A Right or Wrong Way to Dominate?

"Do it the way you want to, otherwise you become a slave to the role of Master."

A lot of Doms and Masters want to know, "Is there a right way to dominate? A wrong way?"

Well, here's my answer:

There is no right way to dominate.

There are, however, some wrong ways to dominate.

Here's my logic: there is no "right way" to do something as personal as dominate another human being. Every Dom and Master will bring his (or her) own personality, strengths, weaknesses, goals, experiences, and styles to a relationship. Some will be very laid back, others harsh, others affectionate and playful, others stern and demanding. Some will be all four at different times! There are almost infinite ways you could dominate someone, and if that style makes both of you happy, it's okay.

On the other hand, there are definitely wrong ways to dominate. If you are not consistent, or if you are weak. If you are an asshole instead of a Dominant (you'd be surprised how often the two are confused by new Masters). And especially, especially this: if you are abusive. When your domination starts being nonconsenual, and about your control and power trip at the expense of your slave/sub, then it becomes abusive. Some examples would be beating your sub because you're angry, verbally abusing her, or harming [not hurting] her. If you cause damage to her psyche or body, that's not good domination. Masters want something out of the relationship for themselves, of course, but they must also give. They are responsible for the wellbeing of another person, and she is his treasure and greatest achievement. As he shapes her into the person he wants her to be, he must also ask, Is this who she wants to be? Is this is her/our best interests? Will this make her a better person in the long run? If the answer is no, you have a problem.

But some Doms and Masters think there is only one right way to dominate. However, do it the way you want to.

Do you want to give commands? Do it. Would you rather ask politely? Do it. Would you rather have your slave sit and you do it yourself? Do it. You have the power in the relationship, and that means you can choose how and when and where you want to wield it.

Be safe. Be sane. Be consenual. Always keep in mind the best interests of this being you love, who has given you control of her life. Enjoy the control. That's why you're Master.