Re-review of the Hummingbird

I've changed my mind.
The Hummingbird from Babeland Toys is actually a pretty great little toy!
See, I am nothing if not loyal. And with my vibrator, I may be a little too loyal. I try other vibes out so I can do reviews, but for "me time," all I ever use is my trusty Wild G Rabbit. That thing is like my second lover. End of a BDSM scene? Get the Rabbit G. End of sex? Finish me off with the Rabbit G. Want an orgasm but too tired to have sex? Have my husband use the Rabbit G. Stressed out and want to relax? Get out the Rabbit G.

I love my rabbit vibrator so much that I broke it once and spent the ridiculous $65 to buy another one and have it shipped to us before our honeymoon... because, folks, it's worth it. I'm not the kind of woman to spend more than $25 on a pair of jeans, but for my all-time favorite, super-duper best friend the Rabbit G, I'll fork over the money!

But I think I started to overuse it. We had sex like 5 times in 48 hours, and each time after he finished, we used the rabbit on me. At first, it was phenomenal. The second time, it was okay. The third... well, it took me so long to come it started to get annoying instead of sexy. By the fourth time, I was whimpering a little bit in protest when my habit-forming husband did what we always do after sex: got out the Rabbit G. The fifth time, I lay in bed exhausted, kissed him on the forehead, and encouraged him to go off to class without worrying about me.

But I still wanted that orgasm.

Obviously, my friend the rabbit had been overused in too short a time and my clit was no longer interested in his attentions. I wondered if any of my other vibes---the ones I tried a few times for a review and then discarded unceremoniously because they didn't match up to my rabbit---would work.

After my Dom had left for class, I spent some time in bed, peering into our Sex Toy Drawer and wondering which one of the sex toys within should be brought out, dusted off, washed, and used. Honestly, I wasn't holding out much hope. But it was worth a shot.

I finally decided I wanted to use this one, a neat little toy that had been my favorite before I discovered the Rabbit G. I looked, but I couldn't find the darn thing! I finally vaguely remembered that it had broken and I had thrown it away since I didn't use it that much anyway, ever since the Rabbit G moved in.

Too bad.
With a sigh, I got out this and this. I figured they would be close to the intense clit stimulation I would need and had gotten used to with the Rabbit G. I remembered having 1 (one!!!) good orgasm with the Hummingbird that I had never, after much trying, been able to re-create. I also remembered that when I bought it from Babeland, I'd been really excited to try it out because it had this yummy-looking clit cradle that I now thought might give me some good all-around vulva stimulation. Just in case that didn't work, I kept out the barely-used Aqua Wand to see if maybe its clitoral stimulating abilities would be better than my first try.

Wow.

Wow!

It took me a while to get the Hummingbird to a place where I was as turned on as I used to get with my trust old rabbit, but once I was there.... wow.

I kept changing the position, feeling the hollowed-out end cradling my clit, then my right labia, then my lips and my clit, then my other labia. I felt my insides swell out and push out that hot, clear liquid that my husband loves so much. (Take that, author of Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot! It is possible to ejaculate just from stimulation on your clit!) Then, I had that wonderful feeling when you know you're going to orgasm. And finally, I did.

Once I was all cleaned up and still glowing from the bask of a new, stronger orgasm than I'd ever had with this old vibrator, I wrote my husband a blog that went something like this:

My clit and pussy and uterus are trembling from the resounding tingle
leftover in my veins from when the little gray vibrator brought me to new
heights and beyond.

So, this is the lesson I learned today: no matter how wonderful and fulfilling and great your one favorite vibe may feel, sometimes it is important to give Old Faithful a rest and try something new, even if it's something you didn't like all that much before. It's very possible for your body to dislike something and a few months or years later, find it terribly orgasmic. Change is good. Change is sexy. Change is the key.


Welcome back, Hummingbird!


Follow the links...
To read my original review of the Hummingbird
To read my original review of the Aqua Wand
To read my original review of the Orchid G
To read my original review of the Wild G Rabbit
To read my original review of Female Ejaculation and the G-spot by Deborah Sundahl
To go to Babeland Toys online store, which sells the Hummingbird, Aqua Wand, and Orchid G
To go to The Adult Toy Shoppe, which sells the Wild Rabbit G

Photos of BDSM Pain

The freedom to dominate and use a beautiful woman for one's pleasure is a rich and voluptuous gift.

And it is mine to give.

One thing I don't like about a lot of BDSM sites is that they are really just excuses to look at porn. I'm not interested in looking at porn, but I am interested in learning about and seeing the sexy, painful times Masters and Mistresses have with their slaves. Below, I've included some wonderful shots of pain and pleasure, without the vaginas and penises and bare breasts showing. And if any of you have any BDSM photos that are sexy yet modest, please do not hesitate to shoot me an email (sexperts.sm@gmail.com) or leave a comment with a photo or a link so I can share your art with other readers!

BDSM Blogger's Coming-Out Story

Did you know that many BDSMers "come out" to their family and friends, just like gay and bi folks do? That's right, apparently it's such a big deal in some families that parents disown you and exes try to get custody of your kids away from you. It's really sad.

I do not have my own coming-out story, mainly because

1. I am not a full-time BDSMer and so it is pretty easy to keep my somewhat kinky desires to myself,
2. My mother and brother are both very comfortable talking about sexuality with me, so while I've never gone into complete detail with them, they both know I like some pain and rough sex, and they both see it as a completely normal desire to want rough sex with your husband on an occasional basis, and
3. my family respects my boundaries, and while they are happy to hear about sex stories I want to share with them, and to give advice, we never really go into super detail about our exploits (I know--ew).

So, I've never come out to my family or friends, although my close friends have an inkling that I write a sex-based blog and know a lot about kink, even if they don't assume I engage in it myself.

However, I do hear a lot of really sad stories about kinksters who "come out" to their family or friends and are completely shunned. Especially with Christian kinksters, some of their pastors and families seem to think that you can't love and follow Christ and have kinky sex, and their families are sadly judgmental. (I'm happy to say that my mother is a wonderful Christian woman who believes that within marriage, anything I want to do with my husband is fine.)

There are lots of sex bloggers on the internet--obviously--and the ones that are good, I try to share on here so my readers can enjoy them as well. There are not many Christian BDSM bloggers, but there are lots of secular BDSM sites that are very Christian friendly: they don't contain porn or anti-religious messages, they don't support wild sex with strangers every time you get horny, and they simply describe the BDSM lifestyle of the author. It can be hard to find BDSM sites that don't confuse BDSM with "porn" (the two are very different), but they are out there.

Today, I read a coming out story by Clarisse Thorn. Clarisse is a well-established BDSM blogger in the Chicago area, and her story of how she discovered the kinkster within herself has recently been published by Time Out Chicago. I've read several of Clarisse's posts, and her frank discussion of BDSM stereotypes is refreshing and informative; also important, I found nothing anti-Christian about her site, although it appears to be non-religious.

Here is an excerpt from Clarisse's first experience with extreme BDSM:

"It's okay," Richard said, "she likes it," and pulled my hair hard enough to force me to bow my head. I do? I managed to think, before thought vanished back into the blur of alcohol and pain. Our friend's face loomed over me, concern sketched vividly on his features.

I closed my eyes.

"Mercy," I whispered.

To read more of her story, "Love Bites," simply follow the link.

And so, readers, I'm curious. Do you have a "coming out" story? How did your friends and family handle it? Were you greeted with love and acceptance or judgment and condemnation?

BDSM as a Sexual Orientation?

I found an interesting article by counselor Bay Whittaker that suggests BDSM is another sexual orientation. (To read her original article, click here.)

The Marriam-Webster Dictionary defines sexual orientation thus:

The inclination of an individual with respect to heterosexual, homosexual, and
bisexual behavior.

Clearly, this definition only includes the popular notion of sexual orientation as being either gay, straight, or somewhere along the continuum between those two identities. Most definitions I found were about the same. However, the British version of Wiktionary defined sexual orientation this way:

One's tendencies of sexual attraction, considered as a whole.

This definition is a bit more broad and allows for "orientations" that are not necessarily related to being gay or straight. For instance, is a straight person into BDSM simply into a different orientation than vanilla straight people? And how do we define the different types of BDSM? Is it a different sexual orientation if you are into baby play, animal play, rape play, physical sadism, or emotional masochism? Those are all very different lifestyles and sexual preferences that are all grouped together under the idea of "BDSM." Also, what about people (like me) who are interested in BDSM but not engaged in it 100% or even 50% of the time? Most of my life is pretty vanilla, so does that make me "bi" on the continuum between vanilla and kinky?

Although this article didn't answer all my questions about labeling BDSM as simply another sexual orientation, I like the idea of labeling kinksters, not as freaks, weirdos, sexual perverts, or sex-crazed maniacs, but simply as normal people whose sexual tastes run a little on the unorthodox side. If that is what it means to see BDSM as another sexual orientation, I support the movement to include BDSM as another sexual choice available to us.