My Dom has been gone for the last 2 weeks, so when he came home this week we had the best time ever. We chatted over coffee and empty plates at lunch (talking = "bonding time"!), browsed the Catholic bookstore in our area, got a lot done around the house, had a BBQ with a friend, and sat outside in the warm sunlight and talked about religion.
All in all, a great time!
When he has been gone so long, I tend to get sort of uppity with him. I forget who is in charge and just get used to doing my own thing, when and how I want. Then when he comes back and tries to re-assert dominance, I tend to frown a lot and complain. Just who does he think he is? I find myself thinking. I've been taking care of myself just fine.
For instance, after reading the Bible verse 1 Corinthians 11:2-16 about women covering their heads when praying (we interpret this as referring mostly to in church) as well as this insightful Muslim critique of Christian women who do not follow this command, my hubby and I decided to go ahead and cover my head during church services on Sundays. Because it would embarrass me, he graciously allows me to go bare-headed when we attend with my mother and family, but otherwise he is usually good to remember to grab a mantilla or scarf for me to hang over my head during church. I don't mind it, and generally I find it helps me to focus more on humility and paying attention in church than worrying about what my hair and makeup look like.
A side note: Yes, I know that many commentaries believe this verse only spoke about women's hair, or that it no longer applies today. However, after in-depth study, I tend to agree with scholars, like those at Words of His Grace, who think this command still applies today. And no, I do not think women who don't wear the headcovering are sinning or being bad Christians. This is simply a simple way that I think many nuns and Muslims today, and holy women of the past, showed their humility and modesty and faith.
It gives me a good feeling when my Dom runs into the bedroom to grab a mantilla (which he gifted me with this Christmas, a very special gift), carries it carefully in his pocket, and then unfolds it and silently hands it to me before the service. It makes me feel like this is something we are doing together, after joint study and prayer, and not just because I wanted to. I also appreciate that it makes me remember that I am under my husband's authority, and not just God's, although of course I'm always under God's first and foremost.
This week, however, I asked my Dom why he has me cover my head during church services on Sundays, but not when I go individually to weekday services every once in a while, and not when we pray or worship at home. The verse seems to be speaking to women in prayer, not just women in prayer at church.
He told me that, when I go to weekday mass alone, he does not mind if I follow our culture's tradition of not covering my head. He says since he is not there, I do not need a symbol of his authority. He likes the headcovering because it symbolizes both my humility as a Christian women (and especially as a submissive), but also my submission to him and to God. My question is: does the Bible indicate that I don't need to wear it when I'm at church alone? Is the headcovering supposed to represent a woman's submission to her husband or to men in general, at least within the church?
I'm not yet sure of these answers, and I'm excited to do some research and learn more.
Either way, it made me happy to sit there beside him and have my head covered, especially since he was the one who ran back inside to get the covering and who helped me make sure my hair stayed modestly covered during the service. It made me happy when he whispered to me how pretty it made me look. This outward symbol of submission helped me get back into the mindset of our D/s relationship as a married couple, even after he'd been gone for a long time and I'd gotten out of the habit of submitting.
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