Sadism

I've been reading about sadism.

BDSM is one of those really cool areas of life where there is no "right" way to do it. It's like art: everyone can do it a different way, totally way out there, but everyone can still be right. Some BDSMers are into Christian Domestic Discipline, some are into paganism, some are into pain, emotional mindfucks, getting spanked or paddled, wearing slutty leather with heels, dressing up like a baby, pretending to be a puppy or horse, training a slave, having a servant, getting an orgasm, or being god of a little universe. Some people use the Gorean novels, some use the Bible, some use slave contracts, some use rules, and they all end in vastly different lifestyles and types of kink, but they are all kink.

One that's intriguing me now is the brand of kinkiness that we call "sadism."

Technically, a sadist is someone who enjoys inflicting pain. Maybe they like it for the power trip, or the emotional catharsis, or the adoration, or the sex. Who knows? I'd venture a guess that it's different for everyone.

Just because a sadist finds a masochist doesn't mean they'll live happily ever after. What is the sadist is only interested in making the masochist bleed, but the masochist wants to have her pussy whipped, his bottom spanked, or his mouth gagged? What if the masochist wants to be physically hurt and the sadist wants to mess with a mind and make the masochist cry and scream from emotional pain? There are many brands of sadism.

I discovered a new one of my husband's. He hurt me during sex, really physically hurt me, and he liked it.

Did I like it? Yes and no.

No because it hurt. It really, really hurt me, and not in a good, sexy/pain kind of way, but just in a bad, pain/pain kind of way. I had to grit my teeth and moan. It was not fun. But yes because I liked him having the power to hurt me and the dirty, nasty desire to do so. Yes because afterward I felt bruised, sort, but also enjoyed, weak, and needy. I curled up on his shoulder and went right to sleep.

Since then, sadism has been running through my mind.

The good, the bad, and the ugly.