How he ordered me to touch myself for the longest time, sitting before him, while he watched - watched my face, not my pussy, watched me arouse myself for his pleasure...
My husband is currently having me focus more on intimacy. Allowing myself to feel intimacy and closeness during sex, which is difficult for me (a textbook problem for victims of childhood abuse).
This quote shows, above all, an intimacy in the relationship between this submissive and her Master. Now that I'm paying more attention to intimacy, I also notice my lack of it--and this is one area that's hard for me: face-to-face time during sex.
It's one thing if he is staring at my body, but once he wants to look into my face, I get nervous. It feels uncomfortably emotional. Too... intimate. It makes me cringe away. I close my eyes, turn my face away, try to hide my face. Sometimes I even initiate a kiss just so he will close his eyes and focus on kissing me instead of watching my face, or I will hug him and bury my face in his shoulder. These are my sneaky ways of avoiding having him look at my face.
Looking at a woman's body during sex seems normal. She could mean anything to you or nothing at all. You could be looking at her as an object. But when you watch her face, it seems... more personal.
Having my Dom look into my eyes when I am receiving pleasure or pain is hard for me, but it's a step closer to becoming comfortable with intimacy.
Maybe getting to that level is something I can aspire to in the future.
No comments:
Post a Comment