1/29/2011

Pregnant Sex

Pregnant sex is no fun at all.

First, you feel sick and bloated and hot. You don't want to be touched at all. And everything is sore. And you are so much more susceptible to UTIs and yeast infections.

But we tried it once... because I felt guilty that my poor Dom has had no sex in the 3 miserable-feeling weeks since I found out I was pregnant.... and it went okay.

He had to go very, very, VERY slowly. And I hate the intimacy of sex, even after over a year of marriage. Those abuse issues, even when you know what they are, can be difficult to work through. Sex apparently makes other people feel horny, good, relaxed, close, and pleasured. It makes me feel stressed and panicky. So he went very slowly.

But the only time I kind of/sort of relaxed was when he put his hand on my throat and chest and pushed down on me. I could still breathe, but I felt controlled, and then I was able to relax.

Of course, then he wanted to know if I could take my shirt off---I hate intimacy so I always, always want to keep at least some clothes on--and since I was feeling dominated I hated to disappoint him, so when I said no I immediately burst into tears.

Then he was very nice, hugging me and reassuring me that he wasn't disappointed, so I calmed down and could sort of enjoy it.

It just seems unfair that sex should take all this trouble and work and effort and strain. It's supposed to be natural and pleasurable, right???? Sigh.

So far, being pregnant feels like having a low-grade fever ALL THE TIME. I don't feel terrible, but I definitely don't feel normal or good. It's exhausting.

I'm honestly not sure how people ever, ever have a second pregnancy if this is how they feel the first time through.

The scary thing is, I'm only 5 weeks along....!

So now it's Saturday, and I can't even enjoy it because I'm sitting here, awake too early, feeling just feverish enough and just sick enough at my stomach to wish I were at least asleep so I could be passing time obliviously. I need to clean up a bit.... fun, fun, fun.

Sorry for the bummed-out post.... nothing much else to write about here.

4 comments:

lovetosubmit said...

Hi,
I stumbled across your blog and thought it was well written. We are a Christian couple and have been exploring "kinky" sex for about a year and a half. I can't totally relate to you, since I am the submissive (husband) and I really like it when she exerts control over me, in the bedroom. I believe that in every other respect, I am the leader of our family. I have a fair amount of responsibility at work, and it is really great to have the woman I love dominate me when I get home.

I was attracted to your blog because you discuss your faith so openly. I would like to post my thoughts on how our kinkiness fits in from a spiritual perspective, but haven't got to it yet. One suggestion is a site that seemed pretty nice, geared towards Christian wives, called christiannymphos... or something like that. Check it out, it might be valuable to you. It is really for women, and my wife seemed to like it.

With regard to pregnancy, my advice is to hang in there. Five weeks is pretty early, and it does get better. My wife was at he absolute sexual peak during her pregnancies, and it was really a very fun time for us sexually. I would say that once you are past your first trimester, things should really start changing for the better.

Blessings!

doule said...

It gets better - it really does.

MrJ said...

but nevertheless... congrats!!

Dee said...

I found your blog through another blog on BDSM library. I know exactly how you feel while pregnant and having sex. Honestly my Master(husband) and I took a break from sex while I was pregnant and after having our baby we only had vanilla sex for the first year. We are finally back to the full swing of things and its been almost 2 years. Having a child is a wonderful gift and the first year you really don't have much time/energy for playtime. I hope your pregancy goes well. I hope to continue reading your blog.