In the course of being a dominant there are many tips and tricks one learns over the course of time and experience. The trial and error of many different techniques; finding out what works and what doesn't. The blog is dedicated to the little nuggets of wisdom I have picked up along the way and would like to pass them on to all of the fledgling Doms out there or anyone who is interested in being on. I commend you for being brave, number one, and number two, please feel free to leave comments to better the collective ideas of the post.
Being a Monitor:
Subspace is a completely different experience than any other for your sub. Personally, I have not ever been there, but I feel I can comment on what I have observed and questioned. This would qualify me in the way that a female sex therapist could explain a male's orgasm.
Your sub is in a strange, hazy sort of headspace that limits them to normal feelings and sensations. They tend to be more like obedient, little beings than real people and resemble those who are under hypnosis. They aren't aware of their physical status, but rather, are more in tune with their emotions and buried somewhere beneath them. This is why, it is your duty, to monitor your sub at all times. They may not be aware they are not breathing or have been hit too hard (to goal is to hurt, not damage) or that they need air immediately. Every year faithful subs meet their Maker, because some foolhardy Dom, who likely promised to love and protect them, was not vigilant in their sub's well-being.
I want to comment on the sub's limits, as well, because they may not realize their bodies are done for. There are several non-verbal indicators they need a rest and they include, but are not limited to: shaking, going limp, heavy breathing, thirst and a quick change in body temperature. If you have any medical training at all, you should notice these are the same signs and symptoms as shock. If these occur, back off, do damage control, and move on. It is nice for you to switch from mean or nasty to giving them pleasure. The contrast of switching will make the bad and good more intense.
Be careful for yourself:
Many avenues of BDSM can be dangerous not only for your sub, but also for you. Mine has written about the bloopers of which I am guilty. The one, which scarred me, literally, is a knife cut that occurred when I was cutting her out of zip ties. The zip ties are great, by the way! The slip on in a matter of seconds, making the subduing of your partner, so easy. However, the risk comes later, because they are hard to get out of, which leaves your sub vulnerable longer, and if you cut out of them you may stab yourself.
Knives are not the only dangerous thing we play with, but needles, electricity, blunt objects, and binding devices are all dangerous. So, be careful of your own sadistic actions!
Be creative:
As my sub mentioned in the Puppy play article, we are frugal people. This, in turn, causes for us to be very creative when it comes to toys and tools in the bedroom. For example, there are items available for purchase, which allow for you to tie the sub's hands above their heads using a doorjamb. I eliminated the need for this by tying the sub up with burn free rope and then tying a large knot about two feet away from her hands. I then put the knot above and over the other side of the door and shut it. Viola! A trapped, squirming sub was mine. Other ideas include, computer cords as restraints and Nail clippers or bamboo skewers may feel like a knife or needle if the sub is properly blindfolded. Use zip ties, instead of handcuffs. If you don't have a paddle, fly swatters, wooden spoons, and rulers are all great house items that double as instruments of torture.
Good luck out there and, as always, be safe!!!
By the way, we are in no way responsible for accidents that occur on your own time.
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