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Compliments Doms Give to Subs

I was so touched by this online discussion of wonderful compliments some Doms, Masters, Trainers, and Daddies have said to their beloeved subs, slaves, puppies, ponies, and little girls that I've decided to share it.



Many people wonder what BDSM really is. They think sexual kink must mean the people are perverted or abused in their past, rather than just creativity. They think about BDSM and figure it must be a bunch of abused women letting nasty, misogynistic men control our lives.



Of course, I hope from this blog you've realized that isn't true. My Dom and I are true equals in real life--we both have areas of strength the other does not have--and we only play at BDSM because we both like it. I get to be turned on the way I want and he gets the same. Everyone leaves happier and closer.



It is a definite misconception that the women (and men) subs in BDSM relationships are not loved and cared for. That they are simply used and taken for granted. Some of these online compliments shared by wonderful women subs made my heart happy. Some of the compliments I've shared are my own, from my Dom. If you are a dom, consider saying these. If you are a sub, read these and feel beautiful. If you are vanilla, I hope this makes you understand why some women choose to find love in BDSM.

1. "Only you could be double fisted, fucked in both your arse and cunt at the same time and then buggered so thoroughly, and then politely point out that you haven't been whipped!"


2. Good girl. I'm proud of you.


3. I'm in love with you and want to spend the rest of my life with you.


4. I will never be someone you used to love.


5. You will never be alone in the dark again.


6. You've done well and pleased me.


7. You are a true treasure.


8. You are my everything. There is nothing and no one more important to me than you.


9. You are an amazing woman.


10. You have done something I myself could never do. I am impressed.


11. I do.


12. You will never be replaced.


13. Your maturity and honesty are your greatest gifts. Virtue is not lost on me.


14. Will you cuddle with me, kitten?


15. I can't wait to spend forever with you.


16. I'm proud of you, and don't know many people who could have done what you did and survived, and I love you for it.


17. You are stronger than you think, and you amaze me.


18. Will you marry me?


19. You really are a depraved, deliciously dirty little whore!


20. Daddy is proud of the way you took that.


21. Whatever I did or said to make you feel this way I offer my apologies to you for you are the greatest thing in my life ...I just want you to know, no matter what you or I say or do, I will always love you without hesitation. Maybe i am not right in my ways, maybe you aren't either, but I do know that after all these years, I know in my heart, I made the right choice marrying you, and never thought otherwise. Yes, we don't see eye to eye, we never will, but my heart sees your heart.


22. You're mine!


23. You are part of me, but without you I am nothing.


24. You belong to me and will never have to make another major decision again.


25. You love me the way I need to be loved---better than anyone.


26. There is no part of you that I don't find pleasing.


27. You make it easy to dream big.


28. You're a slut, but you're MY slut.


29. I love you even when you're broken.


30. I will always protect your love and innocence--well, at least from others. *evil grin*

Happy sigh. Enjoy! :)

Abduction + Rape Play

If you want to be ready for a rape play + abduction scene (that is, any rape play that does not take place in your own home!), a good idea is to prepare beforehand. The more planning and preparation goes into this, the smoother your scene will go. You can even have a to-go kit for later. Some people believe having a "Rape Play To-Go Kit" ruins the spontaneity, but your partner never even has to know it's there... you can keep it hidden in the trunk of your car, for example.
Many people have fantasies about doing rape play with an abduction element. This is because a new background and props can make it seem more real. Being "raped" by my husband in the comfort of your own bedroom is perfectly fine for me (I like the mental aspects of rape), but many other subs and Doms who rely more heavily on the physical aspects of scene to get into their roles need the location, setting, props, and overall "feel" to be more realistic. If you feel that "playing rape" just feels hollow and fake in your own bedroom, try setting the mood somewhere else: a bar, an alley (it's illegal to have sex in public, so make it private!), a hotel room, your car, or a deserted park or forest can work wonders for making the scene feel more real!

To make rape play even more realistic, many people enjoy setting it all up with an "abduction scene." Doms can surprise their subs at work, out shopping, in a parking lot, at a bar or club, at a party, or even at home. Kidnap them (making sure worried bystanders don't see and accidentally call the police on you!), bind and gag them, and force them into a car. If they don't know when or how this is happening, it makes it feel all the more realistic for them---just make sure you get consent sometime before.

One idea is to surprise the sub and force them into a car. A (blunt) knife or just physical force can make this feel scary and real, even if they know it is you. Bind and gag them, throw them into the backseat and cover them with a blanket, and drive them to an undisclosed location. The stranger the surroundings are to your sub, the scarier and more realistic it will be, so try to find a place far from home or where the sub has never been and won't recognize her surroundings. (This may be the only time you want to try a seedy hotel!)

If you don't want your sub to know it's you, you can always wear a ski mask. You can even "rape" your sub in your own home this way--I've found that, when the smell and feel of my lover is off, I can't recognize him at all at first. Your sub is going to know the way you feel, smell, breathe, and speak. You can throw her off by changing these things. For instance, shower with a completely different soap and shampoo, wear clothes that are new or have been laundered in a different laundry soap, and wear gloves to mask the feel of your skin. Wear an aftershave, cologne, or mouthwash completely different from what you'd normally ever wear. Slouch and try to walk faster or heavier than you normally do. If your sub can't see you (e.g. if you come in through a window, walk up behind her, and grab her), it is going to take her a while to recognize you. Why? We subconsciously know our lovers by their height, build, touch, and smell. A high school boyfriend of mine once came up behind me and grabbed me in a tight hug. He was wearing his friend's cologne and mouthspray at the time, and I was terrified. It took me several seconds (until he spoke) to figure out who had grabbed me. Until that moment, I never realized how much we subconsciously rely on smell and the sound of voice to recognize people! If you change your smell and feel, and keep from talking or being seen, you can terrifying your sub into real submission for several moments. Of course, eventually you want her to realize it's you, so you don't scar her emotionally and so she can utilize her safeword if she needs to.

Another idea some people use to make abduction and rape seem more real is to pretend to use date-rape drugs. I say pretend, because actual date rape drugs are illegal and therefore not moderated by any governmental regulations and highly dangerous. (I'm serious--common effects of date rape drugs include permanent infertility, coma, dangerously heightened or lowered blood pressure, nausea, slowed heart rate, dizziness, inability to speak, seizure, heart failure, and death.) However, you can pretend to get this effect by using sugar water on a cloth (to mimic chloroform) to make your victim "pass out," using tic-tacs or other pill-shaped candies, or whatever the two of you decide to make it "pretending" but still hot. You could also waking her up from deep sleep to get that groggy, out-of-it feeling. I have heard of people using drugs--from NyQuil to muscle relaxers to Ecstasy to alcohol to prescription sleep-inducing drugs. I will say, though, that it is illegal to use legal drugs for this purpose and illegal to use illegal drugs, period. You could go to jail for rape because all these drugs take away a person's ability or desire to think clearly and say no. You could also be convicted of murder if something goes wrong and your sub dies, leaving you pleading with a judge that the drugs, rape, and murder were "consensual."

More practically, how can your sub use a safeword or tell you when something is really wrong if she is not fully conscious? Also, before you try anything, you must do research on side effects, allergies, etc. If you simply must try these methods, do your research, have both of you sign a consent form, and think. Have a phone and first-aid kit handy. Learn how to do CPR. Any drugs that inhibit circulation (like alcohol!) should never be used with bondage or uncomfortable positions. Find out if any substances will react with pre-existing conditions your sub has (low blood pressure, heart problems, diabetes, etc.) and how they will react with medications your sub takes (herbs, vitamins, prescription meds, birth control, everything!) Honestly, it is dangerous to play with BDSM when one person is not capable of giving full consent, but before you try anything, you must do your research! In all, it is less work and safer to stick with pretending...

...Back to ideas for rape and abduction! :)

If you really want to freak out your sub, another idea is to have friends or coworkers she doesn't know kidnap her for you. (Get consent before---several months or weeks before, so she's not expecting it!) Of course, for this you need to have some seriously dedicated buddies who are understanding of your kink lifestyle. Make it very clear they are not to hurt her or sexually touch her in any way, and watch from afar to make sure she is safe. You can even be in the car once she is blindfolded; as long as you don't talk and your friends do, she will never know you're there.

Note: if you don't have any friends this close, or she would recognize their voices and scents, you can try having local BDSMers help you out. Make sure you work with people you trust.

Once your friends get her to the hotel room or abandoned woods or whatever, have them threateningly tell her they are going to strip her off and fuck her mercilessly. Then have them leave you to your wicked ways! As long as you don't speak or give yourself away, you can savagely rip off her clothes and rape her, even leaving and pretending to be many people. If your sub is blindfolded and tied, it will feel incredibly real to her!

Of course, if you are going to have your friends abduct your sub, be smart about it. Get her consent first, and write out that you are her husband, what you are doing and why, and sign it so your friends don't get arrested by some cop who misunderstands the situation.

To remember this event later, you can secretly put up a video camera so you and your sub can watch the whole thing later. Another good idea is to play loud, unfamiliar music or have some other noise (a tv, your friends in the other room talking loudly, a tape of your friends pretending to egg you on as you rape her, etc.) so she is less likely to recognize your breathing. If you are playing multiple people, use different scents, different textured clothes, handle her differently (as though you were multiple people getting off on her misery in different ways), use a condom, use different toys, and do different things to her (maybe one is an anal fiend, the other obsessed with her breasts, and another wants to rub his dick all over her before he fucks her). Changing gloves, having shirts of very different textures with different scents (sweat in one, leave some in different people's houses for a few weeks, spray them with different colognes, etc.), and changing gum or mouthwash between "characters" will make it seem real.

Of course, before you traumatize your sub, make sure she wants to be raped and get her consent. Find out what makes her turned on, and if this isn't it, don't do it!





If you want to try abducting her--whether it's as simple as you meeting her at a bar and telling her to get her ass in your car or a complex scenario involving props and other people--it is also a good idea to have a to-go kit ready.

Some ideas for a to-go kit that will make your sub's life easier when she gets to return to real life are listed below. Of course, if you just want her to ride home, bound and gagged in the backseat of your car, that's okay, too!



Abduction/Rape To-Go Kit for the Hapless Sub:

• any lingerie or slutty clothes you want to force them to wear during the scene




• extra change of comfy clothes: shirt, bra, panties, jeans, socks, sneakers




• hair brush and ponytail holder




• deodorant




• makeup




• toothbrush and toothpaste




• any medications your sub takes




• contact solution, contact holders, and glasses
  

Abduction/Rape To-Go Kit for the Wicked Dom(me):

• condoms (in different textures and brands if you are playing more than one character)\




• lube




• sex toys, if desired




• paddles, whips, and floggers, if desired




• rope or handcuffs




• duct tape




• blindfold




• gag




• first aid kit




• emergency first-aid scissors




• hotel reservations, if needed




• ski mask




• blanket for backseat of your car




• map to wherever you're going

Also, if you are going to put this much work and planning into a rape scene to make your sub's fantasies come true (go you!), take some time to think about what you want out of these scene. Do you want her to know it's you or not? Will you find it sexier if she struggles, screams, and runs, or if she goes limp and does not resist? If she is honestly terrified for her life, crying and pleading, is that going to turn you on or make you feel guilty and be a huge turn-off? Would you rather have a sub who fights and screams the whole time, one who eventually stops struggling and goes limp, or one whose body betrays her by getting wet and sticky even as you rape her?

Whatever it is you want and need out of this scene, you need to communicate with your sub to get it. It is highly unlikely your sub will just magically happen to respond the way you're dreaming she will. Some women fight, some scream, some go limp, and others urge you to fuck them harder. Whichever one you want, have some conversations with your sub beforehand. Mention rape fantasies and tell her what you find sexy about these scenes. Share your dreams and what happens in your personal fantasies: what is happening? how does your victim react? what does she do? Does she say anything in particular? This way, both you and your sub leave happy and fulfilled from the experience.

*Note: you must get consent beforehand for all rape play activities.

**Note: rape play is a type of BDSM activity where consenting adult partners agree to pretend to rape/be raped. This is completely different from actual rape, which is a crime, a sin, and morally reprehensible.

How to Shave a Pussy

Ladies, ever tried to do a Brazilian bikini wax, only to find the bumps, rashes, and itchiness "down under" weren't worth the smooth look? Gents, are you curious to feel your lady silky smooth, making it easier to view and taste her?

Learning how to shave the mound and lips can be a seriously tricky business--believe me! That's why I'm sharing with you Babeland's awesome how-to guide, "How to Shave a Pussy." For this and more great how-to guides, browse Babeland's site!

To incorporate shaving into your BDSM play, consider the following: Doms, make your sub shave pubic hair in a way that pleases you (this works for men as well as women). Give your sub directions on how you want it shaved: all parts of it, or trimmed in a certain style and length, or dyed, or all but a strip gone, or maybe with a unique design or your initials shaved into the hair? This can be fun for a non-permanent body marking, humiliation play, or simply the thrill of having your sub's body exactly the way you decree. Also, try this sexy tip--have your sub sit still and shave her (or him) yourself. I know my Dom and I tried this once, and I was shuddering from the vulnerability of being shaved, literally stripped bare, by him: he had me sit in the shower, spread legged, and he carefully and slowly shaved me. I got so aroused by the intimacy and humiliation of it I almost came! It was a really beautiful moment for me...

And so, without further ado, here is Babeland's feature article for this week, "How to Shave Your Pussy."

For many lovers, the sensual explosion of encountering a shaved pussy is irresistible. Sex stars often feature little or no pubic hair. However, many of us are left raw, chafed and itchy when trying to achieve this hairless look. So here are my shaving secrets that will enable you to look like a porno princess in your own panties.

Make the time. You'll never want to do this when you're in a rush. I like to perform these rituals while sitting on the edge of my tub in a well lit bathroom.

Warm up your pubes. Run the water in the tub at its hottest temperature to create steam. Steam helps to soften and relax the pubic hair and skin.

Trim the hair to about 1⁄4" away from the skin. Make a hot water compress out of a washcloth and snuggle your whole pubic mound with the cloth for two minutes.

Study the pattern of your hair growth with your fingertips. First shave with, then against, the grain. Shaving against the grain may get you a closer shave, but it can also cause irritation for some folks. If shaving against the grain causes bumps, then just go with the grain.

Make it slippery. To do the actual shaving, use a brand new razor and a shaving creme such as Coochy Rash Free Shaving Creme or Sliquid Smooth Shave Creme.
Ready to shave? Here are some tips:

With a light hand, start with the lower lips. Rinse the razor after each swipe, cleaning any hair that may get stuck in the razor.

Do not go over the same patch of skin more than twice or use aggressive pressure.

Next, shave the sides, being mindful of the valley created by the groin muscle.

Finally, shave the hair directly on top of the mound. This hair tends to be the thickest and coarsest, so you may use a little more pressure here.
Swab your pussy with warm water and examine for any stray hairs that may have been missed.

Being now hairless, blot your crotch with a soft, dry towel. It feels wonderful, doesn't it? For the finishing touch, either rub down gently with Babeland Lickable Oil to moisturize sensitive skin and delight the tongue, or depending on your preference, dust lightly with cornstarch or Babeland Lickable Dust; this absorbs any lingering moisture and gives it a nice silky finish.

As time goes on, with a little practice, you'll develop speed in your technique. Also the skin will get used to the razor, and likely there will be less irritation.

Soon this habit will become second nature to your bathing routine and maintenance will require little effort. Remember to always wear panties with a cotton panel to keep things clean and comfortable. I think you'll discover many lovely rewards in your new hairlessness. Enjoy!

BDSM in Mainstream Religions

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