In books like Fifty Shades of Grey, as well as online kinky erotica, you'll find a lot of perfect scenes. Scenes that go exactly the way both Dom and sub want them to. Scenes that always end with mutual orgasms.
Let's have a reality check.
Sometimes scenes don't go that way. Sometimes scenes are horrible for me because they're a whole lot of pain and no pleasure. That is what my Dom wants, or maybe he didn't read me so well that time, or whatever. Sometimes scenes are pleasurable but not that much and I'd honestly be happier with a good book and a cold soda.
I've blogged about the ups and downs of our BDSM explorations, from the time my cat ruined our rope play to the first time we tried bondage and my Dom ended up bleeding profusely.
Romance novels, movies, and even our own BDSM community with all its focus on never-going-to-come-true erotica set us up to be disappointed. Sure, erotica can be very sexy (myself, I love the spanking stories from Domestic Discipline) but it doesn't always equal real life, where in fact I hate being spanked and get mouthy and angry real fast.
2 comments:
This is great thank you for posting. My first scene is tomorrow and I feel better knowing that things dont always go as planned nor are they always expected too. :)
BT
@barelytrained,
Welcome to real-life BDSM! Enjoy the ride, because it is much more fun to have real-life problems and work through them than "perfect scenes" you read about.
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