Shower Head

By shower head, no, I do not mean this wonderful invention that provides us all with hot water and showers:

No, I mean giving head in the shower.

Giving head is my new favorite submissive activity!

A lot of subs seemed to enjoy giving head. I never really understood that. I thought giving a blow job was gross at best. I never really enjoyed it in the past, and usually only did so out of guilt or obligation. The few times I did it willingly, it was always to make someone else happy (not because I liked it) and it was always for about 30 seconds max.

So no, head was not my favorite activity ever.

With my husband, who is also my first and only Dom, giving him head was not something I tried until after we were married and had already been involved with BDSM for over a year. (You can read about my first oral sex experience with my Dom here.) And because he let me wait til I was ready, oral sex with him was not ever about feeling guilty or obligated. Sometimes, it was because I felt submissive. Others, it was because he used it to make me feel small (we had one really hot scene where I role-played a 12-year-old giving fellatio for the first time).

More and more, I've been finding that I enjoy giving him head because it is an expression of how I feel when I already feel submissive. Forcing me onto my knees doesn't make me feel submissive, it just makes me feel pissed off, but when he's already brought me into a subby headspace--either through his words or his actions--I often feel the desire to put him into my mouth and serve him.

Why?

Because it's serving him.

Women and men may give head for a multitude of reasons, but for me it is most powerful as a symbol of submission and service.

My husband can enter my vagina without me being emotionally engaged. You don't have to kiss or make eye contact to have sex. But you definitely have to be engaged to take a man's cock and willingly accept it into your mouth. It's the ultimate symbol of service.

I remember I once read a book, if I recall correctly it was Angels and Demons, where the bad guy, a Muslim Middle Easterner hired as an assassin, planned to force the heroine to give him oral sex. He decided that, at the moment of his climax, he would slit her throat. He termed this the ultimate submission.

Even back then, I was pretty taken by those words. There is just something about having someone on her knees, mouth open and vulnerable, taking your cock into her mouth and servicing it that is so... humble. And hot. Of course, it doesn't have to be. As with every other aspect of sex, society and pornography have found ways to distort and desecrate fellatio, twisting it into other things--like the fictional example above. But it can be a simple and beautiful symbol of submission. You love this man. You want to please him. You kneel before him, and you take the most masculine part of his body, and you serve it with your mouth as you look into his eyes. There's something profound and powerful about that.

I had to work up to looking into my Dom's eyes. Sometimes I still get embarrassed and look away. But I've noticed that when I already feel submissive, and I'm doing it because I want to please him and express how submissive I already feel, my mouth doesn't get tired as easily. I don't get bored. I don't get distracted as much by the smell or the ache in my jaw. It's a much better experience, for me as well as for him.

So I guess I should quit teasing and get to the good stuff, huh? :)

My Dom had already tortured my nipples and made me cry out that I was owned. It was especially effective because this time, he seemed to be really enjoying making me cry out in pain. He wasn't just doing it for me.

After our scene, he maintained our emotional connection and his control, even when we were moving our things with our friends. He grabbed me and bit me quickly on the neck. He held me possessively by the back and shoulders, leading me with his hands where he wanted me to go, as we walked to the truck. He told me how much he loved hurting me and making me cry out (hot!). He handed me money and asked me to go get him food and a beer (against my normal nature, I obeyed). Later, we made love on the couch as we talked and looked into each other's eyes. He slowed down when I asked him to and hit my cervix so wonderfully he made me cry out in pleasure repeatedly. Then we went for a quick shower to clean off before a BBQ at a friend's.

All this being dominated really got to me. I loved it. I craved it. I felt happy, calm, and completely owned. (I rarely am able to feel this way). Suddenly, I really wanted to show him how great he had made me feel.

I knelt down before him and looked up at him. Normally I don't like kneeling, but at that moment all I wanted was to kneel at this man's feet and serve his cock with me mouth. We made eye contact. I leaned forward, grasped his dick, and took his hard cock into my mouth. His skin was soft and smooth, but his cock was hard and firm. The warm shower water poured over me. He felt clean and smelled great.

I worked him with my mouth. He told me to tongue him. Not understanding, I licked the underside of his shaft.

"No," he told me roughly. "Tongue the underside of my head."

I immediately obeyed. He relaxed with a sigh that was part moan, making me feel even sexier and more confident.

For once, I loved giving him head. I wanted to serve him. It was intimate and sexy. It was a way to give back to him. It was a way to show him how great and submissive he had made me feel. I sucked diligently on him, reveling in the way my newly pregnant body looked to him as I gazed up at him from my knees, hot water cascading down my shoulders and over my breasts.

I wanted to do more. I grabbed the soap and soaped his balls. I love the way his skin feels when it is wet and soapy in the shower. I massaged his balls, thighs, and lower abdomen.

I wanted to serve him more. I soaped up my hands and washed his legs, stomach, arms, and then feet, still bobbing up and down on his cock. I paid special attention to his feet, which suddenly seemed an especially submissive place to clean him, and since we were in the shower I didn't get my usual ick-factor with feet (or penises). It was hard because I could not look down, but I did it. I knew if I didn't get him 100% clean he would not be upset.

When I was out of places to wash him, I still wasn't done showing him how submissive I felt. I wasn't sure what else to do. So I took a deep breath, relaxed my throat, told myself that he loved me, and slowly leaned forward until my lips touched the skin of his balls. He gasped. I gagged a bit, backed up, and said with a huge grin, "I didn't do it all the way, but it worked!" He told me I was doing a great job and encouraged me to keep going.

Now, I have never been able to deepthroat. Still can't, actually. Long-standing abuse issues make my gag reflex too sensitive, either having a dick near the back of my mouth or tasting cum or pre-cum. It's a real bummer during oral sex. But if my Dom wants me to get over these issues, some day I hope I can for him. Perhaps it's something we could work on in training.

Well anyway, this day, I got close. I leaned in, hot water still pouring around me and making everything clean and fresh, and I wished I could relax more and take him deep into my throat. I wished I could close my adoring lips around his balls and kiss them to show him how much he meant to me. (Sadly, as far as I know it is impossible to kiss someone's balls when your lips are already forced open around his shaft.)

Jake'skajira says she and her Master are working on a 30-day challenge where she will kneel before him, open and exposed and vulnerable, every night. She says it makes him aroused when he sees her exposed to him that way. I asked her about it, and she told me that sometimes, he will get so aroused that he comes to her and fucks her mouth. For the first time in my life, I could understand how a submissive could long to service her Master in this way. How a woman could long, from deep within her pussy, to open her mouth and receive him and feel his cum slide down her throat and kiss his balls and let him fuck her willing, open mouth because, deep within her owned soul, she longs to show him the kind of service he makes her willing to give.

Sexy Showers and D/s questions

My Dom and I are trying, still again, to find the right balance to our D/s dynamic.

It can be really hard. D/s is just like any other aspect of our lives: our marriage, our sex life, our D/s dynamic, our finances. It takes a while of jiggling things around and talking and fighting and complaining and communicating and changing things until we find a vibe that fits right for both of us. I feel like, by now, we've gotten the marriage part figured out. We had trouble adjusting at the beginning but now we've settled into a groove that works for both of us. But the sex and D/s part? Those are more difficult.

They are definitely improving, don't get me wrong. But sometimes we see things differently. We are trying to create our own brand of D/s that is as full-time or part-time, as intense or laid back, as we want it. We are also trying to maintain D/s that fits us as Christians. While we've explored CDD and Taken in Hand, and those are very similar to what we want, I think what we're leaning toward lately is a bit closer to traditional D/s, only with a Christian dynamic.

It doesn't help when we argue about it or fight over whose fault it is that we don't have a perfect romance book-style D/s relationship. This is usually my fault, but the other night he told me he didn't think I was capable of D/s because I'm too emotionally inconsistent and getting a taste of my own medicine really hurt my feelings. Why bother to work at building a kind of relationship your partner doesn't even think you're capable of? Yet, as with so many things in a marriage, it is easy to turn to blaming others when things don't go right instead of communicating.

While I tend to complain and blame more, it's also hard because he doesn't communicate as well or as readily as I do. He doesn't feel the need for constant talking about our D/s relationship to maintain it that way I do. He is a man of actions, while I am a woman of words. Of course I want actions too, such as him following through with what he says he'll do, but I prefer to have the words first. If I'm not clearly given a command or specifically told what to do or not do, and then he punishes me for not doing it, I feel it is unfair since the expectations were not clearly, VERBALLY, stated.

My Dom sees a D/s relationship as one where the sub submits readily; I see it as one where I am forced to submit. Both these are valid kinds of submission; for instance, CDD is more similar to what my husband wants, and Taken in Hand is more similar to what I want, and I've seen BDSM-style D/s relationships that work both ways, although I think they are more often what my Dom prefers.

My Dom thinks scenes and domination should just happen organically and not seem too forced; I want to be in fairly constantly communication about our D/s and work at it all the time to make sure we sustain the lifestyle 100% of the time and not just when it "happens."

My Dom thinks a scene can be a success even if I don't like it. I used to think he was wrong, but now I can see his point. For instance, last weekend he tortured my nipples and spanked me for fighting him. I never got past my "mad-pissed-off-sub" headspace into my "calm, happy sub" headspace, because the pain escalated too fast and was never an enjoyable pain for me. I was just in a mood, I guess. I didn't think it was fair that he spanked me for fighting pain, when it is such a natural reaction! I also didn't think it was fair that he spanked me for fighting him, when the reason I was fighting was because he was accidentally pressing into my pregnant stomach and causing pain, but I couldn't tell him that due to the gag.

So at the end of the scene, I was pissed instead of calm, drowsy, and submissive. I thought the scene was a failure, but I was wrong. Although I didn't like the way he did it at the time, he still dominated me, and I still felt dominated, even if I was pissy about it. Later that night, I dressed up for him and wore more makeup than I had in a long, long time. I was more worried about what he wanted me to wear than before. I asked him what perfume I should wear and which eyeshadow color he'd prefer me in. At dinner with our friends, I got up and got him a plate of food without being asked. The next day, I acquiesced to sex even when I wasn't really interested, and afterward, I gave him head while kneeling before him in the shower and soaping his body with my hands. Instead of seeing fellatio as a chore, I actually enjoyed these actions, and was able to relax and let him slide farther down my throat than I had before. At the end of the shower, I even got him a towel and brought his clothes into the bathroom for him.

These actions are NOT things I'd do in my normal headspace. I'm not a naturally submissive person. In fact, my feminist mother would be ashamed I did those things at all. But I noticed that I was doing them. I wanted to please. I wanted him to be happy. And I wanted to serve him.

Obviously, I was wrong about the bad scene = bad domination. Just because I didn't like the scene at the time, I assumed it was not a success. Boy, was I wrong! We had the hottest time ever in the shower. The pain he caused me and the control he wielded had an effect on my psyche, even when I did not enjoy the pain, and it caused me to feel more submissive for the next day.

We are also trying to figure out questions like: What do we do on days when I don't feel as submissive? When he doesn't feel as dominant? How do we keep D/s alive all the time and not just in the bedroom? How can he make me feel submissive without causing me physical pain? How do I maintain that great "subby" feeling without getting sad and mopey 24 hours later? How do we maintain D/s in a non-sexual way? I'm in favor of more rules, but my Dom is more laid back and doesn't like to make and enforce a lot of rules like some Doms do. These are questions we are trying to find the answers to.

As always, you can expect I'll be blogging about the journey to find the answers. :)

Submissive Training: Giving Good Head

Giving good oral sex is often an assumed part of any male-led D/s relationship. Also, it can be fun and add variety to your sex life.

If, like me, you have a ridiculously active gag reflex, or you hate the smell/taste of cock and balls, or you don't like the taste of semen..... welcome to the club! On the other hand, there are tips you can use that will help you give better head to your Dom or Master.

For Men:

• Shave, shave shave. No one wants to put their mouth on hairy balls.
• Shower before oral sex so you feel and smell clean
• Keep a damp towel nearby in case you start to sweat during the activity, which will make you smell bad
• Don't eat salty or bitter foods beforehand, since they can make semen taste stronger.
• Stay away from coffee (ewwww taste) or other dehydrating drinks (like soda). Drink lots of water and stay hydrated. This improves the taste of the semen a bit.
• Keep her informed of where you are in The Process. When mouths get sore and lips start to ache, it can be terrible to keep going with no idea if we are 30 seconds from takeoff, or 2 minutes, or 5 minutes, or 10 minutes. We need to know where you are so we can do a quick pain/benefit analysis and know whether to give up, take a break, or suck it up and keep going despite the pain.
• If your submissive has trouble with deepthroating or swallowing, and this is something you want, consider training her gradually to build up resistance.

For Subs and Slaves:

• Get comfortable. Put a pillow under your knees, get situated, and make sure you won't lose blood flow to your limbs.
• Have a bottle of water and some chapstick handy for when you need to take a small break.
• Try covering his cock with something that tastes good (I use cold strawberry frosting in a can) to block out unpleasant tastes
• If pre-cum makes you gag (it does me), keep a towel or t-shirt with you so you can wipe him off before starting again
• Suck on a piece of hard candy like a Jolly Rancher or Lifesaver to keep the saliva coming and to coat your throat
• Use Chloraseptic Throat Spray to numb the back of your throat (but put a condom on him, or you'll also numb his cock!)
• When your mouth gets too tired, alternate between kissing, licking, and massaging with your hand to give yourself a break
• Sip water or a flavored drink right after he ejaculates if you don't like the taste of semen

I know several subs who love pleasuring their Masters in this way--and of course, the men love to receive it! Giving good blow jobs to someone you love, trust, and serve can be a completely freeing exercise in submission.

Sub Gives Head for First Time

Hello there!

Last week I had my wisdom teeth removed---Owwwww---and I am still recuperating. I will say that BDSM has not been an option for us, given that he has to be very careful of my body and especially of my face, so slapping and choking and generally being rough are out for now. But sex is still very possible, indeed highly desirable under the influence of these drunken pain pills I am taking, which make me both drowsy and lovey-dovey/clingy. My Dom loves it! And who am I kidding? So do I. I only wish I felt this way all the time. ;)

In fact, I must say that the first day, under the effects of anesthesia that made me very loopy and drunk and clingy and lovey and all manner of un-me-like things, I gave my hubby/Dom head for the very first time! It was lovely.

You may wonder how we could be into BDSM and not give oral sex, which seems to be the staple of female submission, all the time. But the truth is, I didn't. Not until after we were married. I just wasn't comfortable yet. I've been in some bad vanilla relationships before where my introduction to the male anatomy was not conensual, joyous, and free the way it should be, but something that was forced, coerced, and pushed upon me. Needless to say, this has led to some sexual issues that make BDSM mind play very fun yet scary for us, and also to a certain reticence on my part to give my partner oral sex.

To his credit, he has been 100% caring, loving, and patient.

Yes, a Dom who didn't get orally pleasured by his sub. He didn't ask for it, didn't even mention it. If I mentioned it, he was willing and receptive to the idea, but never so enthusiastic that I got scared and drew back. He was always very careful to let me lead in his area so that I would never do something I wasn't comfortable with out of a desire to please him or a strange feeling of obligation to serve him.

Sure, BDSM play is often about pushing limits, but my Dom decided that this limit was not one he should play with. It might be scary and fun to push other limits, for example acting like a dog or a slave or giving me more pain than I want to take, but to push the "oral sex" limit would have been pshing my limits in a way that was not fun or helpful to me or to our relationship. In fact, it would have been scary, intrusive, and an abuse of the trust I'd put in him.

But slowly, as we had married sex and I got used to the feeling of sex being completely God-given, holy, bonding, and emotional for the first time in my struggling Christian life, my fear of having a penis in my mouth started to go away.

Still, it was the drugs and the anesthesia that pushed me over the edge! I wouldn't say that the drugs made me horny, but they did make me lovey and clingy to an extreme--- I spent the first few hours in a drugged haze, whimpering through my pitifully swollen jaws, "Don't leave me.... stay here with me! Where are you going?" He loved it, and honestly so did I. I know a lot of people get turned off by neediness and clinginess, but in our weirdly wonderful codependent relationship, we both like it. My Dom likes to have the control and to feel needed, and I love being able to be this annoying, vulnerable side of myself and have it not only accepted, but welcomed and appreciated, for the first time in my life.

My needy, drugged, happy self suddenly had an immense craving to touch my Dom's penis. Then, I wanted to show him I loved him by putting it in my mouth.

This was a few hours after my wisdom teeth had all been removed, mind you. I couldn't eat, and I could barely open my mouth. I went very, very slowly. It took me a while to be able to get it into my mouth, and his dick fit very gingerly. Still, it wasn't nearly as awful as I'd thought it would be---or as my past had shown me it was. His penis didn't smell, it didn't feel gross, it didn't taste gross. Instead, it was smooth and soft on my tongue, slightly salty when he oozed pre-cum into my mouth, and gloriously, beautifully hard and soft. For the first time, after a lifetime of being abused and hurt by men and their penises, a penis was my friend.

It sounds silly, but that's how I felt. I can't remember the whole thing, but I know "traditional" oral sex was absolutely not an option at that point after my surgery. I couldn't suck at all, so I busied myself with my tongue, probbing his urethra with my tongue (he actually really liked it!), sliding my tongue over the base of his cock, and feeling his smooth skin against my tongue. My poor traumatized mouth bled a little bit, but neither of us cared about the spit or the blood. I went as slowly as I wanted to, never got to a hard "face-fucking" or "deep throating" or "cock sucking" phase like most people always think is mandatory for oral sex, and just got used to the feeling of his dick. When I was ready to stop, he welcomed it. He didn't complain, he didn't ask for more, he didn't ask for sucking or deep-throating, and he didn't ask if he could come. In fact, neither of us orgasmed. It was perfect.

After I was ready to quit, he cuddled me and told me how wonderful that was and how great it felt. My ego comfortably assuaged, we cuddled and I drifted asleep some more. Then he got up and made me dinner (water, pain pills, and some chocolate milkshake) and I headed to bed.

My first GOOD experience with oral sex! Finally---a good, loving, committed man to share that with. Halelujia.

Oral Sex Tips You WON'T Find Online

I'm so tired of "sex advice" columns giving the same old, same old, same old advice. Whether you read it in Cosmo or someone's blog, the advice is pretty much the same.

Well, what about us women who don't really like oral sex when it's done that way? What about those of us who want oral sex in a different way that goes past the standard tips they give you?

Here's a few I've thought of, though I'm sure there are more:

1. don't get too heavy on the saliva; clits like friction, and an overly wet finger or tongue just starts to feel slimy instead of good---and slimy is never sexy.
2. once she's turned on (you can tell when she's bucking her hips), use your fingers to gently peel back the delicate skin of the hood and expose the tiny bead of her clit. Separate it from the skin, pull it into your mouth, and suck. Do this for about 5-10 seconds and then stop before it gets too intense.
3. Use your tongue to create friction, not wet.
4. Don't just use your tongue! Use your breath, your outer lips, and your inner lips.
5. Put your face right next to her clit so your lips are barely touching her---and then talk to her. Tell her all the sexy things you're seeing or feeling. The movement of your breath and the feathery touch of your lips against her will drive her crazy.
6. Try licking a larger area: lick lightly from her perineum all the way up to her mound, or reverse and lick all the way from the top to the bottom. Or try licking all the way horizontally from one inner thigh to the next. See what she likes; covering more ground can feel better than simply focusing on her vulva.
7. Don't go to town on her clit like it's a lollipop--or a dick. Clits don't need constant stimulation to come; in fact, some of my most intense orgasms come from barely being touched at all. Try licking once, very lightly, and then pausing for 2-5 seconds before giving one more lick. If this makes her clit swell, she likes it! Focusing on spending more time away from her clit than on it.
8. Bury your legs in her thighs.
9. Moan. Either the sound will turn her on, the vibration from your mouth will, or both.
10. She's very vulnerable now. Talk sexy to her, or dirty, or describe her pussy to her--whatever floats your boat. Focus on reminding her how vulnerable she is. Tell her what her sexuality and her vagina tell you about her--that she's open, and beautiful, and giving, and wanton, and everything good!
11. Try giving just a HINT of pain. See if she likes it.
12. Gently take the outer fold of her lips in your teeth or lips, just to give her a new sensation. Try nipping rather than biting.
13. Try giving her a mix of fingers on her clit, mouth on her vulva, and fingers around the entrance to her vagina. Change what you're dong every few seconds or minutes, instead of just fingering her or just giving oral sex.
14. Pull back her hood with your fingers and stretch the hood taut. This will increase the sensitivity of her clit and also make her clit more accessible to you.
15. If she's open to it, gently insert one finger into her anus. Don't overdo the finger motions; her butt isn't a vagina! Just let the presence of your finger stimulate the skin around and just inside her butthole, barely moving it or not moving it at all. Just letting your finger rest slightly inside her will give her a great sense of pressure "back there."
16. Gently insert on finger partway into her vagina, but don't get carried away--intense internal stimulation can deaden the lighter sensations going on outside. Don't get carried away with multiple fingers, deep penetration, G-spot stroking, or thrusting: just be gentle! A gentle fingertip swirling around the lips of her vagina, then disappearing, then gently stroking her inner vagina, then disappearing, will give a great sensation to accompany your mouth, lips, and teeth on her vulva.
17. If she doesn't come easily from oral sex, don't try to make her come from it. Use it to get her turned on, or simply to add variety to your lovemaking and foreplay. Rather than knuckling down and performing hard-core oral sex on her for 10 to 20 minutes, give her some gentle mouth attention for a few minutes, then go back to gently fingering her or caressing her breasts. Don't get locked down in one place!
18. Trim or shave her pussy hair. Having your head and hands so close to her "down there" will excite her, and electric razors give a nice buzzzzzz. Plus, something about this act feels very vulnerable for some women, and some men love to mark her as theirs!
19. As she gets more turned on and needs harder, more foreceful stimulation, oral sex might need to get passed up in favor of stronger stimulation. There's only so much you can do with your lips, but your fingers, dildos, and cock can give her more when she's ready for more thrusting, stretching, and hard sensation. Don't get stuck on one thing!
20. Try some pussy torture if BDSM is your thing. Light slapping with a slapper or whip, needles, piercing, and pricking might be fun things to try.

Review: Expert Guide to Oral Sex video

Last night I watched my very first instructional video on cunnilingus. The video, "Expert Guide to Oral Sex, part one: Cunnilingus" is one of Babeland's video series on oral sex. It is led by Tristan Taormino, a well-known "sexpert", author, porn director, and speaker.

In the end, I was disappointed with the video because I wanted more actual tips and less video of people doing it.

I was eager to get some advice on cunnilingus since this is an area of our sex life that has gone downhill in recent months. At the beginning, oral sex was good because it was new, exciting, and fresh, but once I got used to having it, it got boring. So I was excited to get some tips that we could use to share and explore.


At first, I thought the guide was a book. I thought it would be pretty sweet to order a book full of oral sex tips, but I figured out as soon as I went to Babeland's site that it was a video. Well, that was okay, so I went ahead and ordered it.

My Dom's first question when he opened the mail was, "Did you order porn?"

I was a little taken aback. I told him no, and he said, "Well, you just got a video that says something about 'Extra girl-on-girl scene!'"

I finally had a chance to open the video last night. My Dom was uncomfortable watching it, so he just listened. I went ahead and watched. Luckily, the video gives you menu options, so I just skipped right over the videos of different couples having oral sex on camera and went straight to the Cunnilingus Workshop section. Here, Tristan Taormino is giving a live presentation with a female actress to a group of people who ask questions and observe her working. She gives lots of good tips for oral sex (don't go straight for the clit, different techniques my Dom had never thought of, etc.) and some rather common sense onces (different positions for oral sex).

Overall, I did learn a lot. But I'd have preferred to get the same information without watching Tristan Taormino actually perform oral sex on this actress while she was doing it. I know my anti-porn stance puts me at odds with many in the BDSM world (and hey, with many in the real world!) but that's what works for my Dom, me, and our morals and faith.

Needless to say, we didn't watch the scenes of other couples trying out the techniques in the video. We also skipped the part labeled "Bonus girl-on-girl scene!" We watched it for the techniques, and we did get some good tips.

The video, aside from a section on positions, techniques, and using toys, also includes chapters on safe sex techniques and how to use toys to enhance oral sex.

The tips given in it are good tips, but I'd still have preferred a book. The Guide to Oral Sex video was $35, while the book Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus is only $14.95 and focuses much more on actual techniques and less on visually stimulating presentations. So I'd say skip the video and buy the book. I know I am now dying to read that book, so it will soon by on my order list!

Orally Pleasuring a Female...BDSM Style

This is a how-to guide to all those men out there without proper knowledge of the female anatomy or how it needs to be pleasured. I haven't been classically trained in the art of cunnilingus, however I do get good reviews from my little sub. She has told her female friends about the way in which I pleasure her and they all wanted me to give lectures to their boyfriends. Being that I love to go down on my lady (and in fact crave it) I'm going to pass on my knowledge that you too may give yours that inner glow, which comes from your tongue caressing their most delicate flower.

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A good and satisfying experience for the woman starts long in advance. Men, it doesn't start when she is beginning to disrobe in preparation of your naked bodies meeting. No, it starts in the middle of dinner when you lean over and tell her how good she tastes. Then go back to eating like nothing ever happened. Then you continue to periodically remind her how badly you need your tongue on her clit. When she smiles or blushes be sure to tell her she's dirty for enjoying that moment.

Then when you arrive somewhere safe enough to follow through (notice I didn't limit this to the bedroom, be creative. Go outside!). Be sure to tease her. Take you time kissing her and telling her she's irresistible. Take of her top slowly, pay attention to shoulders, chest, and then breasts, and caress her body with your hands. If during this time she makes a mistake punish her for it. Nothing like the hot/cold treatment to turn your girl on. They won't mind, in fact, they will thank you for it if they are well trained.

Now it comes time to work your way down on her. Be dominating and assertive with her. Give her guidelines or boundaries, like stay quiet. When they aren't, enforce the rules. Simple. Then add in some humiliation. Tell them to spread their legs slowly. Describe to the girl how she looks spread eagle in front of you. Now is the time when just a little teasing is necessary. The longer tease between dinner and now works in your favor. She wasn't sure if she was getting any all night. Now that her legs are open and you can smell her beautiful scent, she knows where you're going. No need to pretend like you're going to drop her like a bad habit to play Xbox 360.

Now you are licking her lips and clit gently. Now I've read enough articles in Cosmo to know that every woman is different! Some are going to have highly sensitive clits, which keep them from enjoying a head on lick. These women will require a very light and gently lick and keep it slow and light. Other women will not be as sensitive and want you to give them more pressure. Either way I've never, ever read a complaint from a woman that said her man was too light on her clit. By the way, if you haven't figured it out yet it's all about communication.

Use the flat part of your tongue and not the point. This will create a nice, firm pressure. The point of your tongue will most likely just hurt. Spend more time on the clitoral hood than on the clit itself. The clit may be acceptable to stimulate, but this will be easier once she is turned on and close to cumming. Another thing is that it is acceptable to suck some on her clit, but never use teeth. You don't want her to chow down on you with her teeth, so don't do it to her! It's also okay for you to suck on her, too. This includes the labia and clit. You just need to change things up and keep it interesting for her. To change it up be sure to slide a finger or two into your partner. Give them to come hither motion to hit their G-Spot and watch them writhe in ecstasy.

Now, if you are evil you can control her orgasm and make her beg to cum all over your mouth. Make her say please and thank you. If she disobeys any rules in the process make her pay.

This is important! I realize that you as a male will want to crank up the speed to 10 once you see your lady's back arch and you hear those little pants/moans come out...it seems counter intuitive, but men slow and steady wins the race!

Now she has cum all over your face and is a sweaty, panting mess. Congratulations! Be sure to make the sub thank you before they drift off to a post-orgasmic nap. Good luck out there and happy licking!

Resources:

50 Cunnilingus Tips from Women

Good ideas