The statue pictured here in "The Rape of the Sabine Woman" by Giambologna. I'm no art history major, but when I first saw this sculpture in a museum in Italy, I was struck and saddened by its beauty. The scene is haunting, and the woman is both being physically overcome and yet lifted up and cherished.That's the miracle of submission. You are overtaken and conquered, but you are elevated and loved.
A lot of women want to be submissives, but it's not naturally their personality. Maybe they have a dominating job where they are in charge of dozens of other people. Maybe they are a force to be reckoned with in their homes and in their communities. Does that mean they can never be submissive?
I have to say the answer is no, because 1 Peter 3:1 says:
Wives, be submissive to your husbands.
Even in non-Christian circles, there are many, many women who are strong, valiant, and dominating, but they want to be taken care of and conquered by a man. They don't want to have to be weak to be conquered; they want to be overcome by a man even stronger and more dominating than they are. (For a look at some non-Christian websites on male leadership and female submission that are gaining in popularity, look up Taken in Hand, The Surrendered Wife, or Domestic Discipline.)
If Paul tells all women, even the strongest and most dominanting of us, to submit to our husbands, I have to believe that it's possible. Through God, all things are possible.
How? I have no idea. You'll have to ask someone with more experience in Biblical submission. I'm still trying to wrap my head around it myself.
I don't want to submit to a weak man. I don't want to be a doormat or be treated like a child or inferior. I don't want to offer my body, mind, heart, and soul to a weak, indecisive, passive man. I believe I am worth more than that.
Instead, I long to be conquered! I want to be taken care of by someone who is a match for my strength, my tenacity, my stubborness, and even my forceful personality. I want to feel conquered, safe, dominated, and submitted.
Perhaps, instead of calling myself submissive, I should call myself conquered. That's what I want to be. What does "being conquered" entail? I'm not sure. I am easily swayed by groups on Taken in Hand and Fetlife that try to convince me a certain way is right or wrong. I'm not terribly decisive myself. Does it mean he spanks me when I misbehave, or does that make me too like a child and make me act beneath my dignity as a Christian woman beloved by my husband and Christ? Does it mean there are consequences for bad actions, or simply calm discussions? How does my husband show his power? How often do I need it displayed so I can feel safe and conquered? How much time and energy will that take away from him?
In the end, the answer to all these questions is up to my husband, with direction from the Bible and the Holy Spirit, of course. It is up to him to decide how, when, where, and how often he exercises his authority in our lives. For me, just sitting around and waiting for him to make a decision is killing me. But I am eager to be loved, to be safe and secure, to rest securely in the arms of a strong man who has conquered me yet again that he may love me even more.
To submit? Or to be conquered?
I guess I want both.
1 comment:
YES! This is how I feel as well. I want to be conquered. I'm so tired of seeing submissives drop to their knees just because someone says they're a Dom.
I also grow weary on places like Fetlife where the Dom states he wants a sweetly submissive female. That is not Dominance. What's he dominating that she's not already giving? That's a submissive submitting and he's accepting. The definition of dominate is to rule over, to exercise control over. The sort of popular dominance I notice in these places is more equivalent to RPG vs. true Alpha Dominance.
I want a man to be a man. I want him to be protective and masculine and 'take' from his woman, never letting her have the least doubt that he's in control.
I have a highly stressful and dominant job. And because of life's circumstances I've had to have a seriously dominant personality in life. It doesn't mean I'm a Domme waiting to come out of the closet, nor does it mean I don't want to submit. It just means I've got a dominant personality... and I want, no, I NEED an even more dominant, more strong willed, more intelligent man in my life.
There's a post on someone's journal on FL about the whole predator/prey dynamic and I closely resonate with that. It is only in his dominating that I'm able to submit. Otherwise I WILL attempt to take over and get things done, as the saying goes.
Anyway... thank you so much for your thoughts. This is just another link in my self exploration, another piece of clarity.
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