Christians *against* BDSM

I've been doing more research online about BDSM, and it's discouraging to see many Christian websites about BDSM devoted to judging the lifestyle, or at least warning against it.

Of course, you can find sites by Christians (or "Christians", by which I mean people who call themselves Christians but aren't really... and you can never be sure of the difference!) that agree with BDSM, but most I've found are either incomplete or too liberal to be Biblically sound.

I know for a fact there are worshipping, God-fearing, Christ-following people who also practice BDSM. Are they sinless? No... but they are believers.

So it discourages me to see many outspoken Christian sites warning against kink and BDSM. But I still think it is worthwhile to note what these people have to say and why they believe it. I know they are not trying to judge kinksters, but warn their brothers and sisters from what they honestly believe could develop into an unhealthy lifestyle.

These points I've taken directly from the site Porn Free. Further commentary with Bible verses to back them up is available on the full-text site, and it's worth a read. I will say, at least these authors have done their homework and understand what BDSM, rather than some who go by a cursory idea of the subject and decry it as "misogynistic" and "abusive." Here are the site's main reasons BDSM is not okay for Christians:

• It hurts the body, which degrades the Temple of God.
• It perverts sexual pleasure by mixing it with pain (pain is the work of Satan).
• It stifles the Holy Spirit by allowing actions and emotions Biblically associated with sin and our earthly natures (anger, lust, pain, etc.)
• BDSM corrupts marriage, which should be a reflection of Christ's relationship with the Church (admittedly not based on dominance or pain).

There are more points, most tracing the behaviors and emotions behind BDSM to satanic influences on the earth such as pain, dominance, slavery, aggression, violence, and malice.

I believe it is important to evaluate a site's sources and religious beliefs, and Porn-Free was a bit difficult to trace. Finally, however, I tracked down the author's credentials--he is a member of a nondenominational, Bible-based, full-water immersion church that is part of the group Converge. He is also a prayer minister in a group called Christian Healing Ministries, begun by a Catholic priest (now married) and used by many Christian denominations, including Catholicism and Episcopalianism.

Christian Hugo Schwyzer keeps professional and fair in his article on followers of Christ indulging in D/s play, but his opinion is still the same: it troubles him. His problem with the lifestyle can be summed up in this sentence:

BDSM celebrates the erotics of asymmetrical power... If God intended spouses to practice "radical domestic democracy," shouldn't how we make love be congruent with every aspect of our lives? If we are committed to equality, our physical delight in each other be egalitarian rather than hierarchical? ...Even if a couple is practicing BDSM with great care, if they delight in radical inequality in their sexual life they may be bringing the brokeness of the outside world into their intimate private sphere. For married Christian egalitarians in particular, that's a troubling thought.

Schwyzer, while admitting he knows people who find pleasure, fun, and healing in BDSM, fears Christians who engage in this lifestyle are mirroring our fallen world of darkness and distance, not the values of our future heavenly home.

If you're wondering where he gets these views (never trust a website without looking into the credentials of the writer!!!), Schwyzer is an Episcopalian Christian with a doctorate in philosophy.

In the absence of any available information on known Christian leaders speaking about the subject, I turned to Jewish leaders, who at least base their opinions on the first half of our Bible. In the humorous article The Ties that Bind, Jewish writer Helen Roth Rosner found 3 rabbis that would not answer questions about BDSM, one who said it was okay as long as it was consensual, and one who warned against it. The rabbi who was against it said:

To humiliate another human being or degrade the the equality of marriage would be frowned upon by Jewish [Old Testament] law.

In the end, it seems the religious community is slow to talk about sex, and slower still to discuss BDSM. The lack of information about it, or even documented quotes from known and respected religious leaders, leaves some of us hanging in doubt.

This is ironic, of course, because Paul would never have been the type to shy away from a question because it was "too embarrassing" or "too awkward." Paul talked about sex openly, and this was 2,000 years ago when women were stoned for adultery! Other Biblical writers, too, were comfortable talking about "taboo" or uncomfortable subjects, because they knew these subjects might not be fun for us to discuss, but they were important for the state of our immortal souls. Most notably, Jesus Himself never had qualms discussing "tough" topics, nor was He known for labeling things as "wrong" because they were new or alternative. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying Jesus would be okay or not okay with BDSM, but I find the lack of discussion on this topic by our modern-day religious leaders to be both disappointing and disturbing. Where our the voices to lead us in this area--an area which, by all evidence, is a growing internet phenomenon?

If any of you readers feel comfortable asking your priest or pastor about this topic, please... I'd be interested to hear what they have to say!

Until then, check your sources, play safe, and praise always!