Kink Keeps the Spark Alive

Even in BDSM relationships, keeping your sexual relationship new and exciting can be hard.

The good news is, the online BDSM community provides hundreds of sites with information on exactly how to keep your sex life interesting, fun, and kinky.

A lot of magazines and sites have really dull sex tip pages full of the same information over... and over... again. Seriously. Check out these sex tips from Cosmo, Men's Health, and SexInfo101. "Try a little hand lotion for a blow job... try somewhere semi-public... Star Wars sex positions... kiss her ears or neck (I mean, really?)... try foreplay with food...

Not only are these tips a bit overdone, but I think they're generally things most of us could probably figure out by ourselves.

With BDSM, it's easier to find truly kinky, out-there tips. Take figging, for example, where the Dom carefully peels a large piece of fresh ginger and inserts it into his sub's bottom, usually to make the sting that much worse while he spanks her. Or a drawn-out punishment scene, including not just spanking but also a lecture about what was done wrong, a warm-up, and maybe even some orgasms. There are dozens of ways to be tied up, not to mention all the gags and whips and paddles that can be bought or adapted from household items. There's needle play, role play, interrogation scenes, puppy or other animal play, cages, St. Andrew's crosses, suspension, leashes, forced servitude, and dungeons. Honestly, I think you can find just about anything online that will help keep your kinky relationship new and fun.

While I don't generally get turned on by spanking websites, I do find Taken in Hand and CDD sites to be very hot. While my husband isn't turned on by the idea of me as a pet horse, he loves the idea of me tied up and gagged on the bed. Everyone has their own likes... often, the problem is communicating them openly (even I get shy about telling my Dom what I want sometimes) and not being afraid to admit what you want. I mean, I try to tense up and hold my breath when my Dom gets close to doing something I want, but sometimes he still isn't sure what I'm trying to get him to do and I have to suck it up and ask for it... or go without.

So if you're over the cliché "tips" from vanilla sites.... go kinky. :)