Age play is any sort of sexual fantasy where one (or both) of the partners acts or feels younger or older than they are. You might be surprised how common some age play fantasies are, such as:
- high school cheerleader and high school principal
- young virgin and experienced adult
- angry parent spanking a wayward child
These types of fantasies and sexual play are normal. Any time one person is acting younger, even if you don't necessary think of yourself as being a teenager or child, an age-ist element comes into play.
There is no right or wrong way to go about age play. You can decide to pick an age and act that way, or you can just get into the scene and decide later what age you felt and acted like.
My Dom and I often do scenes with a power exchange, so age play seemed logical for us. It's not a big leap from "boss and hapless secretary" to "cheerleader and principal." And from there, it's a smaller leap still to "little girl and Daddy."
Before we started the play, we never decided upon an age. He just told me to start calling him Daddy (months later, this is still sometimes embarrassing for me!) and I suddenly had an outlet for all those clingy, whiny, pouty emotions I so often used to hide. It felt great! It wasn't that I actually regressed to a younger age, but I was allowed through a BDSM scene to let loose some of those negative emotions I'd been longing to let go of, but that I'd kept inside because they are often considered young or immature in our society.
Age play doesn't have to just be about sex, of course. BDSM scenes can have sex, or not, depending on what you and your partner want. In this case, my Dom wanted me to feel safe and secure. He wanted to spoil me and pay attention to me and make me feel like a treasured princess the way I rarely did with my own parents. It wasn't about sex or having an orgasm at all---it was about healing the wounded child of my past.
To do this, he wanted to just pamper me and shower me with attention. If you think this might be good for you or your spouse, consider putting in an old childhood favorite movie, playing, cuddling, making cookie dough, or simply finger painting. These are all perfectly legitimate activities for an adult that nonetheless will also help you nurture your inner "child."
When I am feeling young, it's not that I actually feel that I've turned into a 10-year-old. It's just an outlet for my insecurities to come out and be reassured by a strong, parental figure. It's wonderful! I don't have to worry about being mature or acting like an "adult" all the time. I can go to my Dom with my fears and insecurities. I can whine, pout, or cry for no reason. And because I'm feeling so young and vulnerable, he can validate those emotions for me. Rather than treat me as an equal, he treats me as a vulnerable little girl. He cuddles me and holds me, reassures me, and calls me pet names. It's a great feeling where I'm allowed to let my inner demons out.
If you're interested in this, you might want to make sure that you and your spouse discuss
how you want to approach age play. If you picture yourself being a vulnerable, needy 5-year-old and she sees you being a highly sexual 16-year-old, you might have a problem! Both of you can have your needs met, but it might be best to plan for two separate scenes.
For instance, I once asked my Dom, "When I act young.... how old do you think I am?"
I was afraid he saw our scenes in a completely different light. And I was right! He told me he saw me as somewhere around 12-13. I didn't say anything, but this worried me---because I was feeling about 6 or 7. He didn't ask how old I felt, so I didn't tell him. I did ask him tentatively how he felt about doing a scene with a younger age, and he told me that felt too weird---like being sexual with a child. But it was a good thing I asked, or we'd have had entirely different ideas!
Some adults will even go so far as to be babies. This specific type of age play is often seen as AB on BDSM websites and blogs (AB stands for Adult Babies). More on this later!
Whether you feel like a baby, toddler, child, teenager, college student, mommy, daddy, or babysitter, age play can be a great way to get in touch with a side of you that you don't often share with your partner. If it sounds like it might be fun, broach the subject with your spouse and see where it goes. No matter what, enjoy!
