I keep saying in this blog that mistakes are part of BDSM. The more you know, the more you practice, and the more you learn, the less likely they are to happen, but they'll still happen. From reading other BDSMers, I've heard hilarious horror stories of BDSM mistakes and slip-ups.... resulting in public humiliation for the wretched individuals when things went wrong. I've heard of a couple who had to safeword and opt out of a branding that they'd invited 50 friends to watch--a top whose bottom forgot they were playing the scene and public and refused to stop and finally had to be dragged offstage--people playing too hard with anal sex who accidentally shat the bed...in short, loads and loads of hilarious (albeit mortifying at the time) mishaps!
Well, I have one or two of my own to share.
For my first spanking scene, my Dom had prepared the before and the during... but I think he forgot to prepare for the after. He just assumed if he could get through the scene, it would all work out.
And I will say I was very impressed with his preparation! He surprised me with our first paddle, he practiced on himself first to make sure he didn't hurt me, together we researched spanking positions and techniques, and he bought zip ties for a kinky way to tie me up. He even had the knife beside the bed to cut me out. Everything should have gone smoothly, right?
Wrong.
After our incredibly hot scene, which began with me kneeling naked and tied on the floor and ended with me screaming in pain, my Dom tried to lift me onto the bed to move on to aftercare.
This proved to be Obstacle #1, since neither of us had forseen that, with my hands tied behind my back, it would be really awkward to lift and maneuver me. I could not help support my own weight with my arms, and he could not get a good grip on me because my bound arms were in the way. After awkwardly hoisting me up and half-dragging me across the bed, he left me to lie, helpless and still tied, on the bed while he began to provide aftercare.
Enter Obstacle #2. My arms were still tightly bound behind my back, making cuddling and "aftercare" generally difficult. Yet I'd just taken a huge beating, and was now trembling, lying limp and motionless, and I needed some TLC now. What to do?
My Dom grabbed a knife from the bedside table and started to cut the zip ties. It was dark and I couldn't see, but next thing I knew I heard an "Oof!" and he ran toward the bathroom. I was stuck there, curled in a ball on the bed in the dark, still tightly tied, and now getting cold (I was still naked) and quickly losing circulation in my hands. I heard much banging and rattling of cabinets, bottles being opened and closed, and water running. He called out to me, "I'm so sorry, I'm bleeding and I think I might need stitches!"
Great. The one time in my life I most needed aftercare, and he'd severed his finger. I could hear him rushing in the bathroom, trying to staunch the blood as fast as he could to get back to me. My arms and hands were going numb, and I tried to flex them a little as I waited, still bound and helpless, in the dark.
Finally I could hear him running into the kitchen, looking frantically for something else to cut my ties with. Obstacle #3... no backup plan. I tried to wait patiently, but with growing panic, as he fumbled through the kitchen. The lesson here? Always have backup tools for getting people out of bondage.
Finally he came hurrying in, where I was now way past the window for aftercare and feeling rather neglected. He began to cut away at my bonds furiously, and two seconds later I heard him cry, "Ow!" and suck his finger. Obstacle #4: our cheap kitchen scissors were no match for the zipties, and he was now bleeding again.
Ignoring his second severed finger, my Dom continued to cut away, til my wrists were finally released. I pulled my aching arms around me and curled up tightly on the bed. Briefly sucking his finger, my Dom quickly scooted in to snuggle me, belatedly stroking my hair and murmuring how well I'd done.
Then came Obstacle #5. Still bleeding, he asked me if I needed anything. Because scenes always leave me completely parched, I could barely ask for water. Of course, we should have known we'd need water after a scene, but had either of us thought of it? Nope. So he had to leave me again, this time to bandage his second finger and run to bring me water.
Luckily, no one was hurt or injured in our mistakes, and they were minor enough to be funny (once the blood had returned to my arms and his fingers had healed). Still, we've both learned that it isn't enough to have a great scene, but that you must have a great after scene as well, and for that to happen, we need to be prepared.
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