Review: Ella

Ella is a two-ended dildo made by the luxury pleasure object company, Lelo. Lelo, a European company whose motto is "Lelo: lust objectified," manufactures high-end, luxury sex toys known for their superb quality and name brand. Since Lelo offers high-quality products ranging from $50 to $1,600, I was understandably thrilled when I discovered I would get the opportunity to review a much-coveted Lelo product!

Ella is Lelo's only dildo, and I had heard great reviews on other sex educators' websites. Frankly, I couldn't wait to try it!

I have loved working with Lelo for reviewing Ella. The customer service representative always answered my emails within a few days and was super friendly and polite. They were as thrilled to have my business as I was to try their product!

From the moment you enter the Lelo site, you can tell this company is a far cry from the seedy, pornography-inspired sex sites you often find on the internet. Rather than selling a huge number of sleazy, low-cost items seen in porn and many sex shops, Lelo offers a small array of high-end, class sexual toys, each one of highest quality and with a one-year guarantee. Some of their pleasure objects even come in steel or gold plating! This is luxury objectified. The website is classy, elegant, and refined; it is available in multiple languages and simple to navigate. Prices are given in euros, but a quick "euro to [dollar]" search on Google gives the amount in other currencies with the single click of a button.

Needless to say, I was beyond excited when I found out I was getting a Lelo product of my very own. Thanks to UPS's wonderful package tracking service online, I eagerly followed my package's progress from China, through Korea, through Poland and Germany, and eventually, to my residence in France.

Opening the package, I was not disappointed. Ella came in a classy box that far surpassed the plastic wrapping of other sites. She came with her own instruction manual (in multiple languages) and a chic satin pouch for travel. With the dildo itself I was not disappointed. Ella was small, thin, and sleek. While she comes in black, white, and deep rose, mine was deep black. Her exterior felt smooth and soft to my hand, and was obviously made from high-quality materials.

So would I recommend Ella? Absolutely. I am not as big a fan of dildos as I am of vibrators, but Ella is a fantastic dildo. First and foremost, she is double-ended, meaning you are really receiving two dildos for the price of one. One end is tapered almost to a rounded point, useful for tradition penetration, and the other is curved to perfectly stimulate the G-spot, which it absolutely does.

For all practical purposes, I found Ella easy to use. Both ends were easy to grip, providing a slip-free surface as I enjoyed two different sensations, one after the other. Ella fit inside comfortably, and the G-spot stimulation was direct and intense. I could even use her without lubricant, although after a while the hard in-and-out motions made me sore and I needed lube. The only minor problem I had with Ella was, during traditional penetration, the tapered end comes almost to a rounded point, which was painful when pushed all the way in and out, hitting my cervix. I wouldn't recommend trying to reach record depths with a dildo that has a point--even a rounded one.

While Ella is a great addition to anyone's collection, I would especially recommend her for beginners, as her sleek size and thin shape are ideal for those beginning the wonderful world of dildos. For men wanting to treat your special lady to a luxurious treat, this is the toy for you! Best of all, Ella comes at a fantastic price: 34 euros (about 46 US dollars), which is a great bargain and well worth it to become the proud owner of a fashionable Lelo product!

For more information on Ella and other fantastic Lelo products for both men and women, please visit the Lelo website. I assure you this company's products will be worth the cost. In fact, Lelo is even offering free shipping on all products until January 7, 2009. Enjoy, and go pamper yourself!

*Note: all photos used here are the property of Lelo.

Review: Intro Anal Beads and Copper Swirl Anal Plug

This week, I was thrilled to receive a late Christmas package in the mail: my first anal toy experience, anal beads and a beginner's-size butt plug from The Adult Toy Shoppe! I quickly opened my package, locked the door, and began to experiment. Since I am an anal-toy beginner, this guide will help potential anal fiends begin to explore two of the most common types of anal sex toys: beads and plugs.


Most of us, even the most sheltered, have seen anal beads in comedy movies or heard about them from friends. Rumor has it pulling the beads out is supposed to intensify orgasms, which sounds fun, so the first thing I tried were the Intro Anal Beads ($7.99 at Adult Toy Shoppe).



The beads are small and perfect for beginners. They are also made of slick jelly material, not plastic, making them slide in and out easier. Another plus is they come on a bendable strand, making them easier to insert than the more traditional plastic-beads-on-a-string approach. Overall, I would definitely recommend this for beginners. The strand of beads was smaller than I expected (whew!) so I was much relieved. In fact, the smallest bead is about the size of a pea, and even the largest on the graduated strand is smaller than average human feces---so there are no worries about something going in or out of your bum that won't comfortably fit! If you are a beginner, I think these beads are a great choice for you.

The rule with anal is to always, always, always use lube--and never desensitizing or numbing lube--but I tried it first without lube, just to see. As expected, even the smallest beads were hard to get in, and even when relaxing and going slowly, I couldn't put it in past the first few beads. The moral of this story? Use lubricant. Once I lubed up, things went easier. I was glad for the small, unintimidating size since I was still having trouble wrapping my brain around the idea of sticking a foreign object up my butt; I kept tensing up and having to force myself to relax and breathe in. At first, I was unsure how to use the bendable strand (should I stick it in straight? bent? would it bend naturally to my body? I am not that familiar with human anatomy) but as I went slowly, slipping it out and then more and more in gradually, I got the hang of it. I did find it was easier to insert them when I was lying on my back, using a mirror, than when I was kneeling on all fours. I eventually got all the beads in without pain or discomfort, and it was a very unique feeling inside!

I tried several different techniques for reviewing purposes. First, I know in BDSM many Doms are interested in forcing their subs to wear anal beads out in public, sometimes even all day, and I wasn't sure how that would work. But once they were all the way in, I was pleasantly surprised to find I could easily stand, walk, and sit in them without discomfort. The circled grip, made of soft, bendable jelly, fit comfortably between my cheeks, so I could sit without problem. Inside, I could feel the beads and they felt perfectly comfortable, just like having in a tampon. But one word of warning if you are a sub whose Dom wants you to try this: walking was normally fine, but at times without warning I would losen up and the beads would start to slip out! If you play with forced anal beads in public, plan to make emergency dashes to the restroom if needed.

What goes up must come down, and this was no exception. I did not really like the feeling of the beads coming out when I pulled quickly--the answer to this is lube, lube, lube, lube. You can do damage to sensitive tissues if you rip the beads out without enough lube, and in my case it did kind of hurt. However, I found pulling them out verrrry slowly, one bead popping out at a time, felt nice and very sexy for me, so to each her own.

I can almost hear the gasps now: "But how do you do anal play without touching poop?!" The answer is, if you do anal play enough, you don't. Luckily, feces don't usually reside in the first few inches of the rectum, so something small (like a finger) has a good chance of coming out clean. But longer toys, such as anal beads, go much farther in than a few inches, so there may be poop on them when you pull them out. If that grosses you out, you can always try an enema beforehand to get the whole area washed out. Personally, I'm not brave enough to voluntarily give myself an enema, so I'd suggest keeping some wipes and a towel handy. Once you are done with play, just go wash your hands and the beads with hot, soapy water... or, if you're me, compulsively scrub the beads three times, using nearly-scalding water and enough soap to kill an army of bad bacteria.

In the end, I think this is a very good buy for beginners, and it is only $7.99 + shipping. (A side note: The Adult Toy Shoppe does require you to have orders of up to $20 including shipping, so you will have to buy something else as well.) The only way I would not recommend it is if you suffer from hemorroids, because the strand will aggravate them and make them worse. If you buy them, use lots of lube, go slowly and relax, and don't feel the need to use the whole strand of beads the first time. Eventually, you will get used to this toy.

The second item I tried from this store was the Copper Swirl Anal Plug ($10.99). This plug appealed to my girly side because it is bright and colorful, and makes me happy to look at! It is also great for beginners because it is small, thin, and made of a soft material so the whole plug is bendy and squishable. For me, it is much less intimidating to stick something bendable and squishy into my butt than something hard and painful!

Once again, I did not have success with the plug until I put lube on; I could not even get it partway in. This just proves: for anything anal, use lube!!! Once I put in lube, the plug slid in without problem. I did have trouble getting it in at first; the plug is so bendable it kept bending and sliding down, missing my anus. With patience and a mirror, I got it to work.

This plug is small, thin, and comfortable. It has spiral ridges around it, for a unique twisty feeling if you want to rotate the plug while inside you, but I did not try this. I didn't keep the plug in for long, because I was sore from the aforementioned beads-with-hemorroids problem, but I wasn't as huge a fan of it as I am the beads. If you are an anal beginner, I would recommend buying the beads and leaving the plug til later, once you are comfortable with the smaller beads. Eventually, you can work up to this plug and later, even bigger and badder plugs, til you are an all-around anal rock star!

If you'd like, visit the Adult Toy Shoppe and browse through their many other anal and sex toys. A word of caution: this store does sell anal desensitizing (numbing) lube, which is not safe for healthy anal sex (find out why).

*Note: All pictures shown here are the property of The Adult Toy Shoppe.

Safe Actions

A hot part of BDSM scenes is tying, gagging, and blindfolding your helpless victim and having your wicked way with her. But if your little sub is gagged or unable to speak, how can she safeword? She can't. In these instances, a "safe action" is required.

Safe actions are just what they sound like: a signal to the Dom that something is wrong or that play needs to pause or stop.

If your sub is gagged, a common safe action is the ball-drop method. You give your sub a ball to hold and squeeze. If she needs to stop the scene, she drops the ball. You stop and untie/ungag her immediately.

Another option is to have the sub hum through the gag. If they are not blindfolded, blinking or winking at you will work. A simple hand signal will work as well.

Come up with your safe action, and agree on it before you start play. This way, everyone stays safe and happy! Good luck and happy playing!

More on Safe Words

Safewords (and safe actions, if you're gagged) are so important I believe an occasional blog update is in order.

There is a minority in the BDSM community that believes safewords give a sub too much control, and should not be used. I believe this is highly dangerous; it relies too much on a Dom's interpretation of the sub. Safety in BDSM takes both people: the Dom watching vigilantly, and the sub using a safe word.

Most people use a simple safeword that wouldn't come up in scene. These are words like aardvark, red, Xerox, Shamu, or other quirky words that simply won't come up! This way your Dom clearly knows you need to stop.

But the BDSM community has developed new modes of safety that are more complex and sophisticated than just one word. This is what I will discuss today.

One example of a more complex safeword system is the stoplight. Green means you are perfectly fine, yellow means slow down a bit, and red means stop now.

I also like a color-coded set of safewords. As a sub, I can attest that there are times in scene my needs are more than just "slow down" or "stop." In this case, you can use a color system, building off the stoplight codes. Blue, for instance, might mean "I need care, nurturing, and comfort" right now. Your lover does not need to stop or slow down, but you are feeling needy and want the general tone of the scene to change. Orange can mean, "Speed up! Go faster and harder. Hurt me!" and black can mean, "Start talking dirty to me and treating me like crap, please, Sir or Ma'am." Sometimes I love for my Dom to call me nasty, terrible names, and sometimes in the same situation I need him to just cuddle me and love me! There is no way he can know my needs in these situations unless I clearly communicate it to him. Sometimes my needs even change mid-scene! For instance, during phone sex once, I needed dirty talk and namecalling to get me turned on. Once I was turned on, however, my needs suddenly changed and I felt vulnerable, needy, and sad. In this case, rather than safewording and stopping the scene, I could have just used blue and my needs would have been met.

Another idea for those who feel slightly foolish shouting "Aardvark!" or "Black, please," is to use your Dom's name. I know I often feel too foolish to say my safeword, or I want to prove how tough I am, and I won't use my safeword. But it is easier to use his name. A first name can mean "slow down, back off a bit" and a full name means "Stop now!" Especially if, during sex, you usually call your Dom baby, Mistress, Mommy, Daddy, or Master, using his or her real name will be an automatic signal that something needs to change a bit so your needs are properly met.

Some subs disagree with me, but I also feel that just pausing the scene for a bit is fine. Others think that this is too fake, or it interrupts the "flow" of play, but I haven't found that. A past partner and I practiced this. He would be deep in the role of mean, terrible rapist or sadist, and I would be thrashing about, whimpering, and pleading with him to stop. Then suddenly, he would stop, look down at me, and ask quietly, "Really?" or "Are you okay?" I would pause in my role of tormented victim, make eye contact, and say, "No, not really!" or "I'm good!" and then we would go right back to beating or raping or fucking or whatever that scene called for. No harm done!

And finally, Doms and Dommes need to be watchful. Many subs won't or can't use safewords in really wild scenes, so you need to watch your sub. The longer you play with the same person, the easier this will get. For instance, I start to make myself small, curl up, and get plaintive and whiny when my needs aren't being met. My Dom is slowly starting to realize this means he needs to switch from "Master" to "Daddy" personae and comfort me. As you play with your partner more and more, this will get easier to read, and scenes will be physically and emotionally safer for both of you.

Review: Babeland's Iconic Cock Ring

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.