This week, I got a nice little break from BDSM.
I had a lot to deal with this week. I left my job in France and moved back home to the U.S. and my Dom. While this is good, I left my friends and home and the life I had built there. I came home to a new fiance, no job, no car, lack of mobility, lack of things to do, and being financially dependent on someone for the first time. I felt claustrophobic, panicked, and sad. I felt anxious and angry and resentful. I thought my Dom was using BDSM to control me. Feeling like this made me angry and withdrawn. Since I was feeling this way, we decided to not begin a full-time D/s or CDD relationship. We agreed to back off and give me time to adjust.
Slowly, I've been adjusting to jet lag and being back here with him. I'm so happy to see him now; finally the joy is appearing that was so elusive the first two days back. I'm relaxing and learning again to be used to him, to live with him, to trust him and let him take care of me and make me happy. He's being patient and loving and I'm slowly easing in to this new life here.
We cuddle all the time, and we kiss and are trying sex again for the first time with no hint of BDSM. I was afraid I wouldn't like it, but it's been a nice little break. BDSM gives sex an amazing spice and sparkle, but it is nice to just relax and be loved and be made love to.
In the meantime, head over to KinkySexLink.com and you can find some of the best bloggers on the internet, all discussing BDSM and kinky sex. Enjoy!
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