I have discovered a new lifestyle/philosophy that is similar to, yet distinct from, D/s BDSM relationships. This is called Domestic Discipline, or DD for short, or Christian Domestic Discipline (CDD).
DD and CDD are both marriages that have decided to make authority and discipline a part of their marriage. There is no difference in the practice of DD and CDD; the only difference is that CDD practices domestic discipline as part of a Christian tradition of male dominance and feminine submission (Ephesians 5:22-27). Whether you find sites on domestic discipline from a Christian point of view or a secular one, the webmasters often work together to promote their ideas of loving, consensual relationships where one partner has the authority.
This is very similar to the BDSM idea of D/s relationships, but people in DD relationships don't consider themselves part of the kink community. For them, spanking and punishment is not about kink or sex, but about maintaining a balanced household where both parties are cared for and loved. The leader receives reverence, respect, obedience, and 51% of decision-making responsibilities. The follower receives guidance, nurturing, care, discipline, and 49% of the decision-making. Both are required to partake in open, honest communication and to fully participate in their marriage, raising their children, and maintaining their lives.
Spanking is often the most-discussed element of DD. While spanking can be (and usually is) part of a DD household, it does not have to be. Other consequences can be used, including corner time, writing lines, or whatever the dominant person (often called HOH or Head of Household) decrees.
How is the HOH different from a Dom or Domme? Well, they're not really. They are two terms for the same figure: a dominant person in a relationship. And while DD and CDD are similar to BDSM, they are not the same.
How is domestic discipline different from BDSM? First, BDSM encompasses a large array of activities: Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, and Sadism and Masochism. DD is the same as the D/s part of BDSM, but has nothing to do with kink, bondage, sadism, or masochism. There is no pain for pain's sake. Also, DD is not "play" or a "scene." It is very real, with the HOH providing discipline and correction to change his partner's behavior, attitude, or words. It also seems that your average DD discipline is very light compared to the whips and chains we often associate with BDSM; you may see a HOH sending a disobedient wife to the corner and then bending her over his knee, but you aren't going to see them at a local munch, refering to their bedroom as a dungeon, or playing with needles, whips, St. Andrew's Crosses, or strap-on dildos. Punishment is only given when needed, and it is always intended to correct a real offence.
If you are interested in learning more about DD and CDD, please follow my links below. More will be available shortly.
CDD: Introduction (you're here now!)
CDD: Discipline and Punishment
CDD: A Typical Punishment Session
CDD: Why Women Want a Strong Man
CDD: The 3 Ds and Other Offenses
CDD: To Read More
4 comments:
best!!!
very interesting article. now I need to read the next four
My wife and I are a Christian couple who have a reasonably stable female dominant D/s understanding.
I hear what you say about the Biblical foundations for a marriage in which the man is HoH, but it looks like we're on shaky ground theologically when it comes to a femdom arrangement.
My own response to this is: if you're gonna sin, do it boldly.
In fact my blog rarely mentions my spirituality. It is mostly about femdom art and fantasy imagery these days.
I've just come across your blog and am interested in it.
I think I could never live married like that. I have a too big of ego. :) But if your husband loves you I guess is ok. (I mean in general terms)
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