Positive and Negative Energy in BDSM

Many BDSM relationships have a special kind of energy. Other words for it include fizzle, spark, and chemistry. I think this is why people are attracted to the relationship between pleasure and pain. It creates an electrical sizzle that can make sex scarier, more intense, more frightening, more mind-blowing, and better. This energy flows between Doms and subs like from two separate ends of a battery. Together, they unite and ignite with a crackle, but two Doms or two subs will have a harder time getting that connection to flow.

There are two types of energy that flow between Doms and subs, positive and negative energy.

When I say this, I don't mean positive and negative as "good" and "bad" energy, but simply as two different types of energy. Negative energy, while not bad, is the type that drains you. Positive energy is the kind that heals and rejuvenates you.

Of course, positive and negative energy can change depending on the person. Doms, in my experience, can feed off both kinds of energy. They may prefer one or the other, but many can use both. On the other hand, while subs can give both kinds of energy, they often need to make sure there is a balance of both. If scenes are all about negative energy (activities that leave the sub drained and empty), eventually the sub will get too emotionally or physically drained. In the words of Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages, her "love tank" will be empty.

Using too much negative energy in a relationship will leave a sub who is too drained to participate in scenes. This is what Doms talk about when they say "taking care of your sub." As a wise online Dom once said, "You can play rough with your toys, but you can't break them if you want to play with them again." :)

What are some examples of positive energy? They are scene activities that leave your sub feeling happy, rejuvinated, whole, and renewed. For me, some examples are:

• feeling little


• having an orgasm


• feeling intimate


• being in subspace (happy, floaty)

On the other hand, some activities leave me feeling more drained than before, like:

• being scared or frightened


• feeling vulnerable


• being physically hurt


• feeling worried, anxious, stressed, or panicked


• doing acts of service

This may vary from sub to sub, but for me these are how I feel. For instance, I know many subs feel that doing acts of service gives back to them, so for them it's positive energy.

Anyway, if you are a Dom, you need to make sure your scenes incorporate both types of energy, or your sub will get too drained. This helps keep her healthy and able to partipate in even more future BDSM scenes.

Erectile Dysfunction in BDSM relationships

Erectile Dysfunction (ED) is a more common problem than most men admit. Of course, it makes sense that in a culture where manliness, sexual prowress, and sexual abilities are so valued, men are unlikely to openly admit they're having problems keeping an erection. First, let's dispell a few myths about ED. Then we'll discuss how ED can affect BDSM relationships and some treatment options.



Myths About Erectile Dysfunction (ED)

1. Myth: Normal men don't suffer from ED. Fact: In the United States alone, 18 million men suffer from occasional or chronic ED.


2. Myth: Young men don't suffer from ED. Fact: While it's true that the liklihood of suffering from ED increasing with age, men of all ages can experience this illness. ED is most common in men over 65, with as many as 25% of men in this age bracket reporting some instances of ED. According to one study, 5% of men over 40, report some instances of ED; another study claimed the numbers were closer to 18%. Among men as young as their 20s, as many as 7% complained they were unable to maintain an erection long enough for satisfactory sex.


3. Myth: If I can get an erection, I don't have ED. Fact: Erectile dysfunction does not mean the man "can't get it up." Having ED could mean an inability to get an erection, but it could also mean the man gets an erection that is only partially hard, or that quickly wanes, or that he loses completely before sexual intercourse can be completed to the satisfaction of both partners.

Erectile Dysfunction in BDSM Relationships:

ED can be difficult for any relationship, and particularly so in full-time BDSM relationships, where sex and power are inextricably intertwined. For many kinksters, sex is an incredibly important part of their relationship dynamic. If the man cannot perform sexually, this causes additional stress for both partners, and in my experience, ED can make both partners feel guilty, have low self esteem, and get depressed about sex--only making the ED symptoms worsen.

Help for Men Suffering from Erectile Dysfunction:

Of course, I'll give you the obvious answer first: see a doctor. It won't
help you to feel embarrassed about discussing this senitive topic; doctors are
trained to help your body work properly. I've often told doctors things about my
sex life and sexual health that embarrassed me, but I've never met a
doctor who was the least bit embarrassed by my questions, no matter how
intimate or personal they seemed to me.

Often, the causes of ED are physical, especially in older men. The blood flow to the penis is simply not as plentiful or consistent, and medicine can help this issue. Spending longer on foreplay, stroking and touching your partner, and waiting for a longer interval between erections can help the issue. ED can also be caused by diabetes, low blood sugar, high blood pressure, alcohol abuse, chronic smoking, and fatigue.

Sometimes, however, ED is caused by psychologial issues; this is often the case for men in theirs 20s and 30s. Men who suffer from depression or PTSD are more likely to see ED arise as a side effect of this condition; likewise, acute stress such as moving, job changes, a death in the family, or a major life event can cause temporary ED. In these cases, a doctor, sex therapist, or psychiatrist can provide counseling, stress management techniques, or anti-anxiety medication.

No matter why you or your partner are suffering from ED, this can be a hard time for the relationship. Trust me; I've been there! My husband is only 28, but he struggles with occasional PTSD and stress that lead to ED. This can cause hurt feelings, frustration, and low self-esteem for both of us. We're simply learning to work with it, to seek out help, and to communicate about our hurt feelings.



For more information, see my sources for this post:

• Psychological Problems Cause ED in Young Men by Fox News


• Erectile Dysfunction from Family Doctor


• Erectile Dysfunction Basics from WebMD


• Physical Causes of Erectile Dysfunction from WebMD


• Eectile Dysfunction from Healthy Place

Addicted to Vibes?

Here's something about vibrators that the sex stores won't tell you.

Sure, vibes are great, and they come in a variety of sizes, shapes, and intensities, so it never hurts to have a few (although I only use my favorite one or two). But overusing them can make your body rely too much on a vibe. Read: you can't orgasm without one anymore.

As much as I love my little purple rabbit vibe from AdultToyShoppe, it can't come close to giving me the pleasure, emotions, and orgasms like my loving human mate. Plus, once you use a vibrator that much, the orgasms become less intense and, well, less enjoyable. Your body gets used to that same ol' feeling, and it becomes to feel "old hat."

Well, I was having trouble orgasming with my partner at all, so we'd become more and more reliant on the rabbit vibe, or its pink counterpart from France, to finish me off. Eventually, I found I could only come with the vibe. Why? A human finger or tongue just can't vibrate like a battery-operated machine.

I scoured the web and found this is actually pretty common. So a word of warning: enjoy your vibes, but don't let them become a staple. It's the fine print those sex toy stores don't let you know. Sure, a vibe is great for some help or for a lonely night, but don't let it replace a human touch. Because that, after all, is what making love is all about.

For more information on this topic, read:

An Open Letter to All Women: Lay of the Vibes! by David Wygant

Vibrators: Too Much of a Good Thing? by Amber Madison

A Sex-Stopper: Yeast Infections

Want to know a real mood-killer?

Yeast Infections.

Yes, they mostly plague women, and they plague most women (75%). But they can also plague men, although this is much more rare.

This may not connect to BDSM, but it certainly connects to sex. And with our sex life at a grounding halt, our BDSM life followed suit.

First, there is a lot of much-known information on yeast infections in women. They can be caused by pregnancy, diabetes, HIV, taking antibiotics, and a host of other unknown causes. Most women (75% of them) will have a yeast infection in their lifetimes, and once you get it once, it's easier to get them again. Many women start experiencing the symptoms between 16 and 35, and many others during menopause, pregnancy, or some other hormonal fluctuation that affects healthy yeast cells in the vagina.

What is not so well-known about yeast infections is the following. First, men are at risk for it, too, so if your partner starts showing redness, itching, and swelling in the genital area, you might want to get him a good antifungal cream, too. Luckily for him, this is pretty rare. Also, yeast is not "bad" for the vagina. Healthy vaginas have yeast, but yeast infections occur when there is too much yeast. This can be caused by a decrease of other healthy yeast-inhibiting bacteria(caused by douching) or by an increase of yeast (caused by hormonal fluctuations or a chemical imbalance in the vagina.)

Here are some causes of too much yeast in the vagina:

• douching
• using scented soaps, pads, tampons, or bubble bath
• using menstrual products with deodorant on them
• fluctuations in blood sugar (diabetes, change in diet, etc.)
• fluctuations in immune system (antibiotics, HIV, AIDS, etc.)
• fluctuations in hormones (pregnancy, menopause, PMS, medications, etc.)
• using lubricants with glycerin or sugar
• wearing tight clothing that restricts air flow to the genitals
• remaining in a wet bathing suit too long
• not drying genitals properly after showering or bathing
• wiping from back to front (bringing anal yeast into the vulva)
• using feminine hygiene sprays, scented sprays or wipes, etc.
• playing with food in or near the vagina (upsets the chemical balance)

How can you tell if you have a yeast infection? Well, you will probably have itching and redness in the vulva, although this can be anywhere from mild to extreme. You will also have a dry, odorless, thick white discharge that some women say looks "cheesey" or like cottage cheese. If your discharge is foul-smelling or doesn't look at all like this description, you need to go to the doctor and get checked for a more serious problem.

Another clue it's a yeast infection and not something else? Other remedies won't work. At-home treatments for itchy, red vulvas like soaking in a warm bath with apple cider vinegar or salt will offer temporary relief, but no more. Over-the-counter meds like Vagisil won't do a bit of good. If you're like me, before you figure out what's wrong, you'll spend days lounging around the house wearing nothing but a t-shirt, legs spread open to keep the area dry and as itch-free as humanly possible. If you absolutely MUST go out, you'll settle for a long, flowing skirt with no underwear, because the idea of making that area hot, wet, and itchy is just too darn painful to consider.

Trust me, it's no fun.

You may want to consider staying away from sex, although you'll probably do that, anyway. Itchy, painful vulvas and vaginas don't generally make for sexually charged women.

It is my unprofessional opinion that BDSM activities put us women more at risk for yeast infections as well. Since 75% of us will get one, anyway, I'm not saying we wouldn't get them if we stayed vanilla, but it seems to me that the more you are experimenting with flavored lubes, fisting, food near the genitals, and toys, the more at risk you are for accidentally upsetting your body's natural balance. Just be careful to keep everything clean and you should be okay.

In the end, the best solution is a trip to your doctor. If you're like me, however, currently drifting amid the uninsured because I can't convince a health insurance company to take on a depressed person, that isn't an option. Thankfully, for the mere price of your dignity at your local grocery store, we can get over-the-counter meds that boast 1, 3, or 7 applications til a cure. And frankly, after having fists and dildos and vibes stuck up there, that tiny, thin little applicator is a joke. It's painless and cheap (under $20 for all brands at my store) once you've completed the Walk of Shame to the counter. And frankly, they're never going to see you again, so what do you care?

You don't. You are too darn eager to get home, use it, and feel the blessed relief. And then, finally, in a few days or so, you and your partner can be at it again, happily beating or torturing or humiliating or whatever it is that brings joy to your life. Amen.

For more information:

http://health.discovery.com/centers/womens/yeast/facts.html

http://www.yeastinfectiontreatment.com/What_Is_Yeast_Infection.html

http://women.webmd.com/tc/vaginal-yeast-infections-what-increases-your-risk

The Art of Fingering a Woman

Warning: these pictures are not work-safe!



By the time you're an adult, chances are you've fingered a woman. Chances are you've even made one come by fingering. But unless you're consistently making her come with your fingering skills (I mean every time!), you still have some things to learn. Regular orgasms are just as natural to women as to men; getting there just isn't as obvious. And the sad truth is, anybody can make a girl come every once in a while; random rubbing around a sensitive area will do that. Unless she is coming about 98% of the time (I wish!), this article is for you.



William Martin's Hand Jobs for Women gave me some great ideas for this article, and will give you some helpful pointers from a man's point of view, so check out his article, too!

I don't want to be mean, but let's start with a reality check. Most guys seems to feel quite okay with themselves if they can get the woman to come at all. Never mind that they aren't even giving her an orgasm 50% of the time. Society has lied to you, telling you that women don't always come and you are not expected to deliver orgasms. But vibrators have proved society wrong. If women can come 100% of the time with their vibrators (and we can!), then they can come 100% of the time with their partners. Of course you should allow for the same issues that plague men: stress, fatigue, not feeling close to your partner, and illness can make for a no-show orgasm day, but if your lady isn't orgasming about 98% of the time, you've got a lot of work to do. She may not even know she can orgasm that much, but she can. She may tell you she doesn't mind if she doesn't come, and she enjoys it anyway (and this is true), but the truth is, we would prefer if you could give us orgasms consistently. Women have been on the losing end of orgasms for too long, and it is time to fix that. A good rule of thumb is: if she doesn't come, you don't come. That will motivate you to really pleasure your lady. :)


So the sad news is, guys, if you are giving her orgasms occasionally, but without any discernible pattern or regularity... you haven't figured out how to please her yet.


And I can attest personally that, if I go too long without being given an orgasm, I get resentful....grouchy....irritable...and then lose interest in sex. No one wins.


So how do you finger a woman? First, you stop concentrating on the clit and the G-spot so much. These get boring and overly sensitive. You might also want to see my posts, "The Art of Seducing a Woman" and "Giving a Woman an Orgasm...Without Touching Her." They will show you how to turn on a woman the way a woman wants to be turned on, and make your job much easier before you get to the actual fingering.



Of course, your fingernails should be trimmed down short, all rough edges filed away, and your nails and hands should be just-washed with hot, soapy water for 60 seconds! Any hangnails or rough edges should be gone. You don't want to scratch her or let invisible dirt beneath your nails inside her; I've gotten an ovarian cyst that way and it was unimaginably painful. Wash and trim your hands before you ever put your fingers inside your lady!

To begin fingering, start with the mons pubis. This is often called the "Mound," and is the skin at the bottom of her stomach, right before the clitoral hood and vulva are visible. Most men don't realize this, but the mons pubis is one of the most pleasurable places to be touched. Being stroked, massaged, and simply held there will turn me on much better than by trying to tease my thighs and clit, which rather bores me.





Try massaging slowly down, from the top of her pubic hair to the bottom. Then try stroking the area, rubbing her with your fingers, and massaging the skin. Try rubbing at different speeds and intensities to see how she responds. If you get no response, or a slight puckering of the face/frown between the eyebrows, she's getting bored. If she inhales quickly and arches her back, keep doing that again. Once she relaxes, you've done it too much and the area is no longer sensitive: move on to something else, but come back in a few moments to try it again.

Another great trick is to just press your palm firmly into her. Cupping your hand, cup her vulva and mons pubis in your hand. This pressure feels fantastic, and you don't need to do anything; we will probably start to rock against you if it feels good! Once the rocking gets really turned on, you might want to start pushing slightly against her thrusts, meeting her as she thrusts, for some extra sensation for her, but more sensitive ladies will just prefer you cup them firmly without moving.

My favorite place to have my clit stimulated is actually through the mons pubis. It feels wonderful there, right before your fingers leave my mound and touch the clitoral hood! But sadly, this doesn't occur to men. They want to stroke the clit or hood. However, by stroking the lowest, fattiest part of her mound, rolling it between your fingers, and pinching it softly, you are stimulating her clitoris indirectly, and it feels heavenly. You could probably keep doing this to me all day without me ever getting bored.



How do you know when to move on from the mons pubis? When your lady is arching her back in frustration, obviously trying to maneuver her body so your fingers touch her clitoral hood. Once she's done this for a few minutes, you know it's time to move on.



Stroking her clitoral hood will bring many woman to orgasm. You can try circular motions, shaking, vibrating, lightly pinching, and rolling the skin between your fingers. Just keep trying new things and see what she likes. Once again, pay attention to her body language. We're never mean enough to say, "I don't like that, you're boring me," but we can't help our body language. A woman who is biting her lip may be turned on, but she may also be frustrated and getting bored. If the lip-biting is accompanied by a pursued mouth, scrunched forehead, or frown, she's frustrated; this means you either aren't pleasing her yet, or you just did something that felt fantastic and then moved on too quickly. If she seems to be concentrating or frowning, she is getting less turned on, and you should ask her what feels good or ask her to show you. If she doesn't get too embarrassed, have her show you herself what feels good (but I find this too embarrassing and don't like it, so don't force them!).



Below the clitoral hood are the labia majora and labia minora. Her outer lips will be sensitive to stroking, massaging, light pinching, and rolling between your fingers. Her inner lips will become more erect as she gets turned on, and slightly moist as she gets wet. Try stroking them, first up-to-down, and then later try down-to-up, but never both together or you just get repetitive. Try rolling the inner lips between your fingers or tugging on them lightly. And possible the most sexy thing you can do is take your fingers and spread them apart. This is the universal signal for "I'm about to enter you" and it will excite your lover immensely!! If she loves it, gently place her lips back in place and do it again...and again... and again. Eventually she will be thrusting against you in impatience, longing to feel you inside her.



You can try spreading her lips apart with your thumb and middle finger, then slowly inserting your index finger. Or try holding her lips apart with one hand while you slowly insert a finger of the other hand. Few things feel more vulnerable and sexy than having your lips held open as someone enters you, whether it is with a finger, toy, mouth, or cock. Remember this move and do it often!



If you want to go inside her vagina, do it slowly. You can tell she's ready when she is thrusting against you. Make her go slowly; gently press one palm flat against her stomach so she quits thrusting as you enter her slowly. It is best not to plunge straight in, but enter gradually; slowly trace circles around her vaginal opening, eventually slipping the circles gently inside her. This is an incredibly sensitive area, and having a finger tracing gentle circles just inside your vagina feels fantastic. Don't rush inside to the G-spot, enjoy the sensations you're giving her right here, at the opening and just inside the vagina!



Reading her body language and thrusting to gauge when she wants you to enter further, slowly inch inside her, feeling her every inch of the way. The entire vaginal wall in the first several inches is filled with nerve endings and will feel pleasure from being touched, stroked, rubbed, and vibrated. If you feel her G-spot, rub it softly and see how she responds.



Websites will tell you the back 1/3 of the vagina has barely any nerve endings, and this is true, but that doesn't mean you should ignore it! The first 2/3 is more sensitive to touch; the back 1/3 is more sensitive to pressure! Press firmly and stroke her walls; see how she responds. I love to have firm, strong strokes and lots of pressure inside me. If your fingers are long enough to touch her cervix, try feeling it and thrusting against it. If they're not, use a toy or put her on her back with her knees held to her chest to shorten the vaginal canal. Many women aren't even aware this type of orgasm exists, but women can have a very strong, emotional uterine orgasm from having their vagina, cervix, and uterus (indirectly through the cervix) forcefully thrusted against.

When you are ready to go out, slide out slowly; the feeling around the inner vaginal entrance is sublime as things slip in and out. Try this several times, hitting her with your knuckles, if she likes it.

If she likes finger fucking or pain, once she is hot and ready is the time to start screwing her hard with your hand. It will probably hurt, both from your finger jamming into her vaginal wall and from your knuckles and fist slamming into her vulva; she will be bruised later. But if she is into this kind of BDSM, she may really like it: she either gets off from the pain, or gets off on being punished or used by you! The idea that my Dom wants to hurt me and be cruel to me is very exciting and sexy!



Moving on down, once you are done with the lips and vagina, you are left with the perineum. This muscley area between the vulva and anus is actually sensitive to touch, stroking, and firm pressure just like a man's is. Try pressing a finger or bent knuckle firmly into her skin, or try giving her perineum pressure with one finger or hand as you stimulate her vagina with the other.



Hopefully you realize that fingering is more than just turning her on and stimulating her clit and G-spot. Many men don't. Think of fingering her vulva as going to a buffet---you have an endless and varied list of delicacies to try, so don't just pick two and stick with it. A woman's vulva is a unique, interconnected mass of nerve endings and pleasure, much more complex than a man's penis, so it is okay to feel confused. Just experiment with different strokes, pressures, and touches, and if something works, remember it for next time but don't stay on any one thing for too long. Before long, you will be an orgasm-giving machine!

Good luck.

Lubricants

Did you know some lubes are dangerous for your health, can cause yeast infections, and can cause condoms to break? So how do you know which ones to use?

First, there are two types of lube you should never buy: anal desensitizing lube, and lubes with Nonoxynol-9 (N-9). There are many sex toy stores that sell these lubes, and you should never purchase from these stores. Anal desensitizing lube can cause real internal damage by numbing you to pain intended to warn you something is wrong. Lubes with N-9 claim to help prevent against pregnancy and HIV, but actually increase the risk of HIV and STDS by creating tiny tears and abrasions inside the vagina and anus. Some good stores that don't sell these lubes and care about their customer's health are Babeland and Good Vibrations.

There are three main types of lubricants: water-based, oil-based, and silicone-based.

Water-based lubes are thinner, safe for your body, and easy to clean afterwards. They are safe to use with condoms and other latex products, as well as with sex toys. Sometimes, however, they can be too thin and dry out too soon for anal play.

Oil-based lubes aren't safe to use with condoms or latex. Oils can also disrupt the amount of healthy bacteria in the vagina, causing infections.

Silicone-based lubes feel more like oil, but are safer for your body. You can use them safely internally, and they tend to be thicker and longer-lasting, so better for anal play. You can't use them with your silicone sex toys, though, or the chemicals will react and melt your toy! Also, these can be harder to wash out afterwards.

Sweet or flavored lubes often have their fruity, sweet taste because they contain glycerin. This sugary lube can cause yeast infections in some women, since sugar disrupts the balance of healthy vaginal yeast. So women, be wary of sweet-tasting or fruity lubes!

Also, "do-it-yourself" lubricants are usually not a good idea; stick to water- or silicone-based lubricants from a store. Crisco, baby oil, hemorroid cream, vaseline, and other over-the-counter oils may seem like a good idea because they feel slick, but the oil inside will cause your condoms to fail, and can cause infections when used vaginally. They are also really hard to clean out afterward. Spit dries out too fast and leaves your skin even drier than before.

If you self-lubricate a lot during vaginal intercourse; congratulations! Stick with a thick lube (like Maximus) for anal and you will be set. If you need vaginal lubrication, too, you might want to buy a thinner lube as well, or consider buying a lube sampler from Babeland.

Be safe!

Using Food During Sex

Food is often considered a sexy, kinky addition to sex. While there is nothing wrong with this, using food the wrong way can be dangerous. Here's our guide on when and how to use food in the bedroom.

A good general rule for sex is: No insertion! This makes some people sad, as some people have an obsession with finding kinky foods to stick up places it shouldn't go. Common examples are phallic objects like bananas and cucumbers; ginger for "figging"; or irritants like alcohol, wasabi, hot sauce, pepper sauce, and other spicy/stingy foods for pain play.

The problem with inserting food into a vagina, anus, or penis is that these are all mucous membranes. This means they are highly sensitive and absorb chemicals quickly. It is also nearly impossible to get all the food remnants out later, no matter how well you wash. Somewhere warm and moist like a vagina will find any molecules of food left over and harmful bacteria will begin to grow, making you incredibly sick. And water often just spreads the food around.

Sugar is a favorite kinky food (fruits, dips, desserts, champagne, and other sweets!), but it particularly dangerous. The natural, healthy bacteria inside a vagina will feed off the sugar and grow exponentially, resulting in painful yeast infections, urinary tract infections, or bladder infections. Not only are all these illnesses incredibly painful, but they require professional medical treatment, medication, and weeks of pain and no sex to heal.

If you want to use food up your read end, generally the more natural a product is, the less it can hurt you. So processed or man-made foods are out (like alcohol). Natural foods like peppers or ginger can be used, but be warned--the linings of the anus are delicate and will absorb the chemicals fast! In other words, it will hurt. :) Also, you can damage, tear, or inflame the tissue, causing rectal bleeding after sex or when you poop. Sometimes you can cause a rash or deaden the nerve endings. Just be cautious about inserting anything into your body other than a clean, washed body part or sex toy.

But cheer up: this doesn't mean food play is out. You can use food all over the body for foreplay, as long as you take care not to get it in the blody! Edible syrup, chocolte syrup, and sweet fruits can be safely used on the stomach, breasts, legs, and buttocks--anywhere covered with skin, with no openings into the body. Also, you can generally lick food off the outside of your genitals, so long as you avoid getting it inside.

If sex just doesn't seem as like "sex" without some sort of insertion, try pairing food in one spot with insertion in another. You can lick syrup off nipples while holding a vibrator inside your lover or stimulating her clit and G-spot with one hand. Or have her lie face-down or kneel doggie-style and sensually nibble fruit off her back while giving her some light anal fingering with the other hand.

Some sexy ideas: strawberries and champagne, a selection of sweet fruits to feed each other, whipped cream, chocolate syrup, fruit dip (one of my favorites!), or chocolate fondue. Take turns dipping fruit into the fondu or chilled dip, then feeding each other and trailing the food across the other's skin, then licking it off. And a tip about licking: it feels better when you keep it small and light, touching the body with only a small part of your tongue (such as the tip). Lots of slobber or a full, large lick isn't sexy.

In my experience, honey and ice cream can get sticky, so put a tarp under you and head to the shower after play. Anything with sugar in it (including fruits, which have natural sugars) gets sticky, so a tarp or old sheet is a must. It is probably a good idea to keep a damp towel close by so you can wipe your hands when you are done.

Happy eating!

Sources:
http://en.allexperts.com/q/BDSM-2733/Figging.htm
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080126161531AA9sBOy

Orgasms Are Good for Your Health!

Yeeee-haw!

A study released earlier this year has found that sexual arousal and orgasm are not only fun, but are good for your health! This is one more reason to reproachfully chide a hubby who's not pleasing you: he doesn't want you to get breast cancer and die, does he? :(

In fact, getting turned on, sexual activity, and having orgasms are good for both men and women! The original article from The Los Angeles Times says when you get turned on or have the Big O, your body releases lots of fun chemicals that are good for your health. Frequent sex (and I don't mean just vaginal intercourse; I mean all sex!) pumps your body full of health-friendly hormones and chemicals that can decrease heart disease, lower risk of breast cancer, flush out carginogens and toxins, clear out arteries, and help you live longer.

For men, it also reduces your risk of prostrate cancer.

For women, it increases your tolerance for pain (enter fun BDSM activities here!). In fact, your pain tolerance goes up during arousal, and actually doubles during an orgasm. While this makes for endless fun with BDSM experimentation, it also has more practical applications: think migraines, cramps, headaches, and sore muscles.

And please remember: health benefits are available from being turned on and sexually active, not just from having an orgasm. Orgasms are not the sole purpose of sex, and both men and women can enjoy sex for its bonding and feel-good qualities without getting off.

Finally, an article telling us sex is good for our health. Just one more reason why sexual activity in a committed, monogamous, loving marriage is a God-given gift. So next time, skip the gym and hop in bed...