If you've decided to try out Domestic Discipline (and please note that both of you must agree to this!), it may help to have an idea of what to expect during a typical punishment session.Before It Turns Into a Fight: Don't let it escalate into a shouting match. Yes, you both need to be heard, but fighting and screaming won't help. If a fight is emminent, use your calm, authoritative voice to say, "Stop right here. You need to go _______ to calm down. Then we can talk." She will probably keep trying to fight, but be firm and refuse to fight. Eventually she will storm away and sulk. Once you are both calmer, let both of you air out your disagreements, making sure you both remain respectful (even if she is emotional, she can be respectful). Then calmly inform her of what behaviors you did not like and what her consequence will be.
If It Isn't a Fight: Sometimes she will misbehave without it turning into a fight. For example, perhaps you've both agreed she must not spend over $_____ or she must stop drinking coffee (don't have her sacrifice anything you don't do as well!). If she misbehaves, simply say, "You know what this means. Please go into the bedroom and wait for me there." If you like, have her set out the implements for you. I prefer my Dom/HoH to get the implements out instead, as it gives me a terrible fright waiting for him and watching him get ready.
Before You Punish: It is up to you if you want her to strip down or you want to do it for her as part of the punishment. I personally prefer when the HoH instructs me to strip down to my panties and kneel over the bed. I can lay there on the bed for as long as it takes him to enter, dreading what's coming and thinking about what I did. Then when he comes in, I wait patiently while he fastens soft cuffs around my wrists (do not tie up a woman who does not want to be tied! I request the cuffs because otherwise I find it impossible to stay still during the spanking) and he removes my panties for me.
This is a good time to discuss what she did wrong. Examples include: "Do you know why we're here? Bend over and present your bottom. What did you do wrong? Can you tell me why you're being punished? Can you think of any good reason you should not be spanked?" This gives you a chance to clearly state what transgression occurred, for her to accept responsibility, and for her to give you a real reason her punishment should be lesser or nonexistent--don't let her out for no reason, but make sure you ARE punishing her fairly before you start smacking.
During the Punishment: Watch carefully for the phases she goes through.
- First she will try to hold out through the pain, because she is stubborn and strong!
- Gradually she will begin to show signs of distress. Some women will cry, others will scream, others will thrash, and others will beg and plead. You must know your own wife here--if she cries easily, don't let her off at the first sign of tears! On the other hand, if she never cries, don't keep going just to make it happen.
- Don't stop once you get her to tears or some other sign of acute pain. This is what a punishment is for. Keep going, without letting up or slowing down, and even hitting harder. She is going to start sobbing and screaming and pleading, but don't give up now.
- She will eventually hit the peak of her emotional response, called "fight or flight." At this point she is absolutely crazy with pain and will do anything to get you to stop. You are getting her close to where you want her! Watch carefully for her unique "fight or flight" response.
- Then she will start to submit. She may not be truly sorry yet, but she is in enough pain that she will physically and verbally submit to you, tell you she is sorry, and swear she's learned her lesson. This is up to you. Some women will mean it, but others will use their tears to fake it.
- I've read that you should keep pounding away at her (as long as she isn't seriously injured!) "until her cries go past the point of sincerity and have a ring of desperation in them."
- When you let her up, you will be able to tell if you've done your work. If she was faking it, she'll pop up all ticked off and refuse to talk to you. You haven't finished getting through to her in this case; bend her over again. A truly repentant woman will be sorrowful, clingy, remorseful, and emotional, probably clinging to you and sobbing apologies.
After the punishment: You can never forget aftercare. You must remember that this is for her good, because you love her, and not because you are mean or angry. This is a time when you must hold her, tuck her into bed, take care of her, murmur to her, rub aloe on her sore backside, and otherwise remind her how much you adore her and how you are not willing to see anybody--even herself--hurt her or put her in danger.
CDD: Discipline and Punishment
CDD: A Typical Punishment Session
CDD: Why Women Want a Strong Man
CDD: The 3 Ds and Other Offenses
CDD: To Read More
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