I'd like to thank Sara over at Finding Sara for being so open with her marital struggles. Sometimes I worry I am the only person in this blogging-lifestyle community who is not 100% happy with the D/s in her relationship. It might explain why I haven't written on my blog in so long.
I know Sara and Grant are committed to their relationship. I applaud her for both her willingness to admit they've fallen on hard times and her confidence that they will stay together. I believe they will, for the simple reason that they are both committed to staying together.
For those of us in the younger areas of our lives, newlyweds or dating or with young children, it can be hard to find that BDSM relationships do not, as books and the internet would suggest, take work in the beginning and then hit a happy equilibrium which they maintain, to the mutual joy and satisfaction of both partners, forever.
I was sort of waiting for all of the "beginner" stuff like working out contracts and getting trained and getting used to being in this lifestyle. What I didn't realize is that BDSM and D/s can actually cause a lot more conflict than just ignoring those desires and being vanilla.
But I don't think I can ever go back to being vanilla. Even if our relationship sometimes looks and feels vanilla, I won't ever be vanilla again. Not with what I know and what I've experienced. I carry that knowledge and that desire with me. I will forever.
I'll go into more detail in what's been happening in my subsequent posts... but for now, thanks to Sara for being an example and showing me I don't have to hide my struggles and problems in D/s to have a D/s blog. I don't have to be having kinky sex or an active D/s lifestyle to be a D/s person. Thanks for making me brave enough to come back and type out these words. I've missed it.
More to come...
Fondly,
Sexperts
6/01/2012
50 Shades of Grey
The newst book my friends say I need to read is 50 Shades of Grey.
Apparently it's bringing S&M and D/s lifestyles into the mainstream.
Of course, critics say the book does nothing but cement the stereotypes that only people with abusive histories and/or serious control issues could ever be interested in such a lifestyle. But I think it's good the story also shows how this woman, although she is not 100% into the lifestyle, still finds it appealing and sexy on some level. At least it deals with that.
Haven't we all dealt with that? Why do I want thi?. I'm not supposed to. How can I be both repulsed and attracted to a lifestyle?
I have read The Story of O. As far as I can tell, it's the opposite of 50 Shades of Grey. The story of O tells of a woman who voluntarily descends into a lifestyle of complete and utter slavery. 50 Shades is more, from what I understand, a story of how a man deals with his past abuse and transcends the need for the lifestyle.
Either way, it's next on my list.
Apparently it's bringing S&M and D/s lifestyles into the mainstream.
Of course, critics say the book does nothing but cement the stereotypes that only people with abusive histories and/or serious control issues could ever be interested in such a lifestyle. But I think it's good the story also shows how this woman, although she is not 100% into the lifestyle, still finds it appealing and sexy on some level. At least it deals with that.
Haven't we all dealt with that? Why do I want thi?. I'm not supposed to. How can I be both repulsed and attracted to a lifestyle?
I have read The Story of O. As far as I can tell, it's the opposite of 50 Shades of Grey. The story of O tells of a woman who voluntarily descends into a lifestyle of complete and utter slavery. 50 Shades is more, from what I understand, a story of how a man deals with his past abuse and transcends the need for the lifestyle.
Either way, it's next on my list.
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