My Second Fisting Attempt

Well, my 2nd fisting attempt did not go so much better than the 1st. Sigh.

In case you're wondering, Part 1 of the fisting saga can be found here.

Despite some really good advice from a commentor here on this blog (thanks!) and the women in the Fetlife group Submissive Women, it just didn't work.

We relaxed. We used lube. We went slowly.

Once again, his knuckles, the widest part of his hand, got stuck on my pubic bones. I know, if a baby can fit through..... but it wouldn't! It makes me definitely, definitely fear for childbirth.

Anyway, we used lots and lots of lube, worked up to it from 1 finger to 2, then 3, and so forth.... and we got closer than last time. But when it came down to it, we couldn't do it. It hurt too much, and even when I worked through the pain for seconds at a time, we couldn't do it. Finally, after a good half hour of trying, we gave up.

Still, this failed fisting attempt was not without its merits! It is good couple bonding--quality time, if you will--to try new things together, sexually or otherwise. We had fun talking, working through it together, exploring, going forward, backing up, changing positions, trying again. So I consider it a partial success. Making love isn't about orgasms and hot movie-screen sex, although sometimes I'd like it to be. But in the end, it's about being together, trying new things, and being able to laugh when it doesn't work, roll over and try something else instead, and try again a new day.

My First Fisting Attempt

I'd been reading up on fisting and revving myself up for a try. The web has lots of good resources for this: About.com has instructios for fisting; Babeland has a great how-to article on fisting as well.

Fisting is often seen as a gay (anal) or lesbian (vaginal) activity. I'm not sure why, since if lesbian women enjoy having a fist inside them, why wouldn't straight women? To my knowledge, all humans have similar sexual makeup and therefore, similar sexual responses.

Fisting sounds totally sexy, but it can be scary. I like to be filled up as much as the next gal, but it can take a lot of work and stretching and being turned on to get me there! So I was understandably nervous about this.

My Dom mentioned several months ago that he was intrigued by fisting. As the unofficial researcher of the couple, I did my research. Everything I read said it was difficult but worth it. Some of the purported benefits include a heightened sense of vulnerability during sex, more intense stimulation, a guaranteed orgasm, and closer emotional connection. Sounds good, no?

We talked about it and I shared my resources. Once we had both read up on the subject, we decided--three or four months after it was first brought up!--to go for it.

We decided not to make the fisting part of scene, since it was so new to both of us. We had lube and towels ready, and got ourselves comfortable on our big bed. My Dom spent as much time as I needed getting me to relax and get used to one finger, then two, then three (this started to hurt and get sore) and eventually four.

So, my first experience with fisting? Not as easy as it sounds!

First, even lubricant can't alter the harsh reality: I am small-boned. While my Dom is a fairly small man as well, his hands are about a normal size. Stretching my vagina was difficult, but still possible--it seemed sore and uncomfortable at some points, but muscle and skin can be stretched nonethless.

Bone, however, cannot. We managed to get in most of his fist, at great discomfort to me, because my pelvic bone hindered his knuckles from going completely in. No matter how much I spread my legs, relaxed, and took deep breaths, his knuckles still pressed painfully against my tender pelvic bones, making them feel bruised.

The experience was worth it to try, and we will be trying again (I hate to fail at anything!). Rest assured, I'll keep you updated when I figure out how to do it correctly, even with a small-boned woman. When we do, I'll upload the tips here!

Til then, be safe, enjoy the Easter season, and if any of you have tips to help us on our next fisting attempt, please let me know! :)