Treating Your Sub Like a Whore

One of the most fun things about being a sub is getting to be treated like the nasty, dirty little whore I am! We subs are usually one of two things: sex kittens in disguise, or sex kittens. We all have that dirty, nasty, horny little whore in us; we are either open about it or not. Much of the fun of being a submissive is that we get to play the victim while our evil Doms beat and fuck us unwillingly. When the sub is a whore, everyone wins!

This post discusses how to deliciously humiliate and torture your beloved sub by making her feel like an actual whore.

What does a real prostitute do? She sells her sexual services in exchange for something she wants--money, food, clothes, weath, attention, you name it. How do you make your sub feel and act like a whore? You make her one! That's right, make her your personal whore. No, I'm not suggesting you rent your sub out to your friends at an hourly rate, but simply that you force her to act like a prostitute... by making her trade sexual favors and control over her own body in exchange for food, money, housing, attention, sex, and anything else she might want!

The possibilities for this are endless. Read below for some inspirational tips!

Money. If you are in charge of the cash flow--or even some of it--you have a way to control your sub. Make her perform sex acts (that you dictate) to earn money. Does she need money for gas or to pay the rent? Do you control your finances? Money is something she can't go without, so withold it til she earns it. If she wants money for a nice dinner out, "charge" her a blow job. If she needs her allowance for the month, you can go all-out with a several-hour sex session. The point here is to treat her like a whore, not a lover. You make the calls, you make the demands, and she receives no pleasure. She serves you, and you don't care if she likes it or hates it or if it hurts her---you are a total asshole. She services you, and you pay her. Climb out of bed, throw the money on the bed, and walk out to finish the game.

Material Possessions. Just like with money, he who has is in control and she who wants is not. Instead of paying her with money, pay your whore with things. Those things can include items she needs (food, toiletries, tampons...) or things she wants (new clothes, candy, theatre tickets...). Does she express interest in something (those new shoes at the mall)? Great. Name your price and set your demands. Remember, she can choose to say yes or no. If you tell her she can have the shoes for an anal fuck, and she decides she'd rather go without the shoes, no problem. Don't pressure her, and just set another price the next time she wants something. Just don't give in and get her the shoes without getting "paid" for it. And remember, if she is the whore, you are the one setting prices and making demands. She can't lower your price or whine her way out of it. She either pays your price, or she chooses not to, but those are her only two choices.

Activities. Make your sub pay you in sexual favors for activities she wants to do (or you to do). She wants you both to go to the park? Tell her okay, but you want a hand job first. She wants you to take out the trash? Sure--if she flashes you before you go. Making her perform sexual services for you in exchange for favorite activities is sure to make your sub feel humiliated and, let's face it, a little whorish.

Sex. Ahhh, this one is evil! So your horny slut wants some, does she? Make her be your personal prostitute first. Bargain with her: she can have sex if she jacks you off first, or you'll finger her if she takes it up the ass beforehand. Whatever you want, you get! Before you give, you get--that's the rule.

Basically, this can apply to anything your sub wants or needs! If she wants something, see what she will do to get it. At first, your sub may fight being treated like a common prostitute and stubbornly just do without to avoid giving in. That's fine; you have all the time in the world! Let her say no with no complaints from you, but the next time she wants something, name your price again. Eventually, she will want something badly enough that she'll obey your commands and trade her services for your favors. As time goes on, and she gets more and more used to being your personal whore, your sub will become accustomed to servicing you sexually to get the things she wants, and you will have your very own whore in the bedroom. Enjoy.

Puppy Training

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1950s Household

One specific type of BDSM activity is the 1950s household. This is just what it sounds like: a social and sexual dynamic that attempts to recreate the stereotypical male-dominated marital relationship of the 50s. In truth, this activity is more social and relational than sexual, although sex can play a part.

In a 1950s household, traditional gender roles are maintained. This is a type of "power exchange" based completely on gender roles. The man probably works at something "manly" like business, skilled labor, or management. He takes pride in his career and providing for the family.

The woman in this situation probably stays at home as a wife or mother. If she does leave the home, it is probably for her college studies or for pre-baby work in fields such as teaching, nursing, or other "feminine" jobs. Her main responsibility, of course, is her home and her family. This woman takes pride in cooking, cleaning, ironing, and raising her children. She may do outside activities such as volunteer work or being active in a church society.

Children are brought up with traditional values and a sense of the father being the head of the home. The man provides for, protects, and cherishes his wife; in turn, she makes his home a place of comfort and relaxation after a hard day's work.

I've never participated in a 1950s household (I think it lends itself more to a 24/7 relationship, which I am not part of), but from what I've seen, partners participate in 1950s relationships for far more than just sex or BDSM. It is a commitment to preserving a way of life; the focus is on traditional values. In fact, in a 1950s-style relationship model, the most well-known aspects of BDSM (sadomasochism, leather, whips, etc.) may not even play a part at all. This relationship is entirely based on the Dominant/submissive part of BDSM, and is simply a specific subgroup of Dominants and submissives; while participants may choose to engage in other elements of kink, they do not have to. (Of course, this is true of any element of BDSM, and just because the public seems to think all BDSMers wear tight black leather and carry around whips does not mean it is true.)

Alternatives to Collars

Collars are an important symbol for many in the BDSM scene. These collars can symbolize ownership, submission, commitment, love, fidelity, kinkiness, or all of the above; of course, the most common symbol of collars is one of ownership, but it depends only on the giver, the receiver and what the collar means to them.

For a more complete description of how collars are used in today's BDSM world, check out my 2008 introduction to collars.

But some of us don't want to or can't wear a collar in our day-to-day lives. Maybe you don't like the idea of wearing a collar--it seems too like a slave or an animal. Maybe you like the idea, but have a high-paying professional job where you can't just be seen sporting a collar with your snappy dress suit. Maybe your mother would flip if she saw you wearing a collar, or you don't want to deal with your children asking all sorts of questions, or you want to avoid unwanted attention in public. Whatever the reason, there are some symbols you and your mate can decide upon, jewelry that can symbolize the same undying commitment, love, fidelity, or ownership as a collar, without actually wearing one.

If you and your partner are seeking an alternative to a collar, consider one of the following options:

• ring
• bracelet
• choker
• necklace
• "dress" collar
• brooch
• barrette
• hair comb
• tattoo
• piercing
• anklet
• pendant
• earrings

My Dom and I have been playing around with options for piercings no one else will ever see (nipples, back, clitoral hood), but that will have the same meaning as a BDSM collar for us. Piercings or tattooes can be permanent markings that, unlike a collar, are easy to keep discreet. Other people simply pick any special piece of jewelry and give it its own special meanng. This jewelry can be worn anywhere, with anyone, and no one else will know its private meaning for the two of you.

For an idea of some of the cool kink jewelry sold by online stores, continue below!

PureTNT.com is an online store selling BDSM jewelry. Below are some of their BDSM rings, with prices.

(Left) BDSM Symbol ring, $30.00

(Right) Slave ring, $35.00, also available with Submissive, Master, or Mistress inscription.

PureTNT also sells earrings, bracelets, charms, pendants, anklets, padlocks, necklaces, and collars that are specifically made to look like dressy chokers for public wear.

Below, Rosybottom.com sells collars disguised as chokers/necklaces, keyrings, necklaces, bracelets, anklets, and cuffs. They also have a cute little feature where you can send amazing "spank me" e-cards to your friends for free! These crystal-and-chain bracelets are $28.00 at Rosy Bottom.

Chainmail and More Leather Store specializes in BDSM chainmail (slave cuffs linked with chain to other body parts), but these chainmail headbands, necklaces, bracelets, earrings, and chokers
can be worn without attracting too much attention. The store also sells chainmail arm bands, body sets, headveils, wrist-to-hand decorators, ear cuffs, waist and belly chains, and barefoot sandals. To the right, this leather pride necklace is $18.oo.

Punching Fetish

I've just heard about a new fetish that honestly cracks me up: punching fetish. While of course I don't have any statistics about the prevalancy of this fetish, a cursory browse through Fetlife and Google suggests that, while it definitely exists, there are not huge numbers of BDSMers practicing it. Still, I thought it was interesting and worth pursuing here!

Any sort of hitting can be incorporated into BDSM. From what I've heard, probably the most common type is slapping. I've even had a few "vanilla" boys give me a light face slap during making out to turn me on (or turn them on?). My current Dom, back before I had even an inkling this sweet Christian man would turn out to be a dom, surprised both of us in our dating relationship by hauling back and slapping me across the face once while we were making out; he says he has never forgotten my subsequent expression. :)

If you are into hitting, slapping of course is the safest way to go. Many men don't like the idea of punching a woman, afraid they will do serious damage to her face or body, even if they are comfortable giving her an open-palm slap. This is because slaps sting, but rarely do much tissue damage. A punch can break skin, bruise, blacken eyes, break noses, and shatter cheekbones.

The next type of hit you might want to try is the back-handed slap. I've had this done to me, too, and it hurts more than a slap but not so much as to be unbearable. Also, there is something just so deliciously degrading about a man backhanding a woman--like she is his slave or his dog! Yum.

If you are worried about getting into a full-on face punch, let me remind you: your punch will only be as hard as you make it. From what I've read, men who punch their partners are careful to act angry and out of control while actually taking care to measure the strength behind their punch. They often aim carefully for the more solid parts of the face (cheek) than for areas that will break or blacken (jaw, nose, eyes) and stop the punch "on impact" rather than following through like they would if they were fighting an enemy for real. Of course, if you try this, aim carefully! The benefit of a punch is it will deliver a much more solid, thudd-y type of pain than a slap or backhand. Of course, it also has shock value!

Another sneaky trick is to punch as hard as you can, near her head, so she thinks you are actually going to punch her. A full-on punch to the bed, pillow, or wall next to her face will get you a convincing reaction worth the pain in your hand (if you hit a wall; I doubt a feather pillow will do you much damage).

Hitting, punching, slapping, and other delicious hands-on BDSM activities are not limited to just the face, either. Fetishes exist for almost every type of punching imaginable: body punching, face punching, gut/belly punching, ass punching, thigh punching, and--bizarrely--cunt punching and perineum punching (to the former: oww!; to the latter: how do you aim for that tiny spot anyway?).

The Doms involved swear that beating your sub with your own hands (or knees, feet, body, whatever) is a far greater joy than simply beating her with distant and detached toys. The physical connection is greater between the two people, which for some means a greater emotional and sexual satisfaction. Biting, scratching, kicking, kneeing, hair-pulling, slapping, hitting, and punching their subs gives them far greater pleasure than hitting them with a paddle or whip.

If this sounds like you and your partner, have a go! Take it slowly, because some people bruise easier than others. As always with BDSM safety, remember to stay clear of important parts you want to protect, like the head and skull (her brain lives there), lower back and stomach (her vital organs), spinal cord, or anywhere that causes a "bad" pain as opposed to the "give me more" kind. Other than that, dish it out and see what your sub can take!