specifically do you want her to beg for (to orgasm, for sex, to stop hurting her, to spank her again please)? Do you want her to use curse words and vulgarity for added humiliation ("Please fuck my dirty cunt harder, Master. Please let your dirty cumslut cum, Sir.")? Do you want her to call you something specific (Daddy, Sir, Mr. [insert your last name here], Master, Sergeant, My Owner)? Also, do you want lots of pleases and thank yous, or will a simple request be enough?
Your sub can't just guess what you want. Ordering her, "Beg," is not going to tell her what you want. Be specific! "I want you to kneel before me, lick my boot, and repeat 'Please whip your servant, Sir' fifteen times before I will forgive you" is clear and specific; "Beg for me" is not. Read this article, think about what behaviors you want your sub to perform for your pleasure, and communicate that to her clearly. You may want to have different requirements for different situations, so be specific so she knows what you desire.
Do you want to show her that you have control over her body and decisions? Make her beg before she can do something she wants, like have sex, get oral sex, perform a blow job, or receive a spanking. You can require her to ask permission before speaking or moving: "Please, Sir, may I touch your cock? Sir, may I please jack you off? Master, may your servant get up to get you a condom?"
Do you want to teach a proud, headstrong sub humility? Then you have to humilate her! Make her use vulgar language or refer to herself as a dirty name every time she talks. Make her say please and thank you before and after every activity: whether she is receiving pain, performing something on you, or receiving pleasure. Make her assume a humiliating position, such as kneeling in front of you, kissing your foot, lying on the floor in front of you, spreading her legs for you, or kneeling beside you and licking your balls (or ass). Require her to do something for you every time she talks: (Licks your balls/boot/ass), Please don't hit me, Master. (Licks your balls/boot/ass), please, don't hit your dirty cum recepticle, Master. (Licks your balls/boot/ass), I'm a dirty, bad girl, Master; please forgive me."
If your sub is too headstrong to do this, you are probably going to have to fight her on this and train her gradually. You can seriously tell some subs what you want and they will do it. Others will sit back and say, "Ummm...hell no." For these, you have to break their will. Do something they hate, like leaving them tied up (don't leave them unattended, but check in on them regularly, just don't speak to them), ignoring them, beating them, hurting them, or shutting them in a closet. It depends on the sub and what is going to work for them. For example, I don't mind being shut in dark spaces, but I would hate to be tied in a painful position and left until I agreed to beg.
Do you want to use begging as a punishment? Make your sub beg for something she doesn't want. For example, if you are whipping her as a punishment, force her to ask for the spank before each one and thank you for the spank before each one. "Thank you, Mr. Jones. May I have another, please?" You can use many things as a punishment: make her beg to be spanked or hurt, beg to do something you know she doesn't like or finds humiliating (anally fingering you, giving you a blow job, spreading her legs), or beg to be punished and spanked. Even when she hates something, such as a spanking, and is already screaming and crying for you to stop, it can be a powerful mindfuck to force her to beg for the next stroke anyway. It is a wicked mind game, but it is fun for you and will break the sub!
Of course, you can combine these, as well. A fun combination of "punishment" and "humiliation" would be, "Please spank your dirty whore, Mr. Jones. Thank you, sir. Please punish your cumrag, Mr. Jones. Thank you. Please fucking hurt this dumb fuck, Mr. Jones. Thank you." And, to be really evil, you can add in a physical humiliation as well: make her kneel to say it, or make her lie down prostrate, or force her to do some humiliating action like crawling on her hands and knees. She will be crying and miserable by the end!
Some things you can make her beg for: permission to orgasm, to touch you, to service you, to please you, for a collar, for a sex toy, for a favorite activity, for a scene, for more play time, for rougher play, for you to cum, for attention, for the next strike, for the next spank, for you to mark her, for your cock, for you to use her pussy/mouth/ass, to be let out of punishment, to play longer, for forgiveness, for a rape scene, to hurt her, to let her use the restroom, to take off painful clamps, to stop genital torture, the list goes on...
Just in case inspiration still hasn't struck you, here are some good phrases to get those creative juices flowing!
Begging can have many uses. For the Dom, it is a power trip. It gives him more control over his sub. It can also be highly erotic. For the sub, it can be a lesson: teaching her humility, showing her that her body is not hers and only her Dom has control over how much pleasure and pain she receives, or as a punishment. It can also be a very effective type of humiliation play and emotional humiliation. Of course, it can also be a turn-on.
Do you want your sub to beg? Decide what would turn you on the most. Is her body posture important to you, or just the words? Would you rather her be kneeling before you, lying on the floor with her head down prostrate before you, kneeling between your legs and kissing your feet or your balls, or standing in front of you with her hands crossed demurely and her eyes lowered? Do you want her to be handcuffed? Would you prefer if she is tied to an object or chained to your ankle or wrist?
As for the words, what do you want? Will you be satisfied if she begs once, or are you going to make her repeat the same humiliating phrase 20 times perfectly before she is released? What specifically do you want her to beg for (to orgasm, for sex, to stop hurting her, to spank her again please)? Do you want her to use curse words and vulgarity for added humiliation ("Please fuck my dirty cunt harder, Master. Please let your dirty cumslut cum, Sir.")? Do you want her to call you something specific (Daddy, Sir, Mr. [insert your last name here], Master, Sergeant, My Owner)? Also, do you want lots of pleases and thank yous, or will a simple request be enough?
Your sub can't just guess what you want. Ordering her, "Beg," is not going to tell her what you want. Be specific! "I want you to kneel before me, lick my boot, and repeat 'Please whip your servant, Sir' fifteen times before I will forgive you" is clear and specific; "Beg for me" is not. Read this article, think about what behaviors you want your sub to perform for your pleasure, and communicate that to her clearly. You may want to have different requirements for different situations, so be specific so she knows what you desire.
Do you want to show her that you have control over her body and decisions? Make her beg before she can do something she wants, like have sex, get oral sex, perform a blow job, or receive a spanking. You can require her to ask permission before speaking or moving: "Please, Sir, may I touch your cock? Sir, may I please jack you off? Master, may your servant get up to get you a condom?"
Do you want to teach a proud, headstrong sub humility? Then you have to humilate her! Make her use vulgar language or refer to herself as a dirty name every time she talks. Make her say please and thank you before and after every activity: whether she is receiving pain, performing something on you, or receiving pleasure. Make her assume a humiliating position, such as kneeling in front of you, kissing your foot, lying on the floor in front of you, spreading her legs for you, or kneeling beside you and licking your balls (or ass). Require her to do something for you every time she talks: (Licks your balls/boot/ass), Please don't hit me, Master. (Licks your balls/boot/ass), please, don't hit your dirty cum recepticle, Master. (Licks your balls/boot/ass), I'm a dirty, bad girl, Master; please forgive me."
If your sub is too headstrong to do this, you are probably going to have to fight her on this and train her gradually. You can seriously tell some subs what you want and they will do it. Others will sit back and say, "Ummm...hell no." For these, you have to break their will. Do something they hate, like leaving them tied up (don't leave them unattended, but check in on them regularly, just don't speak to them), ignoring them, beating them, hurting them, or shutting them in a closet. It depends on the sub and what is going to work for them. For example, I don't mind being shut in dark spaces, but I would hate to be tied in a painful position and left until I agreed to beg.
Do you want to use begging as a punishment? Make your sub beg for something she doesn't want. For example, if you are whipping her as a punishment, force her to ask for the spank before each one and thank you for the spank before each one. "Thank you, Mr. Jones. May I have another, please?" You can use many things as a punishment: make her beg to be spanked or hurt, beg to do something you know she doesn't like or finds humiliating (anally fingering you, giving you a blow job, spreading her legs), or beg to be punished and spanked. Even when she hates something, such as a spanking, and is already screaming and crying for you to stop, it can be a powerful mindfuck to force her to beg for the next stroke anyway. It is a wicked mind game, but it is fun for you and will break the sub!
Of course, you can combine these, as well. A fun combination of "punishment" and "humiliation" would be, "Please spank your dirty whore, Mr. Jones. Thank you, sir. Please punish your cumrag, Mr. Jones. Thank you. Please fucking hurt this dumb fuck, Mr. Jones. Thank you." And, to be really evil, you can add in a physical humiliation as well: make her kneel to say it, or make her lie down prostrate, or force her to do some humiliating action like crawling on her hands and knees. She will be crying and miserable by the end!
Some things you can make her beg for: permission to orgasm, to touch you, to service you, to please you, for a collar, for a sex toy, for a favorite activity, for a scene, for more play time, for rougher play, for you to cum, for attention, for the next strike, for the next spank, for you to mark her, for your cock, for you to use her pussy/mouth/ass, to be let out of punishment, to play longer, for forgiveness, for a rape scene, to hurt her, to let her use the restroom, to take off painful clamps, to stop genital torture, the list goes on...
Just in case inspiration still hasn't struck you, here are some good phrases to get those creative juices flowing!
- "Please, Daddy, please let your bad little girl play with the whips."
- "Mistress, will you allow your slave to lick your cum?"
- "Please let me suck your dick, Master. Your slave needs to feel your hard dick in her mouth."
- "May I speak freely, Ma'am?"
- "Please spank me, Daddy. Thank you so much, Daddy."
- "Please let your cuntwhore cum, please, please Master!" "Do you deserve it?" "No, Master, no, I don't deserve it! I'm a bad, bad slut!" "That's right, bitch."
- "Master, may your girl cum for you, please?"
- "Please hit me harder, Sir. Thank you. Please hit me again, sir. Thank you."
- "What do you want right now?" "I need to cum!" "Beg for it."
- "Kneel in front of me, kiss my dick, and beg for forgiveness until I tell you to stop."
- "For every second of my time that you have wasted, you will lie on the floor in front of me, chained to the door, and beg me to take you back. That's 120 seconds. And you'd better call me Mommy every time you do it!"
Resources:
12/18/2008
The Art of Phone Sex
Phone sex is a hot and wild way to love your partner from afar. During the course of your relationship there will be times when you can't be together. One of you will be on a business trip, at a conference, or visiting sick relatives. These separations don't prevent your ability to be intimate; in fact, they can be a great exercise in love! The idea may sound hokey or strange to you, but if you quit judging it and give it a try. You could be greatly rewarded!
This being said, what makes for good phone sex? I believe it takes a close partner that is not only willing, but creative. They also have to know your turn on/offs and how to build you up.
In the beginning your partner should build you up slowly. The conversation turns sexy and turns you on. Great! Take full use of this by taking it a step further. Ask questions like, "Does it excite you thinking about this?" or "How do you feel when I do this?" Then follow with questions that make them consider touching themselves. Once they are comfortable with this, tell them to start touching. It doesn't have to be direct stimulation, but start slow with a caress on the tummy or arms. Work your way in to the erogenous zones of the body: shoulders, armpits, thighs, or butt.
Give them boundaries, too! Discipline is a very sexy aspect of phone sex! Instruct you partner on where they are able and not able to explore with their hands. Let them desire this and build up tension inside before you give them permission.
During all this fill their head with images of things you would like to do to them or have them do to you. This is instance where learning how to talk dirty is handy! You will provide tension for the body and the mind. Concentrate on their biggest fantasies, driving them closer and closer to an orgasm. Use repetition and make some noise yourself! You partner could use their own cheering section! Guide them slowly to an orgasm. Let them come and pick them back up again.
Have some time afterward to talk and bond before you hang up the phone. Phone sex is a great way to show someone how much you love them while they are away. It is very rewarding and a great addition to any sexual repertoire.
Some great phrases for phone sex are:
This being said, what makes for good phone sex? I believe it takes a close partner that is not only willing, but creative. They also have to know your turn on/offs and how to build you up.
In the beginning your partner should build you up slowly. The conversation turns sexy and turns you on. Great! Take full use of this by taking it a step further. Ask questions like, "Does it excite you thinking about this?" or "How do you feel when I do this?" Then follow with questions that make them consider touching themselves. Once they are comfortable with this, tell them to start touching. It doesn't have to be direct stimulation, but start slow with a caress on the tummy or arms. Work your way in to the erogenous zones of the body: shoulders, armpits, thighs, or butt.
Give them boundaries, too! Discipline is a very sexy aspect of phone sex! Instruct you partner on where they are able and not able to explore with their hands. Let them desire this and build up tension inside before you give them permission.
During all this fill their head with images of things you would like to do to them or have them do to you. This is instance where learning how to talk dirty is handy! You will provide tension for the body and the mind. Concentrate on their biggest fantasies, driving them closer and closer to an orgasm. Use repetition and make some noise yourself! You partner could use their own cheering section! Guide them slowly to an orgasm. Let them come and pick them back up again.
Have some time afterward to talk and bond before you hang up the phone. Phone sex is a great way to show someone how much you love them while they are away. It is very rewarding and a great addition to any sexual repertoire.
Some great phrases for phone sex are:
- Yeah, you like when I talk to you like that, don't you?
- You're such a good, sexy little bitch.
- Mmm, grab that cock for me. I want your hard cock in my hand right now.
- Baby girl, you're such a good little slut. You make Daddy happy, you know that?
- Do it harder. Harder!
- Touch yourself slowly. Are you imagining it's me? Tell me what you feel.
- Ask my permission before you come.
- I wish I could hold you down and slap you right now. You sound so turned on!
- Mmm, I love to hear your noises. You're soooo hot right now.
- Imagine spreading my ass cheeks open and jamming that hard dick up my ass.
The point is to be creative and graphic. You can't be there in person, so you have to make up for that in lots of talking and moaning that you wouldn't normally do. It's okay--and better--if you get turned on talking to your partner! The more turned on your voice is, the better it will be for them. Try bringing each other to orgasm together, or separately so you can enjoy the conversation. Try commanding your girl to use a vibrator or dildo on the phone with you. Make her ask permission before she takes off each layer of clothing or touches herself. This is a great way to combine BDSM with phone sex.
Enjoy!
11/21/2008
Dirty Talk 201: Foreign Languages
Warning: Adult language included.
This is Part 2 of a continuing commentary on dirty talk in the bedroom. For Part 1, click on Dirty Talk 101.
I mentioned in my previous blog on Dirty Talk that a great idea for sexy talk outside the bedroom, in public, at a party, etc. is using a foreign language. This is deliciously naughty because no one else knows what you're saying! It's a great way to get your spouse revved up and ready to head straight home to bed! I know some of my sweetest memories are when my Dom leaned over in the mall dressing room, handed me the next set of clothes, and whispered, "Who's my hot little Schlampe?" I was blushing and grinning to myself in the dressing room the whole time.
I speak Spanish, and in the past I was always terribly disappointed when my boyfriends weren't interested in a steamy make-out session where I spoke to them in Spanish. I had one boyfriend who spoke French, and he could get me so hot and bothered without ever touching me it was ridiculous. My dom speaks German, and while Spanish and German just lack the beautiful, soothing, sexy sound of some dirty French, it can still be hot. Sometimes. Mostly it just annoys the crap out of me because I've gotten uptight in my old age and it bugs me to not know what he's saying. Ah well.
So if you don't fluently speak another language, I can't teach you in a blog, but I can give you a few words to pick. Use the ones you like!
French
Spanish
German
Russian
This is Part 2 of a continuing commentary on dirty talk in the bedroom. For Part 1, click on Dirty Talk 101.
I mentioned in my previous blog on Dirty Talk that a great idea for sexy talk outside the bedroom, in public, at a party, etc. is using a foreign language. This is deliciously naughty because no one else knows what you're saying! It's a great way to get your spouse revved up and ready to head straight home to bed! I know some of my sweetest memories are when my Dom leaned over in the mall dressing room, handed me the next set of clothes, and whispered, "Who's my hot little Schlampe?" I was blushing and grinning to myself in the dressing room the whole time.
I speak Spanish, and in the past I was always terribly disappointed when my boyfriends weren't interested in a steamy make-out session where I spoke to them in Spanish. I had one boyfriend who spoke French, and he could get me so hot and bothered without ever touching me it was ridiculous. My dom speaks German, and while Spanish and German just lack the beautiful, soothing, sexy sound of some dirty French, it can still be hot. Sometimes. Mostly it just annoys the crap out of me because I've gotten uptight in my old age and it bugs me to not know what he's saying. Ah well.
So if you don't fluently speak another language, I can't teach you in a blog, but I can give you a few words to pick. Use the ones you like!
French
- ma plotte = my cunt
- ma salope = my slut
- puttain = bitch
- J'arrive! = I'm coming
- Je veux joir dans ton corp = I want to come inside your body.
- Je t'aime = I love you
Spanish
- puta = slut, bitch
- Chinga = Fuck!
- Chingame = Fuck me
- Chupame, mi bella putita = Suck me, my beautiful little bitch
- Ponme los dedos, AHORA = Put your fingers inside me, NOW
- Mas fuerte = Harder
- Muerdame = Bite me.
- Te quiero, te amo = I love you.
- Te deseo = I want you.
German
- meine dreckige Schlampe = my dirty slut
- Du dreckiger Schlampe! WEG. = You dirty slut, go AWAY!
- Dann, sich öffnest dein dreckige Schnauze. = There, open your dirty mouth.
Russian
- suka = bitch
- (also cyka = bitch?)
- kurwa = bitch
- chuj, kutas = dick
- pierdol się = fuck you!
- Vaffanculo = fuck you, fuck off!
- el mio Cazzo = my dick, cock
- Frocio = faggot (pronounced "fro-chi-o)
- oppai = boobies
- manko = pussy
My Resources:
Thanks to the folks at Fetlife for their discussions!
To Yahoo! Answers!
And to my friends and teachers!
11/19/2008
11/10/2008
A Lesson in Dirty Talk
(Warning: Blog contains derogatory language!)
As the Master or Dom, I feel dirty talk plays a vital role in setting the mood. I know this may appear to be a cliché topic, however I feel most people do not explore this avenue far enough. Right now you may get away with calling your lady by her favorite, dirty nickname. You should know if she's okay with this, she may want to hear a little more out of you. It is perfectly fine to push this envelope. They will probably enjoy your assertiveness, even if your partner isn't into pain or binding. My goal today is to help you find a way to turn on the Sub through a little humiliation and the greater exercise of your control. Trust me, they will appreciate your efforts.
The best guidance I can give is this; be descriptive! You can use common words all day long like tramp or slut. They may work for your purposes. I would suggest dressing these words up with a few adjectives. Just try using words like easy, hot, or wet in front of your standby favorites. This will create a sharp contrast from what the Sub is used to hearing and will cause them to feel more dirty, which equals them feeling more turned on. Lucky you! Now you sound like a creative and controlling Dom!
In the heat of the moment it is often difficult to come up with dirty names for your cute, little Sub. This considered, I made a list of dirty adjectives to help you more on your journey to hot, wild bedroom talk. Enjoy them!
Adjectives
Easy
-Eating (this should be preceded by a noun. Further examples of this will be denoted with an *)
Fast
Hot
Lewd
Libertine (if you're feeling Victorian)
-Licking (*)
Loose
-Loving (*)
Lusty
Slutty
-Teasing (*)
Tight
Wet
Wanton
-Worshiping (*)
Controlling your Sub is not limited to name calling! Be sure you describe what you are doing to your slave every step of the way. Do not pass this off as being completely obvious, it works. Try being a little descriptive like I mentioned. After you do this be sure to act a little incredulous when they let you get what you want. A simple, “I can't believe you're letting me do this. You're so nasty!” or “I didn't think you wanted it!” All that is left is more of the same and listening to your servant pant.
I mentioned earlier dirty talk will lead your Sub to feel humiliation. It is imperative you use this feeling to your advantage. The goal is not to insult your partner, but to break them down. It is the same technique a drill instructor would use on recruits during boot camp. Once your partner has “broken down” in the bedroom, they are under your complete control. The total control of another during sex is state I find to be exhilarating. The Sub likes the feeling of having no control and being at the bidding of someone they trust and love. It allows them a worry-free state, where they are able to relax and take whatever you as the Dom dish out.
Good luck, have fun, and stay safe!
As the Master or Dom, I feel dirty talk plays a vital role in setting the mood. I know this may appear to be a cliché topic, however I feel most people do not explore this avenue far enough. Right now you may get away with calling your lady by her favorite, dirty nickname. You should know if she's okay with this, she may want to hear a little more out of you. It is perfectly fine to push this envelope. They will probably enjoy your assertiveness, even if your partner isn't into pain or binding. My goal today is to help you find a way to turn on the Sub through a little humiliation and the greater exercise of your control. Trust me, they will appreciate your efforts.
The best guidance I can give is this; be descriptive! You can use common words all day long like tramp or slut. They may work for your purposes. I would suggest dressing these words up with a few adjectives. Just try using words like easy, hot, or wet in front of your standby favorites. This will create a sharp contrast from what the Sub is used to hearing and will cause them to feel more dirty, which equals them feeling more turned on. Lucky you! Now you sound like a creative and controlling Dom!
In the heat of the moment it is often difficult to come up with dirty names for your cute, little Sub. This considered, I made a list of dirty adjectives to help you more on your journey to hot, wild bedroom talk. Enjoy them!
Adjectives
Easy
-Eating (this should be preceded by a noun. Further examples of this will be denoted with an *)
Fast
Hot
Lewd
Libertine (if you're feeling Victorian)
-Licking (*)
Loose
-Loving (*)
Lusty
Slutty
-Teasing (*)
Tight
Wet
Wanton
-Worshiping (*)
Controlling your Sub is not limited to name calling! Be sure you describe what you are doing to your slave every step of the way. Do not pass this off as being completely obvious, it works. Try being a little descriptive like I mentioned. After you do this be sure to act a little incredulous when they let you get what you want. A simple, “I can't believe you're letting me do this. You're so nasty!” or “I didn't think you wanted it!” All that is left is more of the same and listening to your servant pant.
I mentioned earlier dirty talk will lead your Sub to feel humiliation. It is imperative you use this feeling to your advantage. The goal is not to insult your partner, but to break them down. It is the same technique a drill instructor would use on recruits during boot camp. Once your partner has “broken down” in the bedroom, they are under your complete control. The total control of another during sex is state I find to be exhilarating. The Sub likes the feeling of having no control and being at the bidding of someone they trust and love. It allows them a worry-free state, where they are able to relax and take whatever you as the Dom dish out.
Good luck, have fun, and stay safe!
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