Difference Between Floggers and Whips

As I was browsing some online fetish toys, I noticed a lot of toys that were called "whips" looked almost exactly like toys called "floggers." I started wondering, "What's the difference, anyway?" I turned to my hubby and asked him, but even though he's a bit of a know-it-all who likes to give me definitions even when they turn out wrong, even he didn't know. I started looking it up online, and I honestly haven't found a lot. But in case you've ever wondered, here is what I did find...

What is the difference between being whipped and flogged? Not much, really. They're both being hit with a long object with two parts: a handle and tethers. And whipmakers don't even really agree on the difference.

Sex toy shops like Eden's Fantasy and Good Vibrations, both of which I like because they have a large bondage and BDSM toy section, use the terms interchangeably. So that was no help. I found two websites by whipmakers that explained the difference, but their definitions didn't agree. According to the whipmakers at Leather Beaten, whips have braided tails and floggers have flat tails. Therefore, a whip will "sting" and a flogger will "thud." On the other hand, the whip makers at Iron Rose said that a whip is any instrument with a handle + tails, while a flogger is a specific type of whip that has multiple tails, usually 9 or more. Therefore, a whip would look like this:

while a flogger is a type of whip that looks more like this:

Either way, most online toys use them interchangeably, so I don't think it matters what you call it. But I'm inclined to say that, from the websites I've seen, a flogger is a whip with multiple tails. The most common flogger has nine tails and is called a Cat o' 9 Tails.

Conclusion: "Whip" is more generic, and "flogger" is a specific kind of whip.

Sales at Good Vibes and Babeland

Review: The B-Bomb Anal Plug

I always like Good Vibrations' products because they are high quality and I know my money is going to a sex-friendly, very positive and open sex store--somewhere I don't feel sleazy ordering from their website. A few months ago, they sent me the B-Bomb Butt Plug, but with all the house remodeling and things being moved around so much, it just disappeared.

So I was pretty happy last week when my husband started looking through the top of the closet and found the toy. Whew!

Of course, we tried it out. It was a fun scene. Instead of warming me up with anal beads (which are smaller than plugs), my Dom just went right into the plug. I was sooo nervous! But really, I didn't have to worry about it. He used lube and went slowly. I kept getting really tense, but he just kept his hand on my back and kept telling me in a soothing voice to relax, and he was right---it didn't hurt. This plug went in easily and slipped out easily, which is one of the great things about silicone. The material is so soft and rubbery, I'd highly recommend it for any beginners to anal play.

Of course, the B-Bomb has a tapered end, like all anal toys should, to avoid the dangerous situation of toys getting stuck inside you. (Awkward trip to the emergency room, anyone?) It's 4 inches long and under 1.5 inches at the widest part, so I feel safe recommending this for beginners to anal play who feel intimidated by something bigger.

What makes the B-Bomb unique among the anal toys I've tried is that it comes with a bullet vibrator. For people who enjoy a little bit of anal vibration, this is a good feature. I found the vibration light, not too strong or intense. Still, while I can enjoy some anal play, I'm not a fan of vibrating in my bum... so this was an easy fix, and we just switched it off. The B-Bomb is a cool toy because it can be used as a vibrating anal toy or just a regular butt plug, whichever you prefer.

Good Vibrations is currently having a promotion where you get 10% off all safer sex products. You should also check out their cool account feature where you can create a personalized "wish list" of all the toys you'd like but can't afford right now or are out of stock. I've used this feature before, and it makes it easy to remember exactly what I wanted when I come back three months later and can't remember a toy's name. The company will also send you a courtesy email to let you know when your listed products come back in stock or go on sale.

Make Your Own Collar or Cuffs

I am so excited! On a Fetlife ad, I just found the coolest site! It's called The Collar Factory. And no, I am not getting paid anything to tell you about it. I just browsed through it and it looks awesome.

The Collar Factory lets you custom-design your own collars, handcuffs, or belts. You can choose your material, the color, the lining, the decorations, the size, you name it---with just an easy click. I went through the system, and with an idea this cool, I expected there to be a catch, like you have to register to use the site, or it's super expensive. But honestly, neither of those were true.

You don't have to register unless you actually want to buy the finished product, so you can play around on there all day without giving your personal info. I was impressed with how many choices there are for the collar. It was really simple to do; just click the photo you like best and it adds that feature to your customized collar. There are leathers and linings in many different colors, so you actually get way more choices than you will when you buy a collar or cuffs from a sex toy shop (which has very small selections) or a BDSM collar store (which usually offers only black or a few other colors, like red).

You can add many different studs to your collar, or different plastic gems, or nothing at all. You can pick the kind of buckle you want. There are even some super cute little skull-shaped studs.

I went through the process and created a basic black leather collar with blue gemstones and purple fuzzy lining. Because the whole thing is custom made to your specifications, I was expecting it to be ridiculously expensive, but for my black leather collar, the price was just $42 (I assume it would be more expensive if you chose purple leather or something more unusual). Honestly, that's about what you'll pay at sex toy shops that only offer unadorned collars in black leather. So if you're going to shell out the money for a collar, belt, or cuffs, you might as well use this cute little website to make your own exactly the way you want them! You'll get far more choices and a larger selection when you make your own with all your favorite colors and decorations, for the same price you can get a boring black one from anywhere else.

Check it out!

Christian Books I Recommend

I'm reading some fiction Christian books this summer and really enjoying them. I've also just finished some BDSM-related ones, including The Story of O, and I've just gotten the Marquis de Sade's 120 Days of Sodom from the library. I'm not terribly into reading it just yet, since I think the subject matter will gross me out, but it is a famous book. Anyway, right now I can't bother with the heretical and blasphemous writings of the world's greatest pornography writer because I'm burning through Timothy LaHaye's Left Behind series. Do I have eclectic tastes in books, or what?

During the summer months, we all try to catch up on our reading. (My hubby is reading the Harry Potter series for the first time ever.) If you want some good spiritual food for thought, here are some of my favorite Christian books. You don't have to be a Christian to enjoy them, for for Christians especially, not only are these books entertaining and good reads, but they offer Biblical insights and can help you get closer to Jesus Christ.

Christian Fiction

• The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. One of my all-time favorite books, although a really deep wade for the non-theologians among us (including me!). I liked it better than any of his other good books, such as The Great Divorce or even the Narnia series.
• Out of the Silent Planet by C.S. Lewis. This trilogy is a sci-fi, futuristic look at Christianity as played out on Earth and other planets. My favorite, favorite of the trilogy is the second one, Perelandra, and you don't need to read the first one to understand Perelandra. I highly recommend it! This story re-enacts the story of Eden on Venus as Satan tries his old tricks on the King and Queen of the new world on Venus. Will these two fall as Adam and Eve did, or persevere and build a world based on obedience to God we here on Earth can only imagine?
• This Present Darkness by Frank Peretti. I love this one more than any of his other works, although his series for teens is also pretty good. Told from a fundamentalist perspective, the book follows the angelic and human characters as they fight demonic influences in the world. The sequel, Piercing the Darkness, is also good. I will say that though Peretti's look at demons in our world changed my life, my husband thought it was just okay and my mother was too freaked out by the darkness and the clear descriptions of demons to enjoy it.
• Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. The story of Hosea retold in the 1800s follows the story of a God-fearing man who struggles to love his unfaithful wife. It's the story of his wife that is so touching as her life changes and she slowly turns to Christ.
• Left Behind by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins. This series is one of the most famous modern-day works of Christian fiction and hit the bestseller list every time. Anyone interested in Revelations or apocolyptic literature will love it. The writing isn't up to par with Tokein or anything, and its told from a very evangelical and anti-Catholic point of view (which bothers me because I'm both Christian and Catholic) but is still a good read that brings to light a very interesting interpretation of biblical prophecy. I'm learning a lot about the Bible as I read this series.
• The Yada Yada Prayer Group. This one is a good, easy story about a group of Christian women with nothing in common who come together to pray and help each other survive.

Christian Non-Fiction

• The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. A must-read for any Christian in (or wanting to someday be in) a relationship.
• Liberated through Submission by P.J. Wilson. This book changed my life when I read it. It's hard to follow, enough that I keep re-reading it for a refresher every few years, and it's terribly simple, but the message of Christian submission is one that is firmly grounded in the Bible and not in popular culture. A great read for married men and women alike.
• The Spirit-Controlled Woman by Beverly LaHaye. I love this book and it changed my relationship with God and myself forever. However, I was disappointed with Beverly LaHaye that she and her husband just basically plagiarized entire chapters from his book The Spirit-Controlled Temperament and put her name on it. Still, I highly recommend this for any Christian women wanting to turn their lives around and walk more in the spirit. This is also a great book for anyone who likes psychology or to self-analyze.
• Too Blessed to Be Stressed. This one is by a black Baptist female preacher and talks about her walk and life.
• Love and Respect by Emerson Eggreichs. This book is a marriage help book told from a Christian point of view. Of course, the author acts as though his way is the ONLY way to have a marriage (nor surprisingly, women need love and men need sex---sigh), but it does have some good points and food for thought.
• And the Bride Wore White by Dannah Gresh. A wonderful book on sexual purity for unmarried women hoping to get married and have a Christian marriage someday. For men, there is a similar book co-written with her husband called Who Moved the Goal Post?
• Sex and the Soul of a Woman by Paula Rinehart. This book was so conservative it made me feel guilty and I didn't finish it the first time, but Paula has a valuable message about sexual purity before and after marriage. This book is especially helpful to victims of past sexual abuse.

Enjoy the summer and enjoy the readings!

Different Types of Orgasm

Ah, the elusive female orgasm. From the Greek word orgasmos, derived from the same word as the English organ, meaning for an organ to swell with lust. We all want one (or want our partner to experience one).

Magazines, books, and movies spend so much time discussing how and when and where to achieve these wonderful orgasms women are capable of. But how many kinds of female orgasms are there? The literature I've read about female orgasms all agrees that women can have more than one kind of orgasm, but they don't agree about how many are possible.

So, how many are possible?

• Three Orgasms: this theory seems to be the main one out there; it is the one that comes up most on Google searches and seems to be pretty popular in books such as Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot. According to this theory, women can have three types of orgasms: clitoral, vaginal/g-spot, and blended (both at the same time). My problem with this theory is that it leaves out a cervical orgasm, which I have experienced and read about other women on the net experiencing, and it is quite different from a G-spot one.


• Four Orgasms: This theory of orgasms classifies them by where they occur on your body: clitoral, g-spot, vaginal, and anal. I like this theory because it doesn't lump g-spot and vaginal together, since they can be different.


• Seven Orgasms: Author Betty Dodson has a theory that there are seven types of orgasms, based on the manner of achieving them. The seven orgasm types are: pressure, tension, relaxation, g-spot, multiple, combination, and fantasy. So if you press your legs together, that's pressure, and if you fantasize your way to orgasm with no physical contact, that's fantasy. The thing I don't like about this one is it gets so broad. Is "multiple" just another name for "tension + g-spot"? What about women who have orgasms from having their nipples and breasts touched?

I'm not sure which theory is right, but my guess is there is no right or wrong number of orgasms. Some women may only have one kind, or prefer the same kind of orgasm every time. Others may have three ways, or four, or seven, or ten. I think it's wrong for some female author who's only experienced three kinds of orgasms to write a book telling the rest of us we're wrong when we claim to have experienced four.