7/11/2011

Tired

This pregnancy is getting hard again as we get to the end. I'm not sure I can take many more weeks of being this angry version of myself. And my poor Dom....

Sex, I'm finding, is centering for me. It helps me feel happier and normal--more me--afterward. But it is hard to find time to get sex in when we are so busy with his job and then running around getting errands run and the nursery painted and a million things to do.

Suddenly I'm so tired. All the time. I wake up tired. I go to bed tired. I'm not sure anyone who hasn't been pregnant or severely jet-lagged will understand.

As I get more emotional, sleep-deprived, and cranky, I'm finding D/s becomes even more important to me. My emotions are getting out of my control. I need the control. I need him to make sure I am polite to strangers in the store and not a glowering, rude version of myself. I need him to make sure my tone and temper toward him are not getting out of hand. I need him to make sure I do not sit on the couch all day feeling too depressed and overwhelmed to get anything done, and therefore not get anything done. The more my life gets hectic and overwhelming, the more I need the structure and gentle correction of him managing my life.

This will be a new phase for us. We'll see how he does at providing that direction and "gentle correction" when he is busy with a hectic job and emotional, sometimes-volatile wife. And then again when the baby arrives and we are so much busier.

If any of you have children, how did you and your partner navigate through late pregnancy and early parenthood?

5 comments:

Kitty said...

Well, Daddy(my Master and husband), has always been the one in charge, but it's just recently that we've evolved into a M/s relationship. We have children...lots of children, lol!

It makes it tricky, but it is doable. At first, it should be no worries for you because babies sleep very deeply. I'm sure there'll be time for just the two of you, but it will be different because you'll always be aware there's another little person in the house, lol! God bless you as you and your husband get ready to be parents:)!

Kitty

MrJ said...

Well, how did we do?
I'm afraid ;-) no other advice than "go with the flow" (here the advice to both parties is: leave any attempt at control - lol), knowing that the Creator loved to add a balancing thing to everything - there is a time for everything.

Dannah Bridger said...

Oh I remember the "tired". Just know that when that tired suddenly lifts and you feel as if you could clean the whole house in a day...go to the hospital or call the midwife. lol. You will not have energy again until it's time for delivery.

I laugh about the idea of having any kind of sex in a house with children. Kitty must have fed her's sleeping pills. lol. Sex often becomes a rather intense game of chance. On the bright side, you learn to er...find satisfaction...quickly.

I remember once when my then @ 4 yr old son found a toy. "What's this?" he asked as it vibrated in his hands. With total nonchalance I said, "That's your father's. Better ask him" and went back to what I was doing. ROFL.

Sex may not be the same for a decade or so, but there sure will be some humor. Just go with the flow and enjoy.

Alice said...

I just found your blog. My husband (Dom) and I have a 14 month old son and another on the way. I don't remember the late pregnancy much, but I do remember early parenthood. Chess, my husband, was a pillar of strength for me. I was depressed, frustrated, angry with myself, and it was hard. It was good too when I let the stress go and just enjoyed my son. That's my advice to you, when your baby arrives, be vocal about what you need and don't be ashamed to ask for help. Most of what caused my depression was the thinking that I ought to be able to do it all. Don't do more than you can handle. Nap when you can, and just try to enjoy your baby. Relax and enjoy.

One of the biggest helps, as I said, was that Chess was a pillar of strength. When I "failed" he was there encouraging me. He didn't get on my case about chores until I asked him too, and then never asked more of me than I could handle. I needed him to be firm, but understanding. I needed him to know when I just thought I couldn't do something, and when I really was pushed beyond my limits that day. And he wasn't perfect, but he did catch on and provided what I needed when i needed it.

About the time I got pregnant again, when our son was 10 months old, was when I finally felt able to return to normalcy (meaning serving the way I had been before our son). So just know, if you don't feel "normal" again for most of that first year it's okay.

Feel free to contact me with any questions.

alice

Lea said...

The more emotional and stressed I am, the more I need to be controlled. It centers me. I can only imagine what that's like for you!