11/22/2008

Review: Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot

Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot

by Deborah Sundahl

Hunter House Publishers, 2003




This book is available at Babeland Toy Store.



This paperbook book is 194 pages of text and diagrams (217 if you count the resources, index, and glossary) but only takes a few days to read. Sundahl is an experienced speaker, lecturer, and video creator in the area of female ejaculation. I read this book because, although already familiar with ejaculation, I hoped to find more about my G-spot. Overall, this book was not what I expected from the cover and online reviews. I will discuss the positive and negative qualities of the book, then give recommendations.

First, this book is highly varied in topics. Whether you are wanting information on what female ejaculation is, how to do it, how to encourage your partner to do it, how to find the G-spot, the history and past science of female sexuality, lovemaking tips, how to get over past sexual trauma, or ways to have more emotional, fulfilling sex, this book covers it all. Therefore, while I was bored with some sections, I enjoyed later ones, so the book was never a total bust.

The book is written in an easy-to-read style, and is very user-friendly. Women who want to ejaculate will get the most out of this book; the rest of us who are curious about our own (or our wives'!) G-spots will still learn something, but would probably be better of buying another book specifically on that topic. In fact, the title, which clearly states "Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot," is a bit misleading, as the G-spot is only mentioned as it is necessary to achieve FE (female ejaculation). So, if you already ejaculate, don't bother.

Now, if you have never experienced FE but want to try, this book is for you. Six of the nine chapters are devoted entirely to teaching you to find your G-spot and stimulate it to orgasm. Step-by-step instructions, diagrams, and instructions on positions and toys that will help are included. Sundahl is very encouraging and upbeat about the whole process, so this is great for women who are too nervous or scared to try FE. Also, men who want experience FE will find some great tips on how to help their wives achieve this in chapter 7.

Sundahl spends a lot of time getting female readers over the "fear of peeing" that I guess stops many women from ejaculating; instead, they repress the urge and send it up into their bladders, where it can cause bladder and unirary tract infections (ouch!). If you suffer from this fear, this book is definitely a good choice for you; I personally was bored by all the chapters dedicated to it because my first experience with ejaculation was when I was 15 and it never once occurred to me that it might be urine. I was surprised, taken aback, and completely shocked, to be sure, but it was immediately apparent to me that the liquid neither felt, looked, or smelled like pee.... so I shrugged it off and never worried about it again.

I was more interested in the historical aspects of FE as opposed to how to force my body to ejaculate, so I was a little disappointed. Chapter 3 was about the historical presence of FE in ancient and modern history, but I felt it was lacking in many areas. Sundahl focused more on FE in ancient tribal religions, emphasizing pagan worship of sex and female ejaculate, rather than a historical account of FE in medical or historical documents. However, I was impressed by the statue of an ejaculating goddess from ancient India, and to discover that FE has been around since 600 B.C., where it was commented on and studied by such notable historical figures as Pythagoras, Hippocrates, and Aristotle.

Too much of the book was aimed at convincing women they need to experience FE. Sundahl claims that ejaculation is "every woman's birthright" and implies throughout the book that women who don't ejaculate (and their partners) are somehow missing some deep, mysterious part of their own sexuality. While FE is great and I never needed a book to achieve it, I think sex would be just as good without it and don't think Sundahl should make people who can't or don't want to FE feel less like a "woman."

As a Christian, I balked somewhat at the decidedly Eastern tint of Sundahl's writings. Like the ancient tribal cultures, she appears to view sexuality and ejaculation as a very spiritual, sacred experience. The book describes ejaculate blessing ceremonies and drinking ejaculate. She discusses "sexual energy" and chakras, sexual healing, Tantric and pagan religious ideas, goddesses of love, and a Creator. She refers to the vagina as a "temple of love" and to ejaculate as flowing waters of feminine fountains. These references to Eastern, pagan, and neo-pagan sacred sexuality may not bother most sex book readers, but may offend Christians.

Sundahl also devotes most of the book to encouraging women to masturbate alone to experiment with orgasm. (She holds G-spot classes where women look at each other's vaginas and G-spots, masturbate, and try to achieve ejaculation.) While any duo sex act is great, I can't really condone weeks of solo masturbation before you share this with your husband; the point of sex is bonding, and this should be something you can explore and laugh about together.

The book does have some fantastic tips for men wanting to be better lovers in general, as well as during G-spot stimulation. I would definitely recommend that every male in the world should read the chapters on men's role in ejaculation, healing the G-spot, and increasing love and intimacy between partners.

Sundahl also does a great service to women everywhere: not only does she insist on the existence of a G-spot and FE that have been denied by male doctors for centuries, but she makes readers feel at ease in their own sexuality. She makes it seem right and natural for sex to be a sweaty, explosive, messy event, with much gushing, screaming, yelping, thrashing, and drama. It is high time women today learned not to be ashamed of their sex drives and physical responses!

For those interested in scientific and medical studies, this book has a great chapter on both. Several studies and theories on female sexuality are discusses in great detail, which I found fascinating--you can see researchers' ideas of female sexuality changing through the years! There are many diagrams of the g-spot and female sex organs, all incredibly tastefully done. I found some difficult to decipher (where is the vagina in this picture?!) but others were very helpful to me, as I am somewhat reticent to stick a mirror between my legs and so therefore painfully unaware of much of my own body's anatomy. The book also includes some great exercises to test emotional readiness to ejaculate, gauge the strength of PC muscles, differentiate among different types of orgasms, and familiarize women with their own bodies.

One thing I did really enjoy about Sundahl's book was how she finally explained that the female sex organ is not, in fact, a disjointed area of sporadic sexual pleasure. Conventional wisdom has told us for years that the clit and G-spot are not connected, most women cannot ejaculate, most women will never come during intercourse, and the clit is the main focus of a woman's pleasure. Sundahl proves these are all myths! Breaking new diagrams show the female sex organ as one interconnected network of pleasure: clit, urethra, urethral tissue, lips, vaginal entrance, G-spot, cervix, and perineum are all connected and networked by erectile tissue. I think both partners could greatly benefit from reading this chapter, as it opens the door to a whole new view on sexuality and offering a woman pleasure in areas we often overlook.

And, I've saved the best for last: although it is only one chapter, this book should absolutely be bought and read by women or the partners of women who have suffered severe emotional, physical, or sexual trauma. Because emotions are so connected to sex, childhood and adult traumas can often cause victims to have sexual reactions, such as emotional distachment, inability to orgasm or ejaculate, pain, or numb areas on the G-spot. I have experienced sexual abuse and molestation in the past, and I almost cried reading this chapter. Her tips for the lovers of these women are fantastic, loving ways to make your wife feel loved, whole, and complete again by helping her heal sexually and open up to you in new ways of trust and vulerability. Sundahl believes the G-spot is the center of emotional/erotic pleasure in women, and this is why many women never orgasm or ejaculate from G-spot stimulation.

If your partner has numb spot, pain, or "intense" feelings on her G-spot, or just doesn't feel anything, or clamps down before an orgasm or ejaculation can occur, or has trouble connecting emotion with sex, or avoids eye contact with you during sexual contact, this chapter may help you understand and deal with this in a loving manner. It gives some great times on G-spot massage and how to work your partner through these numb or de-sensitized areas. While I won't go so far as Sundahl to say the G-spot is the "center of sexual energy" and that your wife's "energy channels are being blocked," it is true that sexual healing often translates to emotional healing as well. Even if she does not, the communication and loving tips she gives could help facilitate communication in any area of life, even outside the bedroom.

That said, I still did not like the focus on so much "spiritual sexuality." I wanted a sex advice book, and this is more of a sexual spirituality book. I thought some of the diagrams were too vague to understand, and the stories of ejaculate blessing ceremonies and strangers performing G-spot massage on women for sexual healing frankly weirded me out. And on two occasions I found errors that are simply the result of bad editing; in a published book, typos and errors are simply unforgivable. I'll repeat again that I don't think women should be forced to ejaculate if they don't want to, but if you want to, it's a good read.

In short, I recommend this for men or women who haven't experienced FE and want to. I also recommend it for those curious about sex and Eastern spirituality or who want to know how to heal sexually from past traumas. I don't recommend this for those interested in G-spot information or hard-core historical background on the subject.

If you want to read more reviews on this book, go to
Babeland.com and look under "Books" for Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot by Deborah Sundahl.

Stay tuned for more reviews!

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