Christmas Eve

Every year for Christmas Eve, my parents used to take us out to a family restaurant in the area.

It's long since closed, and I miss it, but my mom has continued the tradition of a nice family meal at an elegant restaurant.

This year, she asked if we'd like to get a sitter for the baby or take her along. I said I'd rather take her. It's her first Christmas (I've bought a ridiculous amount of cute baby dresses for the occasion; we'll have one for every party we go to!) and I want this baby I love to be part of our family tradition from the very start.

Plus, since I work, time off is so precious that I want to spend it all with her.

But as this Christmas season approaches, I'm reminded of how much our lives have changed in just one year.

A year ago, I was smoking almost every day. Now, I have a job and a child. That part of my life has forever changed, for obvious reasons.

A year ago, my brother had not moved halfway across the country. This year, my family will have our first Christmas without him.

A year ago, we lived at our crappy jobs in our beautiful home. Now, we've moved closer to my family due to my husband's job, and I'm working full-time and so is he, at two completely different jobs from what we had before.

We're in a different area, in a different home, in a completely different part of the world, much closer to my parents. This has led to a complete switch in my relationship with my parents; it's much, much better with my mother and stepfather, and actually now worse with my dad.

Our different jobs have led us to a very different schedule. We're busier and more tired. We do different work. He travels now.

But the most important difference is this.

A year ago, we were just considering having a child. We were praying about it and had decided to try for a baby on January 1st, when I would be on his work insurance. We were toying around with the idea, but still living like kids--part-time work, smoking, parties, staying up late and sleeping in.

Now, we've been through the most awesome and terrifying and trying experience a couple can go through--pregnancy and childbirth with an extra helping of new parenthood. We've learned to rely on each other and experienced ups and downs we'd never known before.

It's just amazing to me how a mere year ago this beautiful baby did not exist. She was thought of, but not seriously. And now here she is, chubby and laughing and crying with a personality of her own.

She is the most beautiful thing I know.

So much has changed in a year.

Our lives will never be the same.