2/28/2013

Being a normal weight

Being a mom is great, but it makes me tired. I weight 25 lbs more than I did when I met my husband. (Only about 10 of that is pregnancy weight, but still.) My once-pert breasts are now saggy and soft. My flat tummy has a tiny pooch. My size-5 jeans don't fit anymore. Neither do my 7s. Today I found myself even googling "Liposuction" and "Body Scultping." Like I have $1500 dollars to spend on lipo. *snorts*

One thing I like about the kink community is that thin doesn't matter. You can be sexy whether you're a size 12 or 20. It's all up to personal preference.

My Dom thinks I look great now. I think I look fine. I'm not thin but I'm not overweight. But I miss my old body.

I have tried eating less, but life just doesn't seem to be worthwhile without my Dr. Pepper and the occasional brownie. I hate health food. I love cookies and brownies. I hate vegetables. I love dessert. I need my Dr. Pepper to have the energy to get through the day. A water or diet soda just isn't as fulfilling. Diet drinks are gross. Non-sweet tea is gross. Water is not fulfilling. Neither is crunching on veggies instead of a real snack. I don't eat terribly, but cutting out everything (or most things) I enjoy just doesn't seem to work. When I've tried it, I'm miserable, and I don't even seem to lose weight. The internet declares this is because I am not overweight, so my average-size body wants to cling to its final fat stores. Apparently it would be easier to lose weight if I had more to lose. (?!!?)

I'm just so frustrated. I'm willing to cut back on soda and sweets, but not give them up totally. I don't eat dessert every day. I eat regular-sized, fairly balanced meals. Yet I still don't lose weight. Do I have to give up EVERYTHING? Start eating tiny portions and healthy snacks (yuck) and downing protein shakes (tried it, didn't work, may throw up if I ever have to drink another chocolate protein drink)?

I'm so discouraged.

6 comments:

Emi Jones said...

I am so with you on this! I am 25+ from my pregnancy and I feel it everywhere... I LOVE LOVE LOVE sweets so much. It's hard to cut back, but I feel like it's time for me to get it in gear... *(sigh)*
There are just so many foods I love!
I'd love to try lipo, but like you said - WAY too much money!
I want a tummy tuck too, along with the lipo! LOL

Nisza Lirra said...

Try to do some exercises. It's better than eating and... when you will loose your weight you won't have a sagging skin after all.

Lea said...

I'm around 180, and 5'3. I've not even had kids. I have the eating habits of a 13 year old boy. I enjoy veggies and healthy foods, but I also like Mountain Dew and potato chips.

If your man things you're attractive, then so be it.

Anonymous said...

Hi :) I've only just gotten through the immense archives of your blog. It's wonderful to read, really helpful for someone who's just getting into a D/S relationship. I'm a bigger girl, I've not had a flat stomach since I was about 13 but recently I lost over a stone on the fasting diet, you may have heard of it. I will testify as someone who hates health foods, has tried every diet going for the last five years and lost minimal amounts of weight, that this works painlessly. Or at least once you get past the first two days of fasting. Don't take my word for it though, please look it up and see if it'd suit you :) just thought you'd like to see the alternative

1950's Princess said...

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PhoenyxRose said...

I find that counting calories works the best for me, and a change of mind. It really is a lifestyle change and you have to change your attitude about food. I used to have the same thoughts about food as you do, but then I started counting calories (1500 a day to lose 1-2 lbs a week) and making weekly/monthly goals. I used to hate vegetables but then started with the ones I DO like (like carrots) as sides, and finding ways to make good sides out of ones I've never tried before (like asparagus),and "hiding" the ones the kinda don't like (like putting peas in chicken and dumplings) and just don't eat what I REALLY don't like (plain salads, brussel sprouts, onions, etc. When I had incorporated that I started cutting back on my coffee intake (mostly due to a lack of starbucks funds) and drinking homemade tea sweetened with a couple teaspoons of sugar. A lot of it seems to be getting rid of breads, pastas, and processed foods--like, the green tea I drink is only 45 calories because I sweeten it with gran. sugar rather than buying premared drinks, I make my own food instead of eating out and when I do eat out I calculate the calories or just eat half and bring the other half home. I've found that making my own food is often more filling than buying food-- I can eat half a spaghetti squash with pasta sauce and a ton of cheese and it's only 200 calories or so but I end up stuffed whereas a dominoes bread bowl (yum) is 1400 calories (not yum). Is it hard? Yes and no, you just have to take it slow and figure out what works for you and realize you're changing the whole way you think about food.

Hope this helps~