Alternatives to Collars

Collars are an important symbol for many in the BDSM scene. These collars can symbolize ownership, submission, commitment, love, fidelity, kinkiness, or all of the above; of course, the most common symbol of collars is one of ownership, but it depends only on the giver, the receiver and what the collar means to them.

For a more complete description of how collars are used in today's BDSM world, check out my 2008 introduction to collars.

But some of us don't want to or can't wear a collar in our day-to-day lives. Maybe you don't like the idea of wearing a collar--it seems too like a slave or an animal. Maybe you like the idea, but have a high-paying professional job where you can't just be seen sporting a collar with your snappy dress suit. Maybe your mother would flip if she saw you wearing a collar, or you don't want to deal with your children asking all sorts of questions, or you want to avoid unwanted attention in public. Whatever the reason, there are some symbols you and your mate can decide upon, jewelry that can symbolize the same undying commitment, love, fidelity, or ownership as a collar, without actually wearing one.

If you and your partner are seeking an alternative to a collar, consider one of the following options:

• ring
• bracelet
• choker
• necklace
• "dress" collar
• brooch
• barrette
• hair comb
• tattoo
• piercing
• anklet
• pendant
• earrings

My Dom and I have been playing around with options for piercings no one else will ever see (nipples, back, clitoral hood), but that will have the same meaning as a BDSM collar for us. Piercings or tattooes can be permanent markings that, unlike a collar, are easy to keep discreet. Other people simply pick any special piece of jewelry and give it its own special meanng. This jewelry can be worn anywhere, with anyone, and no one else will know its private meaning for the two of you.

For an idea of some of the cool kink jewelry sold by online stores, continue below!

PureTNT.com is an online store selling BDSM jewelry. Below are some of their BDSM rings, with prices.

(Left) BDSM Symbol ring, $30.00

(Right) Slave ring, $35.00, also available with Submissive, Master, or Mistress inscription.

PureTNT also sells earrings, bracelets, charms, pendants, anklets, padlocks, necklaces, and collars that are specifically made to look like dressy chokers for public wear.

Below, Rosybottom.com sells collars disguised as chokers/necklaces, keyrings, necklaces, bracelets, anklets, and cuffs. They also have a cute little feature where you can send amazing "spank me" e-cards to your friends for free! These crystal-and-chain bracelets are $28.00 at Rosy Bottom.

Chainmail and More Leather Store specializes in BDSM chainmail (slave cuffs linked with chain to other body parts), but these chainmail headbands, necklaces, bracelets, earrings, and chokers
can be worn without attracting too much attention. The store also sells chainmail arm bands, body sets, headveils, wrist-to-hand decorators, ear cuffs, waist and belly chains, and barefoot sandals. To the right, this leather pride necklace is $18.oo.