A Kinkster's Guide: July 2009

7/29/2009

Review: Door Jam Cuffs

My Dom and I own several pair of handcuffs, and I've never been disappointed by Babeland's cuffs. Their door jam cuffs were no exception; they worked great, were sturdy, and most importantly, were fun! :)

The door jam cuffs are permanently attached to the straps, which makes bondage easy since you don't have to fasten any locks or tie any straps like with some other pairs I own. You simply throw them over any door, shut the door, and viola!, instant bondage.

They came in the mail a few weeks ago, and my excited Dom immediately threw them over our bedroom door, ready for play. Sadly, life got busy and so they just hung there, unused. But the great thing about them was that whenever company was coming over, it was so easy to simply remove them and tuck them into a drawer. Unlike actually screwing holes into your wall, these cuffs make suspension bondage without permanently damaging your home.

I was actually very impressed with these cuffs once I got them on---or rather, once my Dom got them on me. Since they're so light and temporary, I expected them to feel that way, but they don't. The velcro cuffs were snug and did not come off with lots of pulling (I tried!). The fleece was soft against my hands and did not chafe or bite even with the most violent struggling. Even best of all, I was in awe of how strong the cuffs were---at one point, my Dom lifted my feet off the ground so most of my weight was on the cuffs.... I started screeching that the cuff straps would break and I'd crash onto my face---but it never happened. Seriously, I wouldn't try levitation with these cuffs since that's not what they're made for, but we did and they held. These door jam cuffs are actually really strong.

The best part, though, is how easy they are to put away once you're done. Once the bondage is over, simply open the door, remove the cuffs, and all traces of the scene are gone.

Honestly, these cuffs are affordable ($30), comfy, and strong, so I don't see many downsides. The only problem would be if you wanted to do bondage for a long period of time, because any time someone's hands are suspended about her head, they will eventually fall asleep. (I just started whining through my gag after my hands went numb and my Dom took the cuffs off.)

If you want to order these cuffs, get more information, or see customer reviews, go to Babeland's Door Jam Cuff page to see what all the fuss is about!

7/23/2009

BDSM Online Communities

There are several cool online communities. For the many people who can't attend local dungeon events (because of distance, fear of being recognized, lack of time, or religious problems seeing other people naked), online communities keep us hooked in to what's happening in the BDSM world. We can talk, we can share, we can ask questions, share jokes, and learn, learn, learn. One of my favorite features in the Christian BDSM groups is that we can also discuss the Bible and BDSM, get good advice on acceptable activities, and pray for each other.

Of course, there is a downside to online BDSM communities, as well. The major one for me is the number of stalkers, weirdos, and just plain psychos who seem to stalk the cyber halls of BDSM sites. From strange Doms you've never met writing you without preamble and ordering you to "obey your new master" and move to his hometown, to rude people who feel the need to attack you, to strange couples from your area who contact you and say they're looking for a "third" and want to interview you.... there are a lot of weirdos out there.

The second downside, and one that doesn't bother most non-Christians but bothers me, is that a lot of these sites feature a lot of nudity. And when I say nudity, I mean porn.... not tasteful art. I'm not sure why, but apparently since people on these sites are letting loose their "true" kinky selves after the repression of their dail

y vanilla lives, they feel the need to show their "kinkiness" by posing naked. From pictures of breasts to penises to vaginas, from oral sex to vaginal sex, you'll see it all. Personally, I don't like it. Being naked doesn't prove to the world how "kinky" you are. Also, I'd rather talk to new friends without having to see their penises. But on all these sites, nudity is an unfortunate fact of life. (At least, until someone starts an online fetish community with no nudity--hint, hint!)

Of course, I understand a lot of people on these sites risk their careers, families, friendships, and church lives if they get discovered on a BDSM website, so they don't want to show their faces. I solve this problem by posting profile pictures of myself that show cute art, my cats, my feet, my profile, or some other non-nude part of me that doesn't completely show my face.

The other downside to these websites, of course, is that on the internet, people don't have to be themselves. When you correspond with someone--and many people begin seriously long-term BDSM relationships this way!--you never know if the hot 35-year-old male is actually a creepy 67-year-old woman, an underage 14-year-old, or even just a hot 35-year-old male who will turn out to date rape you when you finally meet him. When you use these sites, my motto is: be careful, be careful, be careful!

My advice is to never use these sites to find a BDSM relationship. Relationships should be based on mutual love, respect, and common beliefs and values. Kink is something you introduce in later. Kinky Christians should always be searching for a fellow Christian mate first, and worrying about the kinky part second. Don't get me wrong: they're both important, but God is pretty clear that you need a Christian in a marriage, and He never mentions having a compatible sexuality as a prerequisite for marriage.

But if you don't use these sites to find a relationship, they can be great learning tools. Since I've never tried to find a partner online, I've been spared the agony and heartbreak of trying to wade through all the crazy internet weirdos to find "The One." I can just sit back, relax, and make friendships, post to interesting conversations, read about fetishes and kinks, and be an active member in an online fetish community without the drama. Of course, even those of us whose profiles clearly say "Taken" will still get the occasional "Hey, I'm a Dom and you're a sub, so you wanna have sex?" messages, but they're easy to delete and ignore when I already have a happy, healthy relationship at home.

In short: the internet kink community can be a bane to your existence, or a fun hobby where you meet cool people from the safe anonymity of your home. Use it safely, be smart, and don't meet strangers from the internet. There's a lot to learn on these sites, so have at it and have fun!

7/11/2009

Leadership for Christian Tops

As a Christian top, how do you lead?

The answer: Spiritually, physically, emotionally, and mentally.

You can't have a fulfilling sex life unless you have a fulfilling marriage, and you can't have a fulfilling marriage unless you have a fulfilling relationship with God. This may seem odd to the non-religious folks out there, but it's true. God created marriage to be a symbol to the world of His relationship with His Son. God created sex within marriage to by a symbol of the Holy Spirit, the life-giving force in the world, and to promote unity and love inside the sacred sacrament of marriage.

Of course, the Bible places the husband in the position of leadership over the wife. It doesn't mean he's the boss, or better, or superior, or that he can be a jerk; it means that he must love, cherish, and lead his wife, even though she is his equal, just the way God cherished and led Christ. No one would dare to say that Christ isn't equal to the Father (they are the same God!), but the Father still led Jesus while He was on earth.

If the Bible says the husband and wife are equals, but gives the responsibility of headship to the man, does that mean Christian couples can't enjoy a BDSM power exchange where the wife is the Domme?

While the Bible never directly addresses roles within sexuality, I tend to agree with the Christian BDSM website Sex In Christ:

We believe that a man can adopt a submissive and servile role and allow his wife
to dominate him sexually, if it is absolutely clear that outside of the bedroom,
the husband is the spiritual head of the marriage.

If you're a Christian top in a BDSM relationship, the first place you'll want to look for guidance in your relationship is God's Own Word, the Bible.

Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of
the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. -I Corinthians 11:3

Power, in and out of the bedroom, is both a right and a responsibility. The man is not left to lead a strong-willed woman alone; he is to look at the Biblical examples of God's leadership and to mirror that for his wife. As Christ leads him, so he leads his wife. It is a clear heirarchy with Jesus, not the husband, at the top. This is how Christian tops differ from other tops; while other tops may be the "god" of the relationship, a Christian top is only one step in the ladder.

If God is the ultimate leader, what Toppish characteristics does He show in the Bible?

He is strong.
He is protective.
He is a warrior.
He is brave.
He is decisive.
He protects His flock from danger.
He puts God above all else.
He is kind.
He is loving.
He is forgiving.

If you're a top in a Christian BDSM relationship, I suggest you begin a Bible study on your own of examples of leadership in the Bible. You can find many examples of God's leadership and the many, many qualities that make Him such a wonderful, caring leader. He is King, Warrior, Father, Lover, Husband, Friend, Servant, Priest, Pastor, Shepherd, Master, and Creator, and in all these capacities He demonstrates a profound leadership ability that we here on Earth can hope to emulate!

In your Bible study, you might also want to include examples of human leadership. Hosea, David, Solomon, Paul, and Abimelech all showed good leadership qualities. So did Abigail, Naomi, Boaz, and Mary's husband Joseph. Study these people and the stories that have been passed down to us. They all led in vastly different ways, so take notes and decide which ways are right for you. What made them such good leaders? How can you emulate their godly actions?

Of course, the Bible gives us many examples of some not so good leaders as well! Adam, Saul, David, Solomon, and Noah were all human enough that they made mistakes when they were called to be leaders for their wives, children, or kingdoms. Study the mistakes they made and discern how you can avoid them!

You might also try books like Liberated Through Submission, Wild at Heart, and The Dirt on Dating. These are wonderful books to help Christians learn to lead and submit as God calls us to in different situations.

To read more, see the following blogs:

Women and Men Leaders in the Bible

A Man's Leadership

A Man's Courageousness

Leadership Resources

Women and Men Leaders in the Bible

In the Bible, women and men were both leaders. Each individual had his or her own leadership style, personality, and background, but in the end, each was remembered in the Word of God for his or her deeds.

Female Leaders in the Bible

Deborah: a prophet and judge, she led Israel's armies (Judges 4:4)
Jael: a woman of bravery, she ended a war by killing the king (Judges 4:21)
Huldah was a prophet of the Jewish people (II Kings 22:14)
Abigail: seeing danger to her family, she rode out to meet King David and stopped bloodshed from happening with her quick head and decisive action. She later become David's wife. (1 Samuel 25)
Phoebe: in Romans, Paul mentions her as a leader of the Roman church (Romans 16:1)

Male Leaders in the Bible

Jesus
Paul
Abraham
Jeremiah
King David
King Solomon (at beginning of reign)
Samuel
Hosea
Moses
Melchizedech
Abimelech
Boaz
Joseph (husband of Mary)

Abraham left his homeland and family to wander the desert in obedience of God. Jeremiah stayed true to God til the end. David made lots of mistakes, but always came back to God. Solomon made wise decisions, while Samuel gave Israel's kings good advice. Hosea was obedient to God even to the point of forgiving his cheating wife. Moses led a group of unruly Israelites through the desert. Melchizedech gave glory to God, while Abimelech refused to keep Sarah once he discovered Abraham had lied about her not being his wife. Boaz kept Ruth's purity and safety foremost, and handled his marriage to her in a direct and honest way with her nearest kinsman. Joseph didn't want to hurt Mary even when he thought she'd cheated on him; he later obeyed God and uprooted his family to protect his young adopted son.

These men were good leaders. They listened, they obeyed God, they made good judgments. They were decisive, they were honest in their dealings with others. They did not cause others undue pain, they followed the chain of command, and they respected God's law. They were obedient to God and forgiving toward their enemies.

Both men and women can learn much about being a good leader in their relationships by the good (and bad) examples given in Scripture.

Resources:

Religious Tolerance.org

Leaders in the Bible

7/05/2009

Hair Bondage 101

Below is a link to a video by Graydancer on Hair Bondage 101. Graydancer is something of a rope guru, and his website and videos show viewers how to do everything from simple to complex rope bondage. If you can do a basic slipknot and have a spouse (of either sex!) with medium- to long hair, you can follow this simple hair bondage video.

Why would I want to tie up hair?, you ask.

I asked myself the same thing. I can see how tying someone's body would be sexy, but hair? But after watching this video, I can see the appeal. By binding someone's hair, you have greater control over their head and neck, without using dangerous neck bondage or messing with the pretty symmetry of their face. If you like control, or forced oral sex, or having physical control over your lover's movements, binding their hair and controlling their head will give you that.

Graydancer's video has three basic segments, starting with simple and moving to more complex bondage. The first hair bondage trick he shows looks very easy, and I think anyone could do it with a rewind button and some practice. The second one involves braiding and is still very doable. For the last, and most complex, you have to have some patience and materials, but the whole video is very beginner-friendly.

The thing I didn't like about this video was, for no logical reason, both Graydancer and his female hair model are nude. In some BDSM vidoes, I can see why the model would need to be nude (body bondage, etc.), but in this case it just seems pointless. The good news is, you only ever see the girl's head and back, and Graydancer definitely does not have a porn star body. For the most part, the girl's head covers everything but his face and hairy chest, but a few times you can see his scrotum. (Gross.) Why? Beats me. Maybe they thought making psuedo-pornographic BDSM videos would market them to a bigger audience.

Oh, and at the end the model pretends to give head to Graydancer. Again, a superfluous little addition that doesn't really add anything to the video.

If you can get past the nudity and the hairy man-chest, this video really is quite easy to understand and would be a good place to start for rope bondage beginners.

If you're interested in rope bondage or trying out hair/rope bondage, check out Graydancer's video. And be sure to come back and leave a comment telling me what you thought of the video and what you'd like to see more of on my site! :)

Rope Bondage Play Last Night

My Dom and I haven't done BDSM in a while. Life gets in the way---work, school (for him), family here for my birthday, getting rid of the cats' fleas. Yes, it always sort of shocks me when the super-sex-blog writers have lives apart from being in scene 24/7, but they do, and so do I.

Last night I was craving some BDSM. I wanted to feel afraid, I wanted to feel excited, I wanted to scream. Strangely, I also wanted to make him scream (he said no).

I'm a talkative bottom, so long as I'm not in sub space (which is rare for me), and last night was no different. I complained and guided him through it: "Nooo, I don't want to be slapped! Kiss me!" We've decided to cut the sex out of BDSM for a while, which I think is good, because BDSM was becoming predictable: rough me up, make me wet, vibrator. Rough me up, make me wet, vibrator. You get the pattern.

I thought it would be a good idea if we took sex out of it, and he agreed. This way we could experiment with more physical sensations--hitting, teasing, slapping.

First, he did one of his favorite things, nipple clamps. He also did one of my favorite things, being tied up. I'm not sure why, but being bound just adds a heightened sense of awesomeness to a scene for me. The more places I'm bound, the better I like it. I think I feel that control has been taken away from me, so I don't even need to try to fight it like the independent, stubborn woman I am. I like the relaxation of lying on the bed, completely immobile, and waiting to see what my Dom will do to me next.

The nipple clamps he bought for me are awesome--they don't cause too much pain, they come in many pretty colors (yay!), and they are hard plastic so they don't permanently damange my skin. I was gasping and twisting and moaning, torn between turned on and incredibly hurt. I asked him to put one on my clit, which felt amazing. It's strange, because on the rest of my vulva, clamps hurt!!!, but right on my clit they just feel good. Yum.

Once we were done, my energy was high and my adrenaline was pumping. I begged him to let me spank him. I wanted one of us to scream, and I'm not a screamer. But my Dom has no desire really to switch, so he said no. :( Well, I wanted one of us to scream, so I asked him to take me into our guest bedroom (that bed has a headboard) and tie me up and make me scream.

I settled comfortably on the bed and asked for my gag. I love my ball gag---like bondage, it makes me feel so much more helpless and into a scene. Without it, I still have the power of speech: I can talk, control, command, beg, whine, and basically attempt to control the scene. But once the gag is in, my power of speech is lost. I feel (and therefore look) much more helpless. I can bite down on the ball, which helps me deal with more pain, and I can only whimper and scream to communicate. In addition, the ball gag forces my mouth open, so when I'm facedown I get salivia all over the bed---it's terribly humiliating and hot.

Then my Dom tied me up. He was just playing with the rope, but I was super happy beca

use this was the first time we'd done any real rope bondage beyond hands and ankles! Before I knew it, my whole body was covered with rope. Each wrist was tied to an ankle, rope was going up my neck and over my shoulders, around my stomach, into a V down my vulva and snugly rubbing my bottom. I was held fast in a fetal position with my gag on, and we were ready for play.

I'd never been tied up like that before, but I loved it. Sure, it was uncomfortable at times, and required patience as my Dom tied me up, but it was so nice. It makes me think I might enjoy Shibari, a decorative type of Japanese art bondage often used in BDSM. In that position, I was helpless to move or squirm away as he hit me; I could do nothing as he roughly picked me up and put me in whatever position he wanted me; and my Dom could grab one of the ropes and force me into a certain position for better aim at a certain body part.

He started out with some light slaps with our slapper. I am pretty afraid of the slapper because hard slaps hurt a TON, but I enjoy light and medium slaps. They increase my skin's sensitivity to touch and keep me totally focused on what's happening to me. After a while, he started hitting me harder and I started whimpering, then shrieking, through the gag. Then he put the slapper down and brought out a leather belt. One of the great things my Dom does during scenes is using lack of light and my glasses to make sure I can never see what's coming next til it's right in front of my face. This element of surprise makes it much more deliciously frightening for me! My eyes got huge and he laughed down at me, saying, "Do you have any idea how pitiful you look?" He used the belt some to scare me, but it never really hurt too much.

My Dom roughly wrestled me into several positions. I loved the helplessness! (Of course, I say this now, but at the time I was just scared.) He put me on my stomach and thrust into my raised buttocks through his boxers, talking dirty to me as he did. It was an incredible turn on! A few times he even rolled my bound body right to the edge of the bed. I screamed in so much terror that at one point he stopped the scene because he thought he'd pulled a rope too hard and hurt me. When he asked if he'd hurt me, I simply shook my head and pointed in terror to the edge of the bed. It was so scary to be bound like that in the fetal position, knowing if he let me fall I'd be completely helpless to protect myself as I fell! Several times he pulled me past the point where gravity should have taken over, letting nothing keep me from falling but his body holding me up. It scared me to death!

Once we were done with that, my right ankle was starting to really hurt from the ropes and being pulled on so much, but I was loving the scene. I love the challenge of wondering if he'll be able to make me scream.

He put me on my stomach, bottom up, took off the ball gag, and started to use the wooden paddle. But he went too fast and too high up (near the tailbone hurts much more than near the thighs!) and I couldn't take it. I think if he'd gone slowly and steadily, letting the pain build up, I could have screamed, but this was too fast. Plus, my gag was out and I could talk again; for some reason, this lowers my tolerance since I start to concentrate on talking myself out of the beating rather than just on enduring it. I started shrieking for him to stop and I safeworded. We were done!

Of course, by then my right ankle was bruised and killing me. I'm not sure if it was too tight or just got yanked around too much, but he quickly untied me while I laid still and whimpered for him to be careful of my ankle. When we were done, he kissed my ankle and we had a shower.

After a scene like that, I always love the rope burns that stay on my wrists and ankles for a while after the scene. I feel so sexy, looking down at them and feeling a little bit owned. I also loved being tied up so much, and am really looking forward to future bondage sessions that go beyond just wrists and ankles--though perhaps with padded cuffs on my ankles might be a good idea next time! I'm hoping we can try a similar scene again soon (tonight???? hmmm....) so we can see if slow, steady spanks can get me to my limit and make me scream. Yummm....

I'm working on a series of blogs about leadership for tops in BDSM, so please be patient as I continue working on those posts! Once I've finished the series, I'll post them all at once, so check back soon! Til then, adieu!

7/03/2009

BDSM Acronyms

I get so frustrated reading BDSM blogs because people don't explain the acronyms they use. It kills me! So to help you out in your sex-blog reading, here is a short dictionary of common acronyms in the fetish world. Note: if my blog has a post on this topic, I've included a link.

RACK: risk-aware consensual kink
SSC: Safe, sane, and consenual
AB: adult baby
ALB: adult little boy
ALG: adult little girl
FT: full-time
PT: part-time
PE: Power exchange
FTPE: full-time power exchange
T/b: Top and bottom
D/s: Dom and sub, Domme and sub
M/s: Master and slave, Mistress and slave
BDSM: bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, and sadomasochism
24/7: full-time
CBT: Cock and ball torture
K9: puppy play
DM: dungeon monitor
CDD: Christian domestic discipline
DD: Domestic discipline
OTK: over-the-knee spanking
BBW: Big, beautiful women
BHM: Big, handsome men
WIITWD: What it is that we do (=kinky sexuality)
YKIMK: Your kink isn't my kink, but your kink is okay.
YKIMKBYKIOK: (longer version of the above)

Thanks to Wiki's Glossary of BDSM and Fetlife's Fetishes for help with this post!

7/02/2009

Leadership Resources

To learn more in your quest for Christian leadership in your marriage and BDSM/sex life, consider the following links.

Websites
Christian Leadership by ChristianLeadership.net
Equally Yoked?: What is Spiritual Leadership? by SheWorships.com
A Husband's Spiritual Leadership by Dennis and Barbara Rainey
The Marks of Manhood by Dr. Albert Mohler
Spiritual Leadership in the Home by Rusty Miller
Steps to Being a Christian Leader in Public and Private by Tammy Lou Waite
Twelve Traits of Christian Leaders by Xenos.org

Videos
Biblically Deal with Problematic People
Consequences for Those Difficult People
Do Not Tolerate Evil People
Don't Explain--Take Responsibility!
How to Set Limits in Leadership
Leaders Need the Right Travelling Companions
Learn to Question Authority; It Makes Great Leaders!
The Process of Dealing with a Fool
Traits to Avoid as a Leader

Books
The Dirt on Dating
Liberated through Submission
The Velvet-Covered Brick
Wild At Heart

Age Play for Beginners

Age play is any sort of sexual fantasy where one (or both) of the partners acts or feels younger or older than they are. You might be surprised how common some age play fantasies are, such as:

high school cheerleader and high school principal
young virgin and experienced adult
angry parent spanking a wayward child

These types of fantasies and sexual play are normal. Any time one person is acting younger, even if you don't necessary think of yourself as being a teenager or child, an age-ist element comes into play.

There is no right or wrong way to go about age play. You can decide to pick an age and act that way, or you can just get into the scene and decide later what age you felt and acted like.

My Dom and I often do scenes with a power exchange, so age play seemed logical for us. It's not a big leap from "boss and hapless secretary" to "cheerleader and principal." And from there, it's a smaller leap still to "little girl and Daddy."

Before we started the play, we never decided upon an age. He just told me to start calling him Daddy (months later, this is still sometimes embarrassing for me!) and I suddenly had an outlet for all those clingy, whiny, pouty emotions I so often used to hide. It felt great! It wasn't that I actually regressed to a younger age, but I was allowed through a BDSM scene to let loose some of those negative emotions I'd been longing to let go of, but that I'd kept inside because they are often considered young or immature in our society.

Age play doesn't have to just be about sex, of course. BDSM scenes can have sex, or not, depending on what you and your partner want. In this case, my Dom wanted me to feel safe and secure. He wanted to spoil me and pay attention to me and make me feel like a treasured princess the way I rarely did with my own parents. It wasn't about sex or having an orgasm at all---it was about healing the wounded child of my past.

To do this, he wanted to just pamper me and shower me with attention. If you think this might be good for you or your spouse, consider putting in an old childhood favorite movie, playing, cuddling, making cookie dough, or simply finger painting. These are all perfectly legitimate activities for an adult that nonetheless will also help you nurture your inner "child."

When I am feeling young, it's not that I actually feel that I've turned into a 10-year-old. It's just an outlet for my insecurities to come out and be reassured by a strong, parental figure. It's wonderful! I don't have to worry about being mature or acting like an "adult" all the time. I can go to my Dom with my fears and insecurities. I can whine, pout, or cry for no reason. And because I'm feeling so young and vulnerable, he can validate those emotions for me. Rather than treat me as an equal, he treats me as a vulnerable little girl. He cuddles me and holds me, reassures me, and calls me pet names. It's a great feeling where I'm allowed to let my inner demons out.

If you're interested in this, you might want to make sure that you and your spouse discuss how you want to approach age play. If you picture yourself being a vulnerable, needy 5-year-old and she sees you being a highly sexual 16-year-old, you might have a problem! Both of you can have your needs met, but it might be best to plan for two separate scenes.

For instance, I once asked my Dom, "When I act young.... how old do you think I am?"

I was afraid he saw our scenes in a completely different light. And I was right! He told me he saw me as somewhere around 12-13. I didn't say anything, but this worried me---because I was feeling about 6 or 7. He didn't ask how old I felt, so I didn't tell him. I did ask him tentatively how he felt about doing a scene with a younger age, and he told me that felt too weird---like being sexual with a child. But it was a good thing I asked, or we'd have had entirely different ideas!

Some adults will even go so far as to be babies. This specific type of age play is often seen as AB on BDSM websites and blogs (AB stands for Adult Babies). More on this later!

Whether you feel like a baby, toddler, child, teenager, college student, mommy, daddy, or babysitter, age play can be a great way to get in touch with a side of you that you don't often share with your partner. If it sounds like it might be fun, broach the subject with your spouse and see where it goes. No matter what, enjoy!

Adult Babies

Adult babies (commonly seen on fetish sites as AB) is a fetish involving age play.

You can also see AB called infantilism, age play, age regression, and diapering.

Of course, adult babies realize they are adults (hence the name "AB"). But they find it kinky or sexy to play the infant to their top's Mommy or Daddy.

Some adult babies enjoy wearing diapers. Others never wear a diaper for their play. Some just enjoy being taken care of so completely by another human being--as a "baby," you don't have to talk, worry, make decisions, or do anything but be cared for and cuddled.

While some partners do incorporate sex into the AB play, others feel it is too "scary" or "wrong" to initiate sex into a relationship that is even pretending to have one partner be so young. It's all up to you and what your partner are comfortable with!

When I first got into BDSM, I was more drawn to the control and dominance aspects of scene play (humiliation, spanking, rape fantasies, name calling, etc.). But the more I get involved in the online fetish community, the more I realize that adult babies are a large part of those same communities. Mommies, Daddies, and babies aren't nearly as common as, say, a submissive girl to a male Dom, but they're out there all the same.

If you are interested in reading more about this fetish from the AB perspective, I highly, highly, highly recommend the blog Pampered Penny. Pampered Penny is a KinkySexLink blog contributor, as am I, and I found her writings this way. At first, I was confused and a little repulsed by the idea of an adult baby, but I've grown to love her blog. Penny is usually an AB or ALG (adult little girl) with her partner/Daddy, but she also plays the Mommy and babysitter. She has an adult job and sells videos and photos from her life as an AB. Penny writes in a fun, unique, bouncy way, and her blogs are very articulate and intelligently written. Plus, some of her stories are just plain hilarious! This one about the time she bought a $300 baby suit to surprise her Daddy had me laughing out loud!

If you still doubt that these adult babies (and their mommies and daddies) are out there, just take a look at our friend the world wide web. You can find adult baby furniture stores, adult baby clothing stores, adult baby communities, adult baby dating sites, and online collections of everything AB. Of course, you need to be 18 or older to view all these sites.

If you're interested in exploring the baby/parent dynamic, talk it out with your partner, be open, and let me know how it goes! :)

Sugasm: The Web's Top Sex Reads

Sugasm is a weekly contest of the web's best sex-related articles, photos, and blogs. If you're interested in reading more adult- and BDSM-themed material, you'll love this weekly post! The best sex blog writers submit their best posts from the week, and submissions are voted on and passed on to you. Follow the links below to explore this week's best kinky writing!

Warning: Sugasm is NOT a Christian-themed contest, so many writings will not be Christian-friendly.