He Trains Me Because He Loves Me

A few days ago, my Dom put me into subspace with just a few words.

I was so impressed by this that I felt the need to write a blog about it.

I feel close to him when he gives me a new rule or talks to me about my training. It gives me a dreamy, safe feeling just like subspace. It's really sexy to me and I can quickly descend into subspace from there.

On the other hand, I don't get all subby and dreamy just based on any words. He can give me a general command, like to go pack his lunch or to quit whining or just something he wants done that day. They don't really do much for me. Oh, I understand they do something for our relationship, like giving me practice submitting and showing his dominance in little ways, but they generally make me scowl or whine before doing them, not get dreamy and turned on.

Obviously, we're still working on the submitting part and we still have a ways to go on the submitting with a good attitude part.

But when he gives me a new rule, or discusses my training with me, I find it very sexy. When we wrote out our CDD rules a few years ago, I was so turned on by the end I thought I would die. (Of course, the actual implementation of those rules was way less sexy in real life!)

Why do I get dreamy and see him as my Prince Charming?

I think it's because he's engaging in our relationship. He's showing initiative and leadership. I like both those things. They make me respect him more. And respect, in my experience, breeds love and intimacy, not to mention goodwill and attraction. When he tells me a new rule, answers all my questions about it firmly and without backing down, and already has a plan in place to discipline me if I don't obey it in a certain amount of time, I feel loved and cherished. This means he put time and thought into coming up with a boundary. This means he loves me and cares about me as a person, because he has taken the time to analyze my weaknesses and devise a plan to tackle it. This means he is showing active leadership, loving me and leading me into a better marriage for us and a better life for me. He hasn't waited for me to say, "I noticed I've been gossiping a lot lately; I really need to stop." Instead, he has paid attention to me on his own, noticed some stumbling block in my own development or my relationship with God or him or someone else, and all on his own decided I was important enough for him to step in and steer things in a more positive direction.

I really can't imagine being more loved and cherished than that.