7/08/2010

Bratting

"Bratting" is the term for women or subs who consciously disobey or test their partners to get a reaction out of him. Usually bratting occurs if a woman wants a spanking or some sort of attention. It can be frustrating for Doms, who only see their sub acting surly and disrespectful.

According to one CDD website,

"Bratting" is generally defined as acting in a fashion to intentionally provoke
the husband to spank her. She begins to be disrespectful or disobedient,
intentionally, for the sole purpose of convincing him to act.

In the BDSM community, as well as in DD (Domestic Discipline) communities such as CDD or Taken in Hand, bratting is received both positively and negatively. Some people see bratting as all bad, all the time. They think subs who purposely brat to get a spanking or other negative attention are disobedient, disrespectful, and childish---none of those things are qualities of a submissive, surrendered woman.

On the other hand, some people see bratting more as a harmless type of play, similar to teasing. The sub may be acting bratty in a playful way, even teasing the Dom to get a rise out of him.

However you see bratting, it isn't right or wrong so much as an individual action. If you are bratting just to piss your Dom off and get a spanking, that's probably bad. If you are bratting because it's a cry for attention, such as if you haven't felt controlled or punished enough lately, then you just need to sit him down and explain to him that you need a spanking and more consistency. However, if you're bratting because you and your Dom have a playful, flirtatious dynamic where you like to tease him and he enjoys the challenge, I don't see anything wrong with it. It all depends on the couple.

Here's what BDSM Top Craig has to say on the subject of bratting:

I hate bratting. I don't hate intelligent arguments, the egging-on of
individuals, a good bit of passive/aggressive behavior in the name of fun, but I
hate bratting. "What's the difference?" you whine, stamping a foot down like
Clever Hans. The difference is very clear to me. Bratting is this whiny,
childlike annoyance. I don't think it's very becoming on grown women. Further, I
have had four children, now mostly grown up. Over the last 23 years I've heard
plenty of whining. I don't want to pay to fly across the country to be with a
bunch of adults to hear more childish, lip-pouting Peewee Herman screeches.

On the other hand, a writer on the Taken in Hand site put it this way:

Brats are lovable! Brats make the head of their household glad to be alive. They
make them smile at all the right times, even if the smile is there especially
because they get to do what they love to do… spank their brats! Brats shake
their bottoms at their husbands and dare them to do something about it! And
speaking of dares, brats cannot resist them.


It doesn't matter how everyone else feels about bratting; it matters how you and your Top feel about it. Are you a serious submissive who dislikes disrespect and disobedience? Or are you a playful sub who enjoys teasing and testing her Dom? Does your Dom welcome some playful fun, or prefer you to remain obedient at all times? That is what determines whether bratting is right for you.

1 comment:

MrJ said...

Thanks for this and similar blogs. I find them useful as they include experience, rather than mere 'theory'.
I feel that there is a fine line between bratting as one instance that gives opportunity to dominate/submit; and sheer disobedience that implies a need for disciplien or deeper or stricter training.