The Triple-Header is what I call that crowning achievement of male prowess in the bedroom. It's a little graphic, so head on over to some of my tamer how-tos if that's not what you're in to.
So here's the triple header.
Base 1: He makes you come with his finger. The more the better. Until you're panting for him to stop. No mercy, men.
Base 2: He makes you come with his cock. Either G-spot or clit counts.
Base 3: He makes you come with his cock in your ass. Hits the G-spot from behind, and total domination points.
Win/win.
If that's what you're in to.
Showing posts with label anal play. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anal play. Show all posts
3/18/2015
5/27/2010
Review: The B-Bomb Anal Plug
I always like Good Vibrations' products because they are high quality and I know my money is going to a sex-friendly, very positive and open sex store--somewhere I don't feel sleazy ordering from their website. A few months ago, they sent me the B-Bomb Butt Plug, but with all the house remodeling and things being moved around so much, it just disappeared.
So I was pretty happy last week when my husband started looking through the top of the closet and found the toy. Whew!
Of course, we tried it out. It was a fun scene. Instead of warming me up with anal beads (which are smaller than plugs), my Dom just went right into the plug. I was sooo nervous! But really, I didn't have to worry about it. He used lube and went slowly. I kept getting really tense, but he just kept his hand on my back and kept telling me in a soothing voice to relax, and he was right---it didn't hurt. This plug went in easily and slipped out easily, which is one of the great things about silicone. The material is so soft and rubbery, I'd highly recommend it for any beginners to anal play.
Of course, the B-Bomb has a tapered end, like all anal toys should, to avoid the dangerous situation of toys getting stuck inside you. (Awkward trip to the emergency room, anyone?) It's 4 inches long and under 1.5 inches at the widest part, so I feel safe recommending this for beginners to anal play who feel intimidated by something bigger.
What makes the B-Bomb unique among the anal toys I've tried is that it comes with a bullet vibrator. For people who enjoy a little bit of anal vibration, this is a good feature. I found the vibration light, not too strong or intense. Still, while I can enjoy some anal play, I'm not a fan of vibrating in my bum... so this was an easy fix, and we just switched it off. The B-Bomb is a cool toy because it can be used as a vibrating anal toy or just a regular butt plug, whichever you prefer.
Good Vibrations is currently having a promotion where you get 10% off all safer sex products. You should also check out their cool account feature where you can create a personalized "wish list" of all the toys you'd like but can't afford right now or are out of stock. I've used this feature before, and it makes it easy to remember exactly what I wanted when I come back three months later and can't remember a toy's name. The company will also send you a courtesy email to let you know when your listed products come back in stock or go on sale.
1/05/2009
Review: Intro Anal Beads and Copper Swirl Anal Plug
This week, I was thrilled to receive a late Christmas package in the mail: my first anal toy experience, anal beads and a beginner's-size butt plug from The Adult Toy Shoppe! I quickly opened my package, locked the door, and began to experiment. Since I am an anal-toy beginner, this guide will help potential anal fiends begin to explore two of the most common types of anal sex toys: beads and plugs.
Most of us, even the most sheltered, have seen anal beads in comedy movies or heard about them from friends. Rumor has it pulling the beads out is supposed to intensify orgasms, which sounds fun, so the first thing I tried were the Intro Anal Beads ($7.99 at Adult Toy Shoppe).
The beads are small and perfect for beginners. They are also made of slick jelly material, not plastic, making them slide in and out easier. Another plus is they come on a bendable strand, making them easier to insert than the more traditional plastic-beads-on-a-string approach. Overall, I would definitely recommend this for beginners. The strand of beads was smaller than I expected (whew!) so I was much relieved. In fact, the smallest bead is about the size of a pea, and even the largest on the graduated strand is smaller than average human feces---so there are no worries about something going in or out of your bum that won't comfortably fit! If you are a beginner, I think these beads are a great choice for you.
The rule with anal is to always, always, always use lube--and never desensitizing or numbing lube--but I tried it first without lube, just to see. As expected, even the smallest beads were hard to get in, and even when relaxing and going slowly, I couldn't put it in past the first few beads. The moral of this story? Use lubricant. Once I lubed up, things went easier. I was glad for the small, unintimidating size since I was still having trouble wrapping my brain around the idea of sticking a foreign object up my butt; I kept tensing up and having to force myself to relax and breathe in. At first, I was unsure how to use the bendable strand (should I stick it in straight? bent? would it bend naturally to my body? I am not that familiar with human anatomy) but as I went slowly, slipping it out and then more and more in gradually, I got the hang of it. I did find it was easier to insert them when I was lying on my back, using a mirror, than when I was kneeling on all fours. I eventually got all the beads in without pain or discomfort, and it was a very unique feeling inside!
I tried several different techniques for reviewing purposes. First, I know in BDSM many Doms are interested in forcing their subs to wear anal beads out in public, sometimes even all day, and I wasn't sure how that would work. But once they were all the way in, I was pleasantly surprised to find I could easily stand, walk, and sit in them without discomfort. The circled grip, made of soft, bendable jelly, fit comfortably between my cheeks, so I could sit without problem. Inside, I could feel the beads and they felt perfectly comfortable, just like having in a tampon. But one word of warning if you are a sub whose Dom wants you to try this: walking was normally fine, but at times without warning I would losen up and the beads would start to slip out! If you play with forced anal beads in public, plan to make emergency dashes to the restroom if needed.
What goes up must come down, and this was no exception. I did not really like the feeling of the beads coming out when I pulled quickly--the answer to this is lube, lube, lube, lube. You can do damage to sensitive tissues if you rip the beads out without enough lube, and in my case it did kind of hurt. However, I found pulling them out verrrry slowly, one bead popping out at a time, felt nice and very sexy for me, so to each her own.
I can almost hear the gasps now: "But how do you do anal play without touching poop?!" The answer is, if you do anal play enough, you don't. Luckily, feces don't usually reside in the first few inches of the rectum, so something small (like a finger) has a good chance of coming out clean. But longer toys, such as anal beads, go much farther in than a few inches, so there may be poop on them when you pull them out. If that grosses you out, you can always try an enema beforehand to get the whole area washed out. Personally, I'm not brave enough to voluntarily give myself an enema, so I'd suggest keeping some wipes and a towel handy. Once you are done with play, just go wash your hands and the beads with hot, soapy water... or, if you're me, compulsively scrub the beads three times, using nearly-scalding water and enough soap to kill an army of bad bacteria.
In the end, I think this is a very good buy for beginners, and it is only $7.99 + shipping. (A side note: The Adult Toy Shoppe does require you to have orders of up to $20 including shipping, so you will have to buy something else as well.) The only way I would not recommend it is if you suffer from hemorroids, because the strand will aggravate them and make them worse. If you buy them, use lots of lube, go slowly and relax, and don't feel the need to use the whole strand of beads the first time. Eventually, you will get used to this toy.
The second item I tried from this store was the Copper Swirl Anal Plug ($10.99). This plug appealed to my girly side because it is bright and colorful, and makes me happy to look at! It is also great for beginners because it is small, thin, and made of a soft material so the who
le plug is bendy and squishable. For me, it is much less intimidating to stick something bendable and squishy into my butt than something hard and painful!
Once again, I did not have success with the plug until I put lube on; I could not even get it partway in. This just proves: for anything anal, use lube!!! Once I put in lube, the plug slid in without problem. I did have trouble getting it in at first; the plug is so bendable it kept bending and sliding down, missing my anus. With patience and a mirror, I got it to work.
This plug is small, thin, and comfortable. It has spiral ridges around it, for a unique twisty feeling if you want to rotate the plug while inside you, but I did not try this. I didn't keep the plug in for long, because I was sore from the aforementioned beads-with-hemorroids problem, but I wasn't as huge a fan of it as I am the beads. If you are an anal beginner, I would recommend buying the beads and leaving the plug til later, once you are comfortable with the smaller beads. Eventually, you can work up to this plug and later, even bigger and badder plugs, til you are an all-around anal rock star!
If you'd like, visit the Adult Toy Shoppe and browse through their many other anal and sex toys. A word of caution: this store does sell anal desensitizing (numbing) lube, which is not safe for healthy anal sex (find out why).
*Note: All pictures shown here are the property of The Adult Toy Shoppe.
Most of us, even the most sheltered, have seen anal beads in comedy movies or heard about them from friends. Rumor has it pulling the beads out is supposed to intensify orgasms, which sounds fun, so the first thing I tried were the Intro Anal Beads ($7.99 at Adult Toy Shoppe).The beads are small and perfect for beginners. They are also made of slick jelly material, not plastic, making them slide in and out easier. Another plus is they come on a bendable strand, making them easier to insert than the more traditional plastic-beads-on-a-string approach. Overall, I would definitely recommend this for beginners. The strand of beads was smaller than I expected (whew!) so I was much relieved. In fact, the smallest bead is about the size of a pea, and even the largest on the graduated strand is smaller than average human feces---so there are no worries about something going in or out of your bum that won't comfortably fit! If you are a beginner, I think these beads are a great choice for you.
The rule with anal is to always, always, always use lube--and never desensitizing or numbing lube--but I tried it first without lube, just to see. As expected, even the smallest beads were hard to get in, and even when relaxing and going slowly, I couldn't put it in past the first few beads. The moral of this story? Use lubricant. Once I lubed up, things went easier. I was glad for the small, unintimidating size since I was still having trouble wrapping my brain around the idea of sticking a foreign object up my butt; I kept tensing up and having to force myself to relax and breathe in. At first, I was unsure how to use the bendable strand (should I stick it in straight? bent? would it bend naturally to my body? I am not that familiar with human anatomy) but as I went slowly, slipping it out and then more and more in gradually, I got the hang of it. I did find it was easier to insert them when I was lying on my back, using a mirror, than when I was kneeling on all fours. I eventually got all the beads in without pain or discomfort, and it was a very unique feeling inside!
I tried several different techniques for reviewing purposes. First, I know in BDSM many Doms are interested in forcing their subs to wear anal beads out in public, sometimes even all day, and I wasn't sure how that would work. But once they were all the way in, I was pleasantly surprised to find I could easily stand, walk, and sit in them without discomfort. The circled grip, made of soft, bendable jelly, fit comfortably between my cheeks, so I could sit without problem. Inside, I could feel the beads and they felt perfectly comfortable, just like having in a tampon. But one word of warning if you are a sub whose Dom wants you to try this: walking was normally fine, but at times without warning I would losen up and the beads would start to slip out! If you play with forced anal beads in public, plan to make emergency dashes to the restroom if needed.
What goes up must come down, and this was no exception. I did not really like the feeling of the beads coming out when I pulled quickly--the answer to this is lube, lube, lube, lube. You can do damage to sensitive tissues if you rip the beads out without enough lube, and in my case it did kind of hurt. However, I found pulling them out verrrry slowly, one bead popping out at a time, felt nice and very sexy for me, so to each her own.
I can almost hear the gasps now: "But how do you do anal play without touching poop?!" The answer is, if you do anal play enough, you don't. Luckily, feces don't usually reside in the first few inches of the rectum, so something small (like a finger) has a good chance of coming out clean. But longer toys, such as anal beads, go much farther in than a few inches, so there may be poop on them when you pull them out. If that grosses you out, you can always try an enema beforehand to get the whole area washed out. Personally, I'm not brave enough to voluntarily give myself an enema, so I'd suggest keeping some wipes and a towel handy. Once you are done with play, just go wash your hands and the beads with hot, soapy water... or, if you're me, compulsively scrub the beads three times, using nearly-scalding water and enough soap to kill an army of bad bacteria.
In the end, I think this is a very good buy for beginners, and it is only $7.99 + shipping. (A side note: The Adult Toy Shoppe does require you to have orders of up to $20 including shipping, so you will have to buy something else as well.) The only way I would not recommend it is if you suffer from hemorroids, because the strand will aggravate them and make them worse. If you buy them, use lots of lube, go slowly and relax, and don't feel the need to use the whole strand of beads the first time. Eventually, you will get used to this toy.
The second item I tried from this store was the Copper Swirl Anal Plug ($10.99). This plug appealed to my girly side because it is bright and colorful, and makes me happy to look at! It is also great for beginners because it is small, thin, and made of a soft material so the who
le plug is bendy and squishable. For me, it is much less intimidating to stick something bendable and squishy into my butt than something hard and painful!Once again, I did not have success with the plug until I put lube on; I could not even get it partway in. This just proves: for anything anal, use lube!!! Once I put in lube, the plug slid in without problem. I did have trouble getting it in at first; the plug is so bendable it kept bending and sliding down, missing my anus. With patience and a mirror, I got it to work.
This plug is small, thin, and comfortable. It has spiral ridges around it, for a unique twisty feeling if you want to rotate the plug while inside you, but I did not try this. I didn't keep the plug in for long, because I was sore from the aforementioned beads-with-hemorroids problem, but I wasn't as huge a fan of it as I am the beads. If you are an anal beginner, I would recommend buying the beads and leaving the plug til later, once you are comfortable with the smaller beads. Eventually, you can work up to this plug and later, even bigger and badder plugs, til you are an all-around anal rock star!
If you'd like, visit the Adult Toy Shoppe and browse through their many other anal and sex toys. A word of caution: this store does sell anal desensitizing (numbing) lube, which is not safe for healthy anal sex (find out why).
*Note: All pictures shown here are the property of The Adult Toy Shoppe.
12/15/2008
Using Food During Sex
Food is often considered a sexy, kinky addition to sex. While there is nothing wrong with this, using food the wrong way can be dangerous. Here's our guide on when and how to use food in the bedroom.
A good general rule for sex is: No insertion! This makes some people sad, as some people have an obsession with finding kinky foods to stick up places it shouldn't go. Common examples are phallic objects like bananas and cucumbers; ginger for "figging"; or irritants like alcohol, wasabi, hot sauce, pepper sauce, and other spicy/stingy foods for pain play.
The problem with inserting food into a vagina, anus, or penis is that these are all mucous membranes. This means they are highly sensitive and absorb chemicals quickly. It is also nearly impossible to get all the food remnants out later, no matter how well you wash. Somewhere warm and moist like a vagina will find any molecules of food left over and harmful bacteria will begin to grow, making you incredibly sick. And water often just spreads the food around.
Sugar is a favorite kinky food (fruits, dips, desserts, champagne, and other sweets!), but it particularly dangerous. The natural, healthy bacteria inside a vagina will feed off the sugar and grow exponentially, resulting in painful yeast infections, urinary tract infections, or bladder infections. Not only are all these illnesses incredibly painful, but they require professional medical treatment, medication, and weeks of pain and no sex to heal.
If you want to use food up your read end, generally the more natural a product is, the less it can hurt you. So processed or man-made foods are out (like alcohol). Natural foods like peppers or ginger can be used, but be warned--the linings of the anus are delicate and will absorb the chemicals fast! In other words, it will hurt. :) Also, you can damage, tear, or inflame the tissue, causing rectal bleeding after sex or when you poop. Sometimes you can cause a rash or deaden the nerve endings. Just be cautious about inserting anything into your body other than a clean, washed body part or sex toy.
But cheer up: this doesn't mean food play is out. You can use food all over the body for foreplay, as long as you take care not to get it in the blody! Edible syrup, chocolte syrup, and sweet fruits can be safely used on the stomach, breasts, legs, and buttocks--anywhere covered with skin, with no openings into the body. Also, you can generally lick food off the outside of your genitals, so long as you avoid getting it inside.
If sex just doesn't seem as like "sex" without some sort of insertion, try pairing food in one spot with insertion in another. You can lick syrup off nipples while holding a vibrator inside your lover or stimulating her clit and G-spot with one hand. Or have her lie face-down or kneel doggie-style and sensually nibble fruit off her back while giving her some light anal fingering with the other hand.
Some sexy ideas: strawberries and champagne, a selection of sweet fruits to feed each other, whipped cream, chocolate syrup, fruit dip (one of my favorites!), or chocolate fondue. Take turns dipping fruit into the fondu or chilled dip, then feeding each other and trailing the food across the other's skin, then licking it off. And a tip about licking: it feels better when you keep it small and light, touching the body with only a small part of your tongue (such as the tip). Lots of slobber or a full, large lick isn't sexy.
In my experience, honey and ice cream can get sticky, so put a tarp under you and head to the shower after play. Anything with sugar in it (including fruits, which have natural sugars) gets sticky, so a tarp or old sheet is a must. It is probably a good idea to keep a damp towel close by so you can wipe your hands when you are done.
Happy eating!
Sources:
http://en.allexperts.com/q/BDSM-2733/Figging.htm
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080126161531AA9sBOy
A good general rule for sex is: No insertion! This makes some people sad, as some people have an obsession with finding kinky foods to stick up places it shouldn't go. Common examples are phallic objects like bananas and cucumbers; ginger for "figging"; or irritants like alcohol, wasabi, hot sauce, pepper sauce, and other spicy/stingy foods for pain play.
The problem with inserting food into a vagina, anus, or penis is that these are all mucous membranes. This means they are highly sensitive and absorb chemicals quickly. It is also nearly impossible to get all the food remnants out later, no matter how well you wash. Somewhere warm and moist like a vagina will find any molecules of food left over and harmful bacteria will begin to grow, making you incredibly sick. And water often just spreads the food around.
Sugar is a favorite kinky food (fruits, dips, desserts, champagne, and other sweets!), but it particularly dangerous. The natural, healthy bacteria inside a vagina will feed off the sugar and grow exponentially, resulting in painful yeast infections, urinary tract infections, or bladder infections. Not only are all these illnesses incredibly painful, but they require professional medical treatment, medication, and weeks of pain and no sex to heal.
If you want to use food up your read end, generally the more natural a product is, the less it can hurt you. So processed or man-made foods are out (like alcohol). Natural foods like peppers or ginger can be used, but be warned--the linings of the anus are delicate and will absorb the chemicals fast! In other words, it will hurt. :) Also, you can damage, tear, or inflame the tissue, causing rectal bleeding after sex or when you poop. Sometimes you can cause a rash or deaden the nerve endings. Just be cautious about inserting anything into your body other than a clean, washed body part or sex toy.
But cheer up: this doesn't mean food play is out. You can use food all over the body for foreplay, as long as you take care not to get it in the blody! Edible syrup, chocolte syrup, and sweet fruits can be safely used on the stomach, breasts, legs, and buttocks--anywhere covered with skin, with no openings into the body. Also, you can generally lick food off the outside of your genitals, so long as you avoid getting it inside.
If sex just doesn't seem as like "sex" without some sort of insertion, try pairing food in one spot with insertion in another. You can lick syrup off nipples while holding a vibrator inside your lover or stimulating her clit and G-spot with one hand. Or have her lie face-down or kneel doggie-style and sensually nibble fruit off her back while giving her some light anal fingering with the other hand.
Some sexy ideas: strawberries and champagne, a selection of sweet fruits to feed each other, whipped cream, chocolate syrup, fruit dip (one of my favorites!), or chocolate fondue. Take turns dipping fruit into the fondu or chilled dip, then feeding each other and trailing the food across the other's skin, then licking it off. And a tip about licking: it feels better when you keep it small and light, touching the body with only a small part of your tongue (such as the tip). Lots of slobber or a full, large lick isn't sexy.
In my experience, honey and ice cream can get sticky, so put a tarp under you and head to the shower after play. Anything with sugar in it (including fruits, which have natural sugars) gets sticky, so a tarp or old sheet is a must. It is probably a good idea to keep a damp towel close by so you can wipe your hands when you are done.
Happy eating!
Sources:
http://en.allexperts.com/q/BDSM-2733/Figging.htm
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080126161531AA9sBOy
12/11/2008
Anal Fingering for the Beginner
Anal activity is a difficult thing to ease into for many people, but it is a popular BDSM and vanilla activity! Anal sex can be intimidating for anal beginners, so this blog is about how to ease into it: with a finger or small sex toy. Anal can be pleasurable for either sex, as well as kinky and fun for both the receiver or giver. So whether you are interested in anal or a skeptic, read on.
Why are some people against anal? Some think it is weird or gross. The butt is usually considered a "gross" part of the body! Others are worried about germs or feces. Some men seem to worry that enjoying anal makes them "gay." To this I say: straight people had anal sex first! Are you going to let someone deprive you of sexual variety and pleasure just because of a silly concept that "only gays have anal sex"???? Think of it this way: gay men have oral sex, too, but does that make you gay for enjoying it? Of course not! It is not where you have sex, but with whom you have sex, that determines your sexual orientation!
My friends tell me anal is pleasurable for them. For both men and women, the anus is a sensitive area. For women, it can sometimes stimulate the G-spot through the vaginal walls. Orgasms are possible through anal penetration for women, but usually it is just another activity that feels good. For me, it doesn't feel good alone, but it certainly heightens the pleasure I feel in other areas! And for men, the prostrate (P-spot) can only be directly stimulated through anal, which (I've heard) can lead to an entirely new and wonderful type of orgasm.
Interested? Great. I won't talk about actual anal sex today, since that is something you need to work up to. But to begin with, a finger is a great place to start.
First, for anal insertion you always need lube. You want a thick lubricant and you want to keep applying. This is because your anus doesn't naturally lubricate, and the tissues are very delicate, so you could hurt yourself or do internal damage if you don't lubricate. I've found with one finger inserted I don't need lube, but if you are inserting anything else I would err on the side of caution.
And about lube: use real stuff! Lubricant is cheap. My friends and I have used (I shudder to admit it) such random and weird lubes as vaseline, spit, and hemorroid cream, but the point is, that's not what they're made for and they won't do as good a job!
Also, never use desensitizing anal lube! This is very dangerous! Pain during anal play is your body telling you something is wrong. You should stop immediately; never push on despite pain. Lube that numbs your body so you can't feel warning signs of pain is incredibly dangerous, and I advise you never to buy from stores that sell this, as it indicates they don't care about the safety of their customers!
Another rule of thumb for anal play is not to use anything without a flared base. While the vagina is only a few inches before you hit the cervical wall, the anus goes on...well, forever. Objects won't just magically stop in the anus. They can go up past the anus, into the lower intestines, and get stuck. This requires a really embarrassing emergency room trip and often surgery. Don't risk it!
Your finger is safe because it can't go in past the last knuckle! Anal toys such as dildos with a flared base or butt plugs are also safe because manufacturers make them specifically to stop at the base. Some people seem to feel the need to stick strange things up their bums (I've heard of brooms, cucumbers, alcohol, ginger root, and eggs!), and my advice is: Don't Try This! These things aren't made to go up your butt, so don't put them there! Materials with certain coatings can cause bleeding, abrasions, or an allergic reaction. Even natural products such as ginger and cucumber can cause irritations, rectal bleeding, and get stuck up there in Never Land. If something isn't mad to go up your bum, please, don't stick it there! If you simply must engage in kinky butt sex, use your finger or an anal sex toy--you can get these toys from $3 for anal beads to $10 for a cheap butt plug or dildo. It's just as cheap to buy the toys, and much, much safer, so stick with products made for this type of play!
Okay, now that we've gotten those safety rules out of the way, let's talk logistics.
My experience with anal is that it is best to start slow and small and work up. Of course, talk to your partner first; they won't appreciate it if you just shove a huge butt plug up their arse and yell, "Surprise!" Discuss both of your fears and hopes about anal sex, if you have any qualms, and how to know if one of you wants to stop.
Next, both partners should be clean, clean, clean! Healthy vaginas and penises don't contain any bacteria that can harm you if touched or swallowed, but butts do. Fecal matter can be invisible and can contain E-coli and other nasty diseases. The receiver should take a shower just before anal play and use warm water and soap outside the rectum. Some people like to try enemas or anal douches before play to really get squeaky clean inside, but I've never tried this. I will say that, even after a shower and enema, bad bacteria can be floating around, so wash your hands and toys after play.
The giver in this scenario also needs to do some pre-play grooming. Babeland toys suggests (for fingering, fisting, or anal!) that you should have "a manicure worthy of a meeting with the Queen Mother!" No, guys, you don't have to do your nails a pretty pink, but this means either gender should have clean, trimmed nails. Get those nails as short as possible, trim hangnails, file off rough edges, and wash wash wash. Scrub hard with antibacterial soap and HOT water for a full 60 seconds, being especially sure to scrub hard under those nails! A scratch or bacteria hiding under your nails can be dangerous for your partner.
Once everyone is clean and happy, I'd start with a finger. This is because it is small and won't feel uncomfortable. If you like that, you can move to two or to a small butt toy. But start small! Relax, work together, and communicate. My Dom asks me before he puts anything in anywhere, and is always open to my suggestions about how I like it--he doesn't get an ego trip about me giving feedback! For the receiver, just relax and see what you like: do you prefer just the outside of the rectum touched and played with, or some pentration, too? Do you like movement (in and out) or just holding still? I know some people love in-and-out motions, but it freaks me out and just makes me feel like I need to poop, so I'm not a fan. I am, however, a fan of the intimacy of letting my Dom know me so...well, intimately in a more "negative" body part, and of the feeling of pressure just being held firmly. It makes whatever is going on in my pussy much stronger and better!
Once you get the finger bit down, apply lube and try two fingers or a butt toy. Butt plugs are meant to just be held inside you for a nice sense of fullness. Anal dildos, on the other hand, can be used for movement. Some people enjoy thrusting, some like rotating or twisting, and there are all sorts of toys that cater to this, from ridged dildos to curved ones that hit the male prostrate perfectly. Use lube, and later if it starts to feel dry or uncomfortable, take it out and re-apply as needed!
Many people are afraid to try anal because they see it as gross, weird, or gay. I will admit, I have been one of those people. Others have tried it and didn't like it because it wasn't pleasurable, felt uncomfortable, or hurt. Again, I've been on of those people, too! As I keep blogging, I will continue sharing my new anal experiences, because I'm convinced the world of anal hides some wonderful and well-kept secrets, and I want to find them out.... so good luck searching and enjoy!
Why are some people against anal? Some think it is weird or gross. The butt is usually considered a "gross" part of the body! Others are worried about germs or feces. Some men seem to worry that enjoying anal makes them "gay." To this I say: straight people had anal sex first! Are you going to let someone deprive you of sexual variety and pleasure just because of a silly concept that "only gays have anal sex"???? Think of it this way: gay men have oral sex, too, but does that make you gay for enjoying it? Of course not! It is not where you have sex, but with whom you have sex, that determines your sexual orientation!
My friends tell me anal is pleasurable for them. For both men and women, the anus is a sensitive area. For women, it can sometimes stimulate the G-spot through the vaginal walls. Orgasms are possible through anal penetration for women, but usually it is just another activity that feels good. For me, it doesn't feel good alone, but it certainly heightens the pleasure I feel in other areas! And for men, the prostrate (P-spot) can only be directly stimulated through anal, which (I've heard) can lead to an entirely new and wonderful type of orgasm.
Interested? Great. I won't talk about actual anal sex today, since that is something you need to work up to. But to begin with, a finger is a great place to start.
First, for anal insertion you always need lube. You want a thick lubricant and you want to keep applying. This is because your anus doesn't naturally lubricate, and the tissues are very delicate, so you could hurt yourself or do internal damage if you don't lubricate. I've found with one finger inserted I don't need lube, but if you are inserting anything else I would err on the side of caution.
And about lube: use real stuff! Lubricant is cheap. My friends and I have used (I shudder to admit it) such random and weird lubes as vaseline, spit, and hemorroid cream, but the point is, that's not what they're made for and they won't do as good a job!
Also, never use desensitizing anal lube! This is very dangerous! Pain during anal play is your body telling you something is wrong. You should stop immediately; never push on despite pain. Lube that numbs your body so you can't feel warning signs of pain is incredibly dangerous, and I advise you never to buy from stores that sell this, as it indicates they don't care about the safety of their customers!
Another rule of thumb for anal play is not to use anything without a flared base. While the vagina is only a few inches before you hit the cervical wall, the anus goes on...well, forever. Objects won't just magically stop in the anus. They can go up past the anus, into the lower intestines, and get stuck. This requires a really embarrassing emergency room trip and often surgery. Don't risk it!
Your finger is safe because it can't go in past the last knuckle! Anal toys such as dildos with a flared base or butt plugs are also safe because manufacturers make them specifically to stop at the base. Some people seem to feel the need to stick strange things up their bums (I've heard of brooms, cucumbers, alcohol, ginger root, and eggs!), and my advice is: Don't Try This! These things aren't made to go up your butt, so don't put them there! Materials with certain coatings can cause bleeding, abrasions, or an allergic reaction. Even natural products such as ginger and cucumber can cause irritations, rectal bleeding, and get stuck up there in Never Land. If something isn't mad to go up your bum, please, don't stick it there! If you simply must engage in kinky butt sex, use your finger or an anal sex toy--you can get these toys from $3 for anal beads to $10 for a cheap butt plug or dildo. It's just as cheap to buy the toys, and much, much safer, so stick with products made for this type of play!
Okay, now that we've gotten those safety rules out of the way, let's talk logistics.
My experience with anal is that it is best to start slow and small and work up. Of course, talk to your partner first; they won't appreciate it if you just shove a huge butt plug up their arse and yell, "Surprise!" Discuss both of your fears and hopes about anal sex, if you have any qualms, and how to know if one of you wants to stop.
Next, both partners should be clean, clean, clean! Healthy vaginas and penises don't contain any bacteria that can harm you if touched or swallowed, but butts do. Fecal matter can be invisible and can contain E-coli and other nasty diseases. The receiver should take a shower just before anal play and use warm water and soap outside the rectum. Some people like to try enemas or anal douches before play to really get squeaky clean inside, but I've never tried this. I will say that, even after a shower and enema, bad bacteria can be floating around, so wash your hands and toys after play.
The giver in this scenario also needs to do some pre-play grooming. Babeland toys suggests (for fingering, fisting, or anal!) that you should have "a manicure worthy of a meeting with the Queen Mother!" No, guys, you don't have to do your nails a pretty pink, but this means either gender should have clean, trimmed nails. Get those nails as short as possible, trim hangnails, file off rough edges, and wash wash wash. Scrub hard with antibacterial soap and HOT water for a full 60 seconds, being especially sure to scrub hard under those nails! A scratch or bacteria hiding under your nails can be dangerous for your partner.
Once everyone is clean and happy, I'd start with a finger. This is because it is small and won't feel uncomfortable. If you like that, you can move to two or to a small butt toy. But start small! Relax, work together, and communicate. My Dom asks me before he puts anything in anywhere, and is always open to my suggestions about how I like it--he doesn't get an ego trip about me giving feedback! For the receiver, just relax and see what you like: do you prefer just the outside of the rectum touched and played with, or some pentration, too? Do you like movement (in and out) or just holding still? I know some people love in-and-out motions, but it freaks me out and just makes me feel like I need to poop, so I'm not a fan. I am, however, a fan of the intimacy of letting my Dom know me so...well, intimately in a more "negative" body part, and of the feeling of pressure just being held firmly. It makes whatever is going on in my pussy much stronger and better!
Once you get the finger bit down, apply lube and try two fingers or a butt toy. Butt plugs are meant to just be held inside you for a nice sense of fullness. Anal dildos, on the other hand, can be used for movement. Some people enjoy thrusting, some like rotating or twisting, and there are all sorts of toys that cater to this, from ridged dildos to curved ones that hit the male prostrate perfectly. Use lube, and later if it starts to feel dry or uncomfortable, take it out and re-apply as needed!
Many people are afraid to try anal because they see it as gross, weird, or gay. I will admit, I have been one of those people. Others have tried it and didn't like it because it wasn't pleasurable, felt uncomfortable, or hurt. Again, I've been on of those people, too! As I keep blogging, I will continue sharing my new anal experiences, because I'm convinced the world of anal hides some wonderful and well-kept secrets, and I want to find them out.... so good luck searching and enjoy!
11/15/2008
Sex Toy Stores for the BDSM Enthusiast
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11/14/2008
Figging (How It Really Feels)
I am one dedicated blogger! I'm lying here now with a burning, aching bum. I'd been reading about figging, an activity my Dom and I had decided to try and write about on our blog. We decided to have me do it, partly--I believe--because he was chicken, but mostly because I am the logical choice as a female can experience figging anally, vaginally, and clitorally. So today I decided to go ahead and try it, even though my dom's not here now. Am I brave or what? :) Read below for my minute-by-minute commentary (and my rear still hurts!).
If the links don't work, you can reach both these blogs in the "Links We Like" box on the bottom right of the page and find them that way!
First off, here is a great article by Franklin Veux that explain what figging is and how to do it.
And here is an article by Garnet Joyce that gives a common-sense warning about why figging can be dangerous and why not to do it.
That said, I did it anyway, and here are the results:
Figging (Clitoral)
5:10 pm: Cut giner root. Listen to some music; Girls Just Want to Have Fun? No, I choose Sarah Brightman. Root is surprisingly easy to cut, like peeling an apple. And smells good! 5:14 pm: Place ginger on my clit and cross legs. Feels cold! Strange, cooling sensation down there because of cold water. Ack!
5:15 pm: still cold, but not tingling or burning yet. Patience…
5:17 pm: is it working? did I do it wrong? less cool now… almost feels normal.
5:19 pm: I need chapstick. But don’t want to move. L
5:21 pm: is that a slight, slight burning sensation on my lower left outer labia? Sigh.
5:21 pm: Yes, definitely working now. Tingling, light burning sensation on my left side and clit…. can’t decide if it hurts or is just annoying… but really it’s so light, it’s easy to ignore.
5:22 pm: Oops! Now the right side started, too!
5:23 pm: Burning is now growing steadily. At least it works! But I don’t see how it is sexy or pleasurable. It just burns. On a pain scale 1-10, it’s only like a 3, but there is nothing pleasurable about this.
5:24 pm: Ow. Ow ow ow. Oh wait, okay, now this is better. Burning just subsided into an all-over tingling/lighter burning that is less concentrated and intense, more of a slow, sharp tingling all over my clit and labia. Still not turned on, but this isn’t bad!
5:25 pm: See how dedicated I am to my blog readership?
5:26 pm: This isn’t horrible pain. Like a 4. I can see how this would be sexy if I’d done something bad and my Dom tied me up and did this to me, instead of just sitting here waiting. I would feel a little pain and fear more coming. And couldn’t take it off when I wanted.
5:28 pm: I take that back. It really doesn’t hurt enough to be a sexy punishment. And I’m not even that into pain.
5:29 pm: still sort of burns/itches. Annoying. But still at a 4, so nothing I can’t handle. Sigh. I’m rather disappointed. The burn doesn’t seem to be growing anymore, so I’m going to take it off, throw this piece away, and start with the next “experiment.”
Figging (Vaginal)
5:30 pm: Take another small piece of ginger root. Still smells good! I’m only going to use the smaller knife this time. My clit still burns a bit, by the way, even with the ginger in the trash.
5:31 pm: Begin carving. The ginger smells fantastic, by the way! How can I incorporate freshly-cut ginger scent into my home decorating? Hm…
5:33 pm: Done carving. It’s hard to keep it smooth, and when you pull rather than cut the peel off, it gets stringy. Kind of awkward. My clit still sort of burns. *mad face*
5:35 pm: have now inserted ginger. Now it’s awkward to sit cross-legged to type.
5:37 pm: a much more immediate reaction! I could feel something the moment I put the ginger in. Now it is burning a bit. It also hurts, but I think this is due to my clamping my vaginal muscles around it to try to hold it in more so than the size or shape of it. I’ll try to relax…
5:38 pm: Again, nothing too painful, just an annoying, tingling burn inside and a soreness on the lips as they try to hold the ginger in (I’m sure this could be fixed by making it longer. But I’m sure this would be sexy to have a Dom tie me up bent over something, carve this in front of me, insert it in, and leave me, returning later once it burns a bit to spank or paddle me. Especially a big piece. *evil grin*
5:40 pm: The burn is nothing to the pain around my inner lips… it just aches and feels uncomfortable! Not fun! On the 1-10 pain scale, the ginger burn is about a 1 or a 2 and the ache is about a 4 (5 when I tighten up!)
5:42 pm: I can’t take it anymore. The burn is nothing, but this ache is not worth it. I must have shaped it funny, or not made it long enough so the end of the ginger is hurting the vaginal opening. Make it longer next time so the two don’t come in contact!
Figging (Anal)
5:43 pm: This is what figging was originally intended for, but it’s the one I’m least enthused about trying. Ick. Oh well, it’s research! My insides still ache ache ache, by the way!!! The burn is completely gone, but it did not sit well inside my body! But the burn was nothing, much less even than compared with my clit. I wonder if it’s because of my body’s natural lubricants? I’ve read lube decreases the effects, and I do self-lubricate a lot…
5:51 pm: I have inserted the root, slowly and carefully. I took much more care with this one to make it smooth and round… imagine the possibilities if I didn’t *shudder*. I do have to be careful to relax consciously, as it is thin and could break easily, and I feel my intestinal muscles could probably break it easily on accident. That would be…awkward.
5:52 pm: Once again, a much more immediate sensation! I can feel it right away, it’s neither painful nor pleasurable, just cool (from the water) and a light, almost featherlike tingle.
5:53 pm: a side note as I wait: Doms, if you want to try this, make sure you make your partner squeeze, both during and after. It makes it hurt slightly more, and since I’m getting barely any pain out of this supposedly-very-painful activity, it might be necessary. I wonder if it’sbecause my root was a few days old? It shouldn’t matter til you peel it, but maybe not-fresh root loses its potency.
5:54 pm: Yep, definitely burning now! Ow! Just a 3.5 on my pain scale, so if my Dom did this to me I would still be grinning smugly because I’m stubborn, but for just sitting around my room alone, it definitely hurts a bit!
5:55 pm: Still holding steady with a steady, even burn right about a level 4. Meaning I can feel it, it’s uncomfortable, but not too bad. Nothing to make me scream or fight. Might be worse if I were being spanked, but honestly, I think a good hard slapping session or paddling would be much, much better punishment.
5:56 pm: It’s just elevated to a definite 5 or 5 and a half. I’m a little excited, as this experiment has been mostly a bust!
5:57 pm: Okay, we’re to a 5 or 6. It burns, and it hurts! But if I were being punished, nothing. You’d still get no peep out of me. The point of hurting someone is to break them: make them moan, scream, cry, and beg you to stop even when they don’t want to. It hurts! But I could definitely take it with no noise. Definite 6 now!
5:59 pm: It just occurred to me that it may not be getting higher than a “6” pain level because I’m not clenching. I tried once, lightly, and I think my behind burst into flames. It would definitely be much, much worse if I seriously clenched down. So if you can do something to make your partner clench (like paddling them), that’s an idea, but I think it might be dangerous because butt muscles are strong and ginger is very weak. It would be terrible to break it inside you on accident and not be able to get it out… what an awkward trip to the doctor that would be! That said, it is probably not wise to ever put something in your bum that isn’t made to go there (like a dildo) so, be careful! A dildo covered in Bengay will do the trick for the pain and be much safer!
6:01 pm: Okay, I’m in some serious pain now, but still about a 6 and still nothing that forces me to make a peep. I’m considered this experiment done, for what it’s worth, and taking the ginger out. And then washing my hands.
That said, my recommendation would be that, if you want to try figging, stick to clitoral and vaginal stimulation (places where it can't get stuck more than 4 inches up your body). If you are interested in other anal play or pain, use a dildo or vibrator made for such purposes and cover it with Bengay for an evil burn. Figging was interesting once, but not all it's cracked up to be.
Signing off at 6:15 pm, with a still-burning bum.
Additional note: I had rectal bleeding the next day, and used a very small and painless piece. Online research suggests ginger and other irritants can cause this on sensitive skin. Stick to sex toys; don't try this!
If the links don't work, you can reach both these blogs in the "Links We Like" box on the bottom right of the page and find them that way!
First off, here is a great article by Franklin Veux that explain what figging is and how to do it.
And here is an article by Garnet Joyce that gives a common-sense warning about why figging can be dangerous and why not to do it.
That said, I did it anyway, and here are the results:
Figging (Clitoral)
5:10 pm: Cut giner root. Listen to some music; Girls Just Want to Have Fun? No, I choose Sarah Brightman. Root is surprisingly easy to cut, like peeling an apple. And smells good! 5:14 pm: Place ginger on my clit and cross legs. Feels cold! Strange, cooling sensation down there because of cold water. Ack!
5:15 pm: still cold, but not tingling or burning yet. Patience…
5:17 pm: is it working? did I do it wrong? less cool now… almost feels normal.
5:19 pm: I need chapstick. But don’t want to move. L
5:21 pm: is that a slight, slight burning sensation on my lower left outer labia? Sigh.
5:21 pm: Yes, definitely working now. Tingling, light burning sensation on my left side and clit…. can’t decide if it hurts or is just annoying… but really it’s so light, it’s easy to ignore.
5:22 pm: Oops! Now the right side started, too!
5:23 pm: Burning is now growing steadily. At least it works! But I don’t see how it is sexy or pleasurable. It just burns. On a pain scale 1-10, it’s only like a 3, but there is nothing pleasurable about this.
5:24 pm: Ow. Ow ow ow. Oh wait, okay, now this is better. Burning just subsided into an all-over tingling/lighter burning that is less concentrated and intense, more of a slow, sharp tingling all over my clit and labia. Still not turned on, but this isn’t bad!
5:25 pm: See how dedicated I am to my blog readership?
5:26 pm: This isn’t horrible pain. Like a 4. I can see how this would be sexy if I’d done something bad and my Dom tied me up and did this to me, instead of just sitting here waiting. I would feel a little pain and fear more coming. And couldn’t take it off when I wanted.
5:28 pm: I take that back. It really doesn’t hurt enough to be a sexy punishment. And I’m not even that into pain.
5:29 pm: still sort of burns/itches. Annoying. But still at a 4, so nothing I can’t handle. Sigh. I’m rather disappointed. The burn doesn’t seem to be growing anymore, so I’m going to take it off, throw this piece away, and start with the next “experiment.”
Figging (Vaginal)
5:30 pm: Take another small piece of ginger root. Still smells good! I’m only going to use the smaller knife this time. My clit still burns a bit, by the way, even with the ginger in the trash.
5:31 pm: Begin carving. The ginger smells fantastic, by the way! How can I incorporate freshly-cut ginger scent into my home decorating? Hm…
5:33 pm: Done carving. It’s hard to keep it smooth, and when you pull rather than cut the peel off, it gets stringy. Kind of awkward. My clit still sort of burns. *mad face*
5:35 pm: have now inserted ginger. Now it’s awkward to sit cross-legged to type.
5:37 pm: a much more immediate reaction! I could feel something the moment I put the ginger in. Now it is burning a bit. It also hurts, but I think this is due to my clamping my vaginal muscles around it to try to hold it in more so than the size or shape of it. I’ll try to relax…
5:38 pm: Again, nothing too painful, just an annoying, tingling burn inside and a soreness on the lips as they try to hold the ginger in (I’m sure this could be fixed by making it longer. But I’m sure this would be sexy to have a Dom tie me up bent over something, carve this in front of me, insert it in, and leave me, returning later once it burns a bit to spank or paddle me. Especially a big piece. *evil grin*
5:40 pm: The burn is nothing to the pain around my inner lips… it just aches and feels uncomfortable! Not fun! On the 1-10 pain scale, the ginger burn is about a 1 or a 2 and the ache is about a 4 (5 when I tighten up!)
5:42 pm: I can’t take it anymore. The burn is nothing, but this ache is not worth it. I must have shaped it funny, or not made it long enough so the end of the ginger is hurting the vaginal opening. Make it longer next time so the two don’t come in contact!
Figging (Anal)
5:43 pm: This is what figging was originally intended for, but it’s the one I’m least enthused about trying. Ick. Oh well, it’s research! My insides still ache ache ache, by the way!!! The burn is completely gone, but it did not sit well inside my body! But the burn was nothing, much less even than compared with my clit. I wonder if it’s because of my body’s natural lubricants? I’ve read lube decreases the effects, and I do self-lubricate a lot…
5:51 pm: I have inserted the root, slowly and carefully. I took much more care with this one to make it smooth and round… imagine the possibilities if I didn’t *shudder*. I do have to be careful to relax consciously, as it is thin and could break easily, and I feel my intestinal muscles could probably break it easily on accident. That would be…awkward.
5:52 pm: Once again, a much more immediate sensation! I can feel it right away, it’s neither painful nor pleasurable, just cool (from the water) and a light, almost featherlike tingle.
5:53 pm: a side note as I wait: Doms, if you want to try this, make sure you make your partner squeeze, both during and after. It makes it hurt slightly more, and since I’m getting barely any pain out of this supposedly-very-painful activity, it might be necessary. I wonder if it’sbecause my root was a few days old? It shouldn’t matter til you peel it, but maybe not-fresh root loses its potency.
5:54 pm: Yep, definitely burning now! Ow! Just a 3.5 on my pain scale, so if my Dom did this to me I would still be grinning smugly because I’m stubborn, but for just sitting around my room alone, it definitely hurts a bit!
5:55 pm: Still holding steady with a steady, even burn right about a level 4. Meaning I can feel it, it’s uncomfortable, but not too bad. Nothing to make me scream or fight. Might be worse if I were being spanked, but honestly, I think a good hard slapping session or paddling would be much, much better punishment.
5:56 pm: It’s just elevated to a definite 5 or 5 and a half. I’m a little excited, as this experiment has been mostly a bust!
5:57 pm: Okay, we’re to a 5 or 6. It burns, and it hurts! But if I were being punished, nothing. You’d still get no peep out of me. The point of hurting someone is to break them: make them moan, scream, cry, and beg you to stop even when they don’t want to. It hurts! But I could definitely take it with no noise. Definite 6 now!
5:59 pm: It just occurred to me that it may not be getting higher than a “6” pain level because I’m not clenching. I tried once, lightly, and I think my behind burst into flames. It would definitely be much, much worse if I seriously clenched down. So if you can do something to make your partner clench (like paddling them), that’s an idea, but I think it might be dangerous because butt muscles are strong and ginger is very weak. It would be terrible to break it inside you on accident and not be able to get it out… what an awkward trip to the doctor that would be! That said, it is probably not wise to ever put something in your bum that isn’t made to go there (like a dildo) so, be careful! A dildo covered in Bengay will do the trick for the pain and be much safer!
6:01 pm: Okay, I’m in some serious pain now, but still about a 6 and still nothing that forces me to make a peep. I’m considered this experiment done, for what it’s worth, and taking the ginger out. And then washing my hands.
That said, my recommendation would be that, if you want to try figging, stick to clitoral and vaginal stimulation (places where it can't get stuck more than 4 inches up your body). If you are interested in other anal play or pain, use a dildo or vibrator made for such purposes and cover it with Bengay for an evil burn. Figging was interesting once, but not all it's cracked up to be.
Signing off at 6:15 pm, with a still-burning bum.
Additional note: I had rectal bleeding the next day, and used a very small and painless piece. Online research suggests ginger and other irritants can cause this on sensitive skin. Stick to sex toys; don't try this!
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