YKIMY

"YKIMK" is a common coin phrase tossed around. Its meaning?

"Your Kink Isn't My Kink."

This is a shortened version of the popular motif "Your kink isn't my kink but your kink is okay." In fact, some people will even spell the acronym for this longer phrase, YKIMKBYKIOK.

Because I like things simple, I stick with YKIMK.

YKIMK is a slogan in the BDSM world. People use it to remind each other not to judge.

Hard to believe, isn't it, that it one of the world's most misunderstood and "out there" alternative lifestyles, people in the groups are still pointing fingers at others in the lifestyle? Some people will get all bent out of shape. "Pretending to be a horse is so gross. You want to use drugs during a scene?!?! But asphixiation isn't SAFE! I just don't understand people who want to be raped. What is wrong with those monogamists?"

Yes, it's true; even in an alternative community, there are some activities (like polyamory, spanking, and age play) that are considered more "mainstream" and others that are considered more "taboo." Many people call these Edge Play because they tend to be more dangerous and out there "on the edge."

Sure, I think some people's kinks are wrong or immoral; I won't lie. I'm a Christian, so I have pretty fixed ideas about what is okay and what is wrong. While many BDSMers may be into poly, porn, and public scenes, I am not. Do I think their decisions are wrong and immoral? Yes. Is it my business? Nope. Do I feel the need to tell them my feelings unasked? Nope. I keep my beliefs to myself and respect others' rights to their own kinks. YKIMK.

Others I've heard about are against kinks they consider "weird" (like monogamy) or dangerous (like asphixiation). Several people on FetLife once criticized me for wanting to know if there were any chemicals or drugs that could be used to knock me unconscious or nearly so in rape play. They said it was too dangerous! Other kinksters thankfully stepped in and reminded them, Hey.... YKIMK.

Probably the most unpopular kinks are the ones that are illegal (beastiality, pedophilia, drugs). For those, I think YKIMK can be ignored.

Just remember, when you hear about someone doing something that you find weird, disgusting, repulsive, or just plain gross.... YKIMK. Sure, you may not like some kinks, but others may not like yours. An atmosphere of mutual respect is the best thing. Sure, you may not like it now, but maybe someday you will (my Dom once swore he would never be able to hit me! HaHaHa!). Even if you don't, others have a right to practice whatever weirdo things make them happy, as long as they are Safe, Sane, and Consensual (and legal!).

Remember... YKIMK.