Pain to Control Me

Some people have places that feel more "submissive" than others. For instance, I enjoy having my nipples hurt. I don't like the pain, but I love the submissive feeling. On the other hand, other women like having their necks bitten or their clits pinched. To each her own, I say. As I mentioned in my last post, my Dom has been gone a lot. He's taken a new job and I'm finishing up my old one, so for 2 months we're living apart and seeing each other on weekends. It's hard, especially since we don't find time to spend real quality time bonding and talking as easily when we're only together for 1.5 days a week. Last weekend, however, we took some time where he pinned my arms behind my back (I like to be restrained with rope/handcuffs because I can't move, but he enjoys using his hands and feeling me fight) and pinched my nipples. Alone, this wouldn't turn me on so much, but when he looks into my eyes and tells me why he's doing it??.... I melt. When my Dom tells me quietly that he knows it hurts and it means for it to hurt, it turns me on so much. Those words turn me on more than touching ever could. I think this is because, when he's hurting me, part of my brain is confused about what exactly he means. There are several options:

• he doesn't realize he's hurting me and is just being inept at the pain/pleasure thing


• he's hurting me because he's an asshole


• he's hurting me because he wants me to feel controlled, to prove that I'm his

If I'm not sure, I tend to assume it's Option #1 above. This just annoys me that he can't tell if he's hurting me or not. Or, given my past experience with men, I figure it's also possible it's Option #2. But when he holds me down and hurts me and tells me that he's doing it on purpose, and that he owns me, and that I'm his to cause pain to as he wants.... ahhh, something about that just melts my heart and turns me on wildly.

Once he's hurt me and told me why and how he's doing so, I'm his. I'll let him fuck my mouth... I'll let him come all over me and rub it into my skin... I'll let him climb on top of me and slide into me as he tells me to serve him. Without that pain and feeling of being controlled, I'd never let those things happen. Yet in that moment, I'm completely his.

Doms.... take the time to communicate with your sub what you're doing, and why, and to make sure he or he knows that you know just how much pain you're causing.

*happy sigh*