tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2136102288666163738.post2970328423199921194..comments2023-11-05T07:33:48.161-06:00Comments on A Kinkster's Guide: Help! My Partner Is into BDSM!!!!Sexpertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00781112894636030593noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2136102288666163738.post-55641445943731101292014-10-01T19:38:53.690-05:002014-10-01T19:38:53.690-05:00Anonymous:
I'm sorry for your pain. First le...Anonymous: <br /><br />I'm sorry for your pain. First let me say that BDSM did not "cause" your husband to sin. Your husband did that on his own. It is not BDSM's fault. A Christian man should not be looking at porn. You should never have to compete with porn stars; you should be his one and only! If he is curious about BDSM, that needs to be between the two of you, not include other people or porn. <br /><br />To my knowledge, kink has never caused divorce, but rather two people having incompatible sexual desires causes divorce. It's not the fault of kink (or vanilla) as two kinky people or two vanilla people will be very happy with their sexual relationship. <br /><br />If your husband is a Christian man, he can't cheat on you. To do so would be a sin, and to blame a sin on kink would be wrong. It is his own decision as he has free will. <br /><br />No, I haven't turned my husband into a willing abuser. We are both very clear on the difference between kink and abuse. Kink is consensual and enjoyable, abuse is not. I do not allow my husband to abuse me and he would never do such a thing. Many people new to kink can't see a difference, but the community has put a lot of effort into safety for everyone, making it very clear that kink without consent is abuse. If only one person enjoys it, it is abuse. If both people enjoy it, it's a legitimate expression of sexual pleasure in a marriage. <br /><br />No, he would never abuse a woman. He respects women. If a woman were not interested in kink, he would have to decide which were more important to him: having a kinky partner, or this woman. And then he'd have to make a choice. <br /><br />I'm sorry your husband discovered kink through sinning (porn). Encourage him to share his ideas with you, and try to be open to them and encourage him to be open to your ideas, but neither of you have an excuse to watch porn or cheat and if he tries to use it as an excuse he's dead wrong. Maybe just agree that you can each make an effort -- every other time try something kinky for him, every other time do something vanilla for you, etc. Sexpertshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00781112894636030593noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2136102288666163738.post-16486774783132818012014-09-27T19:32:32.870-05:002014-09-27T19:32:32.870-05:00Also, haven't you just turned your husband in...Also, haven't you just turned your husband into a willing abuser? If ever you would die and he would remarry, wouldn't the new wife be at high risk of abuse? Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2136102288666163738.post-4210397643990575132014-09-27T19:18:13.246-05:002014-09-27T19:18:13.246-05:00... Continued... And my husband wants me also to p...... Continued... And my husband wants me also to post hot pics to him about things I am interested in doing. We'll, since I don't think kinky stuff at all, I text him nice quotes, couples holding hands or kissing, fully clothed, etc. But he wants me to get more into it. I only am looking into it because I worry he will cheat on me if I don't. How can this be a good, Godly thing, if it caused him to cheat and do porn? Please stop deluding yourself. If kink has caused so many divorces as you say, how can it be right? Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2136102288666163738.post-62818224000076765832014-09-27T19:12:27.194-05:002014-09-27T19:12:27.194-05:00try putting the shoe on the other foot and underst...try putting the shoe on the other foot and understand it from a vanilla woman's viewpoint? My husband of 20 years suddenly got introduced to porn sites online and became very curious about BDSM . He has discovered that he is Not a Dom but still is interested in some of the kinky stuff. Sends me Tumblr pics on kik and wants me to send them to him. But, I took a test and found out I have no kink and a complete aversion to anything BDSM. I feel like I have to constantly compete with the porn girls who do it. How can this be Godly?? It caused my hubby to cheat online with several women. I do everything to satisfy him and find that most of the kink stuff is not me at all. It makes me distrust him and worry and fear for our relationship. I simply cannot see how any of this could truly be motivated by Christ. It is almost killing me. I M now extremely depressed by my husband's need to ExpresshAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com