There's No Porn in My Kinky Marriage

A lot of kinky relationships seem to treat pornography as normal, common, expected. Women write posts about how their lovers look at porn without them, and laugh about how 'all men are like that.'

Well, not all men.

Not my man.

He doesn't watch porn. Neither do I.

Aside from the obvious ethical problems with spending your time or money on porn, such as the denegration of women or the complete disregard of the sexual health of the actors and actresses, I have a Biblical problem with porn. Matthew 5:27 says:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

So I try not to look at other men lustfully, and my Dom does the same for me. We do not watch porn, either apart or together. We try to be sexually fulfilled by each other. I pray about our sex life. I want God to be a part of it.

So I don't buy the excuses that "all men watch porn" or "they can't help it." It is possible for a man to be sexually satisfied by one woman, and vice versa. Maybe it is something we have to work on, but we believe it is possible and we strive toward that goal.

If we want something kinky, we tell each other. I get inspired by movies or books or blogs, and we try it out in the bedroom. Sure, I find some scenes in movies sexy, but I'm not watching two strangers actually have sex on camera.

Monogamous partners can succeed in monogamy. It can still be fun and kinky and sexy without input from other, completely unrealistic influences.

Just ask the author of Jewish Heavenly Sex, which is often sold in Christian bookstores. He encourages couples to sext, send naughty pictures, write steamy letters, and seduce each other. He even encourages couples to make their own pornography tapes, shared only between them, for use on the man's business trip or other tiny separations.

I don't think pornography is good for my marriage. We try to stay away from it and make our own memories.

Controlling Sex

This week has been really nice.

We've been having kinky sex. And I've been sleeping better. Fewer nightmares, I don't even remember my dreams. It's so nice!

The bad thing is it wears off after only a night. If we don't repeat the, erm, performance, the next night, I don't sleep as well again and I get nightmares.

I don't know if it's the rush of endorphins afterward, or the high of subspace, or the feeling of being totally emotionally and physically drained and then taken care of afterward.... but it makes me sleep so much better.

The 300: Rise of an Empire movie really put me in the mood. That sex scene... just, yum. And when I kept re-watching the scene on YouTube, I kept getting lots of rape and forced sex scenes (from movies, not actual porn) in the suggestions section. So I kept watching and I was definitely mentally ready for some return to our old kinkiness.

He did not disappoint. One night he took me, forced me, hurt me, bruised me, bit me... and when I was done, he kept going. I felt like I was breaking apart at the seams. I knew I couldn't take any more, but he pushed me farther anyway. At one point he had me by my throat so tightly in the shower I almost passed out. And then afterward.... sweet relief. I sank into his arms and slept like a baby.

Last night he used and controlled me some too, but not so near to my breaking point. I was grateful. I still slept great. I don't get turned on easily at all by vanilla sex, but something about being controlled and forced to do things to him.... it really gets me.

Maybe tonight I'll get lucky again. ;)

300 Rise of Empire Sex Scene

BDSM is not often portrayed in movies. When it is, it's often campy and overdone, more as a joke than anything else. Most sex is movies is very vanilla.

Not so in the movie 300: Rise of an Empire. Eva Green and Sullivan Stapleton give a great sex scene, and I don't often say those words!

They both play archenemies, meeting to fight and make love and win dominance over the other.

Sex scenes in movies don't normally do much for me (I prefer novels), but yummm. I watched it like give more times after that. Maybe more. Okay, definitely more.

But other rape scenes don't really do it for me. Like the recent rape scene between Jaime and Cersei Lannister in A Game of Thrones. Or the famous rape scenes of Clockwork Orange or the lipstick scene with Margaux Hemingway forced-sex scene.

Why did I find this movie alluring? Because both characters were strong. Both fought for dominance. The man was obviously physically stronger and was going to win, but she gave him a good run for his money.

Are there any sex scenes you all particularly enjoy? Leave a comment!